For Better Or Worse
by Sincerely Tiffany
Summary: Four years of wedded bliss and plans of their future together could all be destroyed after a horrible car accident wipes away Det. Erin Lindsey's memory. Her life with Voight, forgotten. Her career, forgotten. Her wedding and husband are even forgotten. This is the journey of how one man uses his love and determination to have his wife fall back in love with him again.
1. The Accident

**This story is loosely based upon the movie titled The Vow. Hope you all enjoy.**

As their co-workers and friends talked and laughed with one another at Mollys, Jay Halstead's eyes remained focus on one person. That one person being the woman who has made this celebration possible, and it was on this day, exactly four years ago that she became his wife. The young married couple sat opposite of one other, ignoring the surrounding noise and focusing solely on their significant other. Halstead's forearms rested on the table, and enveloped within his hands, were that of his wife. He mindlessly played around with the silver wedding band wrapped securely around Erin's finger. Trapped within each other's orbs, the two didn't have a care in the world. She was his world and he was hers. Even though the two were married for four years, they've never lost their spark. One would assume they were still newlyweds in the way that they looked at each other, cared for one another, hardly argued, and longed to continually be in their respective spouse's presence.

A waving hand broke them from the unknown trance they seemed to have fallen into unintentionally, "Earth to the love birds!" Ruzek's goofy grin stretched across his face, as he stumbled on his feet, spilling some of the contents inside of his shot glass.

"Leave them alone Adam," Burgess grabbed her husband's arm, and struggled to withstand the weight of his drunken physique, "I think it's time for us to go. Call me tomorrow Erin." Ruzek wrapped his arm around his wife's waist, as he gave the couple an inebriated beam, "Happy Anniversary guys!"

"Thank you Adam," Erin stood up from the barstool, "We should go too. It's getting late and I want to spend the last few hours of our anniversary with my husband."

Jay took his wife's hand and led her through the crowd of friends. Atwater cheered as he watched the two make their way to the exit. Dawson tapped his glass, as Olinsky waved for the couple's attention before they could depart from the bar, "We just want to wish you guys one last Happy Anniversary. Even though you both didn't drink one sip of alcohol," this sparked a laugh and a few boos from the crowd, "we all know that you still had a good time because you were in each other's company. See you all the day after tomorrow…and have fun tonight!" Cheers and chants echoed throughout the bar as the couple turned to finish their journey towards the exit.

While Erin and Jay greatly appreciated the surprise party their friends threw for them, the Halsteads truly wanted to be alone in each other's presence. It was their anniversary. It was a time for them to celebrate their love, loyalty and vows towards one another. He promised to keep her safe. She promised to never stop loving him. Their vows were intertwined with the shared love and adoration they held for one another.

"You're leaving already?"

Erin turned around at the familiar voice of her father figure and boss. His face was flushed from rushing to Mollys before midnight struck, "I know I'm late," he looked between the couple, "I just had to finish up some extra paperwork."  
"I wanted some alone with my wife before it hits midnight," Jay wrapped his arm around Erin's shoulder, as she leaned into his warm embrace.  
"That's in," Voight glanced down at his watch, "three hours. You have time," he shoved his hands back into the pockets of his leather jacket; "Let me treat you both to a drink as an anniversary gift."

Lindsey looked to her husband with a pleading eye. And he didn't need for her to say anything; he could read the look on her face. She wanted to stay a little longer. "Just one drink," Hank stepped forward to seal the deal, "from father-in-law to son-in-law. It'll be quick."  
"Of course," Erin answered for her husband.

Halstead released a low sigh while reopening the door to Mollys. He held the wooden entrance open as his wife and Voight entered in front of him. "You're back," echoes of excitement radiated through the small bar.  
"What are you doing here?" Dawson approached his friend, "What happened to the romantic dinner you set up for Lindsey?"

Jay nudged his head in the direction of Hank, "We ran into a bit of a delay."  
"Halstead, get over here." Voight shouted as he waved for his son-in-law to follow.

Once Jay approached the bar, a glass of some type of liquid was shoved into his hand. Erin held her glass up, waiting for Hank to say what he needed, "My sweet Erin," the young detective smiled at her guardian's words, "I still have to remind myself that you're married. A part of me keeps expecting you to come over Sunday nights and spend the night like you used to do after you moved out." He wrapped his arm around her shoulders, and pulled her into his embrace, "I love you kid." While remaining in Voight's arms, her eyes followed his line of sight. Once he finished his short speech, he eyed her husband, "I tell you this every anniversary, and this anniversary won't be any different. Love her and protect her until you're dead."  
"Got it," Jay said with the nod of his head.

The three glasses clinked together signaling the end of Voight's speech. Lindsey and Voight tossed their heads back in order to drown the substance in one swift gulp. Halstead closed his eyes and did the same, until the liquid registered with his taste buds, "What is this? This isn't alcohol."  
"It's coke."  
"Yeah, I figured," Halstead set the glass down, "Why?

"Erin said you're driving. I prefer it if you didn't drive with alcohol in your system." Voight began to explain, handing the bartender his empty glass, "You may not value your life, but I value hers," his arm around Erin tightened, "you can do what you want when she's not in the car."  
"It was just going to be one drink," Halstead reminded.  
"We should get going," Erin cut in before Voight could respond. She turned in her father's arms and gave him a gentle and reassuring hug, "We'll be fine. He hasn't drunk any alcohol tonight, and to be honest, before the shot you bought me, I've been drinking water all night. We'll be fine."

Voight hesitantly released her, "Be safe Erin. Halstead, you too." Lindsey took a hold of her husband's hand before anyone could say anything. This little gathering was actually the most peace she's seen between Hank and Jay. Usually, they're at each other's throats, but today, they were actually a little civil.

The brisk autumn air struck against their bodies when Jay pushed open the door. Erin inhaled the fresh outside air, while taking a hold of her husband's hand, "Now we can finally head home."

"Finally!" Halstead echoed, pressing a kiss to his wife's forehead.  
"I just want you to know that I could barely contain myself back there."  
"Really," Jay gave her a flirtatious wink, "You seemed to be doing just fine."  
"It was all an act."

Jay dropped his arm in order to retrieve his keys out of his pocket. He unlocked the car with one click, and opened her door within seconds, "Who said you was driving?" Erin didn't get in the passenger seat.  
"You did. You told Voight I was and besides you had alcohol tonight. I'm driving."

Without putting up an argument Erin slid into the passenger seat, and allowed for Jay to close the door once she entered. She watched the smug grin on his face as he jogged around to the driver's side. Lindsey felt the cool breeze of air as he quickly hopped inside the car, "Back to what we were talking about earlier," the two buckled their seat belts as Jay brought up their previous discussion.  
"Oh yes," her hand reached over and intertwined with his.

"I love it when you let me drive," the car pulled off in one swift movement. Erin chuckled in her seat as she watched her husband steer the wheel.  
"I love to watch you drive."  
"Oh really," Jay remarked, pulling to a stop at the red light, "then how come you hardly ever let me drive."  
"I love it even more when you put up a fight to drive." She winked flirtatiously as the light turned green.

Erin's hand slowly pulled out of Jay's hold, and rested upon his thigh. At the gentle squeeze of her left hand, he quickly turned to look at her, "You can't do that while I'm driving."  
"…then park." Her voice was low, and if he hadn't listened carefully, he wouldn't have heard what she had said, "Parallel park right over there."

Lindsey didn't need to say another word. Within milliseconds the car swerved over for him to park legally. He turned the vehicle off, "Are we seriously going to do this?"  
"I don't joke around when it comes to sex," she unbuckled her seat belt.

Lindsey turned up the radio and allowed for the slow song to set the mood. She leaned over the armrest and pressed her lips against her husband's lips. Her body adjusted, and the kiss grew strong as she began to kick off her high heels.

For a brief moment, the two pulled away to collect their breaths. His hand ran through her hair, and cupped her cheek, the growing light in the back helped to illuminate her eyes, "I love you desperately Erin." She smiled, and was prepared to respond, but the sudden growing light caught her attention. As her body lay rested upon the armrest, she turned her head to face the back of the car, and spotted the dump truck. Before she could do or say anything, impact was made. The seatbelt strapped across Halstead's chest prevented movement, as his body jerked. His chest was pressed down upon the horn as his head hit the steering wheel.

Erin's worry for her husband was short-lived as her body made contact with the windshield. In a loud shatter, she crashed through it, and all consciousness was lost. Her body slammed against the pavement and rolled a great distance away from the car.

The horn continued to sound as Jay lay unconsciously against it. The dump truck driver exited his vehicle in a panic. He raced forward to check on the two unsuspecting individuals. At the sight of two badges, one strapped to Halstead's hip and the other lay upon the hood of the car, the driver panicked. He backed away within seconds, hopped back into his car, and drove off. The cold night air of the October temperatures blew against the bleeding wounds on Erin's body. She was out cold, and her hands lay flat against her side.


	2. The Coma

Hermann climbed onto the bar, stuck two fingers into his mouth, and whistled loudly. Once everyone turned to give him their undivided attention, he announced, "A round of shots on the house in celebration of Linstead's anniversary!" Even though Lindsay and Halstead weren't present to enjoy the festivity that celebrated their marriage, their closest family, friends and co-workers were able to attend and stay, and therefore, they decided to continue the party in spirit and in honor of them.

Voight ignored the shot placed in front of him, when the blaring of his cell phone interrupted the atmosphere. His ringtone was an old tune that he used to listen to back in his childhood days. He glanced at the screen, and slid his finger across the bottom when Platt's name lit up, "Platt? It's Erin and Jay's anniversary party. I told you not to call unless there's an emergency."  
"Sir, the district needs a favor."

Hank glanced around at the crowd of young adults, "Alright, what is it?" The two people he came to celebrate left, so in reality, there was no need for him to stick around.  
"Well, actually, we'll need most of you in the bar. Hopefully, you guys aren't too drunk."  
"Platt, what's the favor?"

Sergeant Platt grabbed her jacket as she headed out of the precinct. She pressed her cell against her ear as the wind hit against her, "There's been a report of a car accident, well more like a hit and run because the vehicle that hit the car fled the scene. Help is coming, but we're at least fifteen minutes away. You're at most five. We just need you to block off the scene, and get those paramedics, I forgot their names, but get them and get down to the scene until we can get there."

Hank didn't respond. He hung his phone up and rose from the barstool. Voight glanced around the crowded area, and began making his way towards the blaring music. He leaned low once it was reached, and unplugged the machine. Shouts of protests echoed around, but at the sight of Hank being the reason their jam fest ended, the murmur of complaints faded.

"Alright," he shoved his hands into his front pockets, "I need my team, and I'll need," he glanced towards the paramedics, but at the sight of their wobbly stance, he knew they wouldn't be of any good use, "Where is," he continued to look around, before spotting Jay's brother, "there you are. Will, you're sober enough, you're coming with us." Within seconds Dr. Halstead and his team followed behind him.

Since Voight's truck was the largest, his team piled in, while Dr. Halstead was ordered to drive. He had not taken a single sip of alcohol, due to him arriving at the bar, a few minutes before Jay and Erin left the establishment. Before he could get a drink, he had been ambushed by desperate, drunken girls who took up bar-hopping on this Saturday night. "Don't be afraid to press the gas," Hank jumped into the passenger seat, "It's an emergency."  
"Can I turn on the sirens?" Will beamed, eyeing the switch.  
"…just drive." Voight buckled his seat belt, as the car took off.

During the five minute quest, Hank used two of those minutes to restate everything Platt told him. They just needed to offer fifteen minutes of their time until backup could arrive. When Voight's truck turned the corner, they spotted the crowd of bystanders. Distance was remained between the bystanders and the accident scene.  
"Sarg," Atwater cleared his throat, "isn't that Halstead's car?"

At the mention of his son-in-law, Will's brother, and the team's co-worker, they each looked up and read the license plate. The car did in fact belong to Jay. Each door of the black truck flew open, and out stepped the badged detectives and the accredited doctor.  
"Roman and Burgess, you two block off the scene! Atwater, you and Dawson question these witnesses! And make sure you get names and numbers just in case we have further questions!" His shouts were ordered as he raced over to Jay's car.

Will slid to a stop as they approached the driver's side. He took a grip of the door handle, and tore it open, "Help me take him out and lay him down."  
"Wait," Hank tapped Jay's cheek lightly.

His son-in-law stirred in place, and blinked open his eyes. His pupils searched the faces in front of him as they registered. Jay noted Will, Voight, Olinsky and Ruzek standing within an arm's reach of him. He could hear his car horn blaring in the silent night, forcing him to achingly pull away from the driver's wheel, "What happened?" His hand rose to the gash on his forehead, "What's going on?"  
"Jay, look at me," Hank urged, and struggled to wait patiently for Halstead to turn his aching head, "Where's Lindsay? She was in the car with you. Where is she?"

Halstead grabbed his forehead, "Erin," his eyes closed at the thought of his wife, "ERIN!" He reopened his eyes within seconds. Jay looked at her empty seat, as his eyes searched the car.

"Boss!"

At the sound of Roman's voice, Voight turned away from his son-in-law. His fists clenched against his side. Whatever Roman wanted, it better had been important. Seeing Roman a distance in front of the car, his heart began to panic. Hank pushed his officers to the side, as he ran up to Roman, "Erin." Voight stooped low, as he ran his hand over her back, "WILL!"

Halstead watched as his brother took off in the direction of Voight. He tried to step out of the car, but the strength of his seat belt held him in place. Through his blurry vision, Jay's hands fumbled against the belt, and at the sound of a click, he sighed in relief.  
"Whoa buddy," Ruzek caught Jay as he tumbled out of the car, "you sure you should be walking?"  
"My wife…my my wife." Halstead groaned, struggling to stand back to his feet.  
Burgess approached the two, "Your brother is looking at her…maybe you should take a seat and wait to get looked at."

Jay ripped himself from Adam's hold. He struggled to walk forward, but as his eyes landed on the shattered glass on the ground, his heartrate began to increase. Halstead took a glance back and noticed her badge on the hood of his car, and right next to it were more pieces of shattered glass that came from his windshield. His breath hitched as he picked up his pace, "She flew through my windshield."  
"She didn't have her seatbelt on?!"Voight shouted, pressing his fingers into the back of his head, "Why wasn't she wearing a seatbelt? And why were you parked in the first place?"

Halstead knew the answer to his questions, but felt it wasn't important as to why they stopped. The importance of the situation is the fact that his wife was unconscious and what looked to be critical. He lowered himself to his knees, "Is she going to be okay?" Jay looked to his brother as he took a hold of her hand, "Will! Tell me she's going to be fine!"

Ambulance sirens could be heard in the distance followed by the sirens of police cruisers. While his wife landed face first into the pavement, Will had slowly and gently rolled her over onto her back, so he could accurately check her pupils, pulse and consciousness. While Burgess and Atwater held the crowd back, she couldn't help but to continually look over her shoulder. Her best friend was near death, and she couldn't even be at her side.  
"Over here!" She heard her husband yell, as he waved for the paramedics to follow him towards Erin.  
"TBI," Will informed the paramedic, "she's critical, but I'm pretty sure she has TBI."  
"TBI, what is that?" Voight's question was shouted over the incoming sirens, and the chatter that took place behind the police tape. A brace was swiftly connected around Erin's neck and head.  
She was gradually placed onto the gurney as Will answered, "Traumatic brain injury."

Regardless of the glass on the ground, Jay rested his hands upon the pavement and pushed himself onto his feet. He blinked through the blurriness, and concentrated on the gurney being wheeled away, "I'm coming."  
"I need to check on you," Will grabbed his brother's arm, and forced him still, "I love Erin like a sister, and you and I both know that she'll kick my ass if I let anything happen to you."  
"But," Jay pointed over his shoulder, "but, that's my wife!"  
"And there's nothing you can do for her now," Dr. Halstead directed his brother towards the curb, "Let's slowly sit you down, be careful." He lowered his brother to the ground, "I don't hear Voight's voice so we can assume he went with Erin to the hospital."

Jay pushed his brother's prying hands away, "I need to go to the hospital. She…she needs me!"

Will Halstead reached into his suit jacket, and pulled out a small flashlight connected to his keys. He turned on the device and shined it into his brother's eyes, "Follow my finger." The only thing Jay's eyes could focus on was the ambulance driving further and further away, "Look Jay, the quicker I finish my observation, the sooner I'll drive you to the hospital. And once we get to the hospital, I'll let you check on Erin's diagnosis, but then I'll grab a buddy of mine that specializes in neurology to give you the thumbs up. You banged your head pretty hard."

With her arms crossed over her chest, Burgess watched as Will checked up on his brother. He examined his eyes, speech and sense of surroundings. She was completely absorbed in the status of her best friend's husband that she ignored Ruzek's arm being gently thrown around her shoulders, "He'll be fine, and so will Erin."  
"You don't know that!" Burgess pulled herself out of Adam's hold, "You're speculating Adam! Yes, Erin's strong, but she's also human! Did you look at her? Her face…" Kim's fingers lightly brushed up against her own face, "Her face was covered in bruises and blood. That's not fine, it's far from it."  
"The officers here can handle this," He pulled out the keys that Voight handed him before he left with the paramedics, "Let's grab our team and head down to the hospital."

Will extended his hand towards his brother, and pulled him to his feet, "From what I can tell, you have a concussion, but you still need to take it easy. Concussions can lead to complications, so for the next few days I want you to relax."

Jay gave his brother a nod of the head as he rushed past him. Will sighed to himself and shook his head when he realized that his words went in one of Jay's ears and out of the other. The team, including Will Halstead, crammed into Voight's truck, turned the sirens on (by Will's request) and sped towards the hospital.  
"So what happened back there?" Roman glanced out of the window in order to watch as the accident scene faded from sight.

The side of Halstead's head was pressed against the rolled up window as he responded, "Erin and I decided to park and fool around a bit." He stared forward as he could feel everyone else's eyes, except for the driving Ruzek, fall upon him, "We parked legally, and then the next thing I know I felt a hard hit, and then everything went black. The first time I woke up was when you guys arrived and Voight woke me up. I didn't," his voice broke, "I didn't even realize that she went through the windshield." Jay cleared his throat, "I don't want to talk about it."

Burgess leaned forward in her seat, and gave his shoulder a squeeze. While she needed comforting, she knew he needed it more. Erin is his wife and the love of his life. She could see the guilt embedded on his face, "It's not your fault." In return, he gave her an appreciative smile.

The car skidded to a stop in the emergency entrance of the hospital. Ruzek dropped everyone off, as he raced around to find a legal parking spot. Voight would kill him if he got his car towed on top of everything that's going on with Erin. The Intelligence team raced into the hospital, with Will following closely behind. The neurosurgeon stood at the entrance waiting for Halstead, "I'll take you to the back to do a more thorough examination."  
"How's my wife?"  
"She's still in surgery. Come with me."

Jay didn't move, "I want to wait for word on my wife."  
"By the time we know anything, I'll be done with your examination. I know it's hard detective, but it's going to be alright."  
"You don't know that! Did you see her when she came in?"

The neurosurgeon gave the younger man a sympathetic grin, "She has the best doctors working on her. She'll come out of this, and when she does, she'll want her husband to be in tip top shape to wait on her hand and foot."

Halstead couldn't help but to crack a grin. The thought of him waiting on Erin was comical. She didn't allow people to do much for her. It was aggravating for Halstead, especially when he tried to do something nice for her. At the feeling of Burgess hand patting his back, he walked forward, "I won't let the doctor tell us anything until you're back."

While Jay went to an examination room, the rest of the team went to the waiting room to sit with Voight. He sat in the center of the busy waiting room, with his head resting in his opened palms. He kept his eyes squeezed shut, but at the sense of a presence surrounding him, he opened them, "There's no word."  
"We know," Dawson nodded.

Voight took a glance around the waiting room, "Where's Jay?"  
"He's getting examined," Burgess answered, taking a seat next to Hank.

Brief silence followed Kim's answer, and as a result, Voight brushed his hands against his legs, and pushed himself up to his feet, "They just left her there."  
Burgess looked up, "Pardon?"  
"I'm talking about the person who hit them! They saw what they did, they saw Erin, and they just left her there!" Voight shook his head at the thought of a bleeding Lindsay, and a running coward, "I'm going to find who did this, and when I do, they're dead." By the end of his threat, Ruzek came jogging in, holding out Hank's keys, "What did I miss? Any word on her status?"

"No," Atwater answered.

Once Kevin responded, Jay came rushing into the waiting room. A bandage was sealed against his once bleeding head wound. Besides the few bruises, and minor scrapes, he was perfectly fine. The doctor cleared him.  
"How's Erin?"  
"There's still no word," Dawson replied.

Jay approached Voight, "Did you give Justin and Olive a call?"  
"Would you mind calling them?" He held out his cell phone to Olinsky, "Call Meredith and Lexi too. They would want to know."  
"What about Bunny?" Burgess spoke up, asking about the person that no one particularly liked. She took a glance at Jay, "She is her mother, and she deserves to know. Oh, and Annie too."

"Family of Erin Halstead."

At the announcement of his wife's name, the family and friends that were needed to be called quickly left his mind. He wasn't focused on them now. At this moment, the doctor had his complete and undivided attention.

"I'm her husband."

"I'm her father."

Voight and Halstead stood side by side. The remainder of the Intelligence Unit surrounded the two as the doctor skimmed his clipboard, "There was definitely head trauma," he looked up to meet the eyes of her family, "and because of it, we have medically induced her into a coma."

"Wait," Halstead's voice shouted over the chatter surrounding them, "my wife is in a coma?" His finger pressed against his chest to accentuate the 'my,' he looked up at the doctor, and repeated his statement, "Erin, my wife is in a coma? What…why? How long?"  
"…just until her brain can properly heal."

Hank turned the doctor to face him, "but how long will that be? When can she come out?"  
"When I feel that the damage has been properly repaired," He turned to face her husband, "I can answer as many questions as you would like, but there's a matter of paperwork that you need to fill out."

Without further argument, Halstead shoved his sore hands into his pocket and followed behind the doctor. As he occasionally looked over his shoulder, he spotted Voight, standing in the center of the hallway, with a mixture of emotions flashing across his face. He snatched the keys out of his pocket, gave Jay a look of assurance, before storming out of the hospital.  
"I'll go after him before he does something stupid." Olinsky took off in the direction Hank disappeared.


	3. The Awakening

The speed of his feet hitting against the pavement increased as visions from that night, two months ago flooded through his mind. He ignores the beautiful sights of the trees around him, as he focuses forward. Sweat darkened his light-toned grey hoodie as he quickened his pace. He used the fast beat coursing through his earphones as a guide and a motivator to keep up with his fast jog. Since the accident, Jay took up jogging every morning as a way to release his anger, frustration, guilt and confusion. He was usually out for about two hours, before he headed back to his condo and started to get ready for work.

As the clouds moved to block the low sun, Jay bit upon his lip and increased his speed. His hands were clenched into fists, and the pools of sweat on his forehead started to cascade down his face. He mentally cleared his mind and allowed for the beat of whatever song decided to play on his cell to push his body forward. Drizzles of rain sprinkled down onto the ground, and usually when it started raining, he would end his jog, but today, he couldn't bring himself to do it. Halstead lifted his hood and placed it securely upon his head as he kept running forward ignoring the speed of the rain as it increased.

Some of the rain hit against his eyes and mixed in with the forming tears. He struggled to blink them away as he kept up with his ongoing pace, but once one drip of rain went away, another would appear. Jay stared forward, and mentally noted how the jogging trail has cleared. Halstead approached a park bench, and leaned forward, pressing his hands down upon the seat. He released a loud groan, as his body ached from the overexertion. As his hands rested against the wooden bench, his eyes fell upon the wedding band wrapped securely around his ring finger. His eyes glazed over as the memory of his wedding proposal played through his head, _"You can do this Halstead,"_ _He told himself as he stood firm. His posture upright, as the sunlight beamed through the opened curtains. Jay licked his lips and cleared his throat, "Erin!" He closed his eyes as a knot formed in his throat. He couldn't afford to get tongue-tied now, of all days, he couldn't be speechless now._

 _Jay could hear her fumbling around in the bedroom. Halstead had set himself an alarm to ensure himself that he woke up before her. When she fell asleep the night before, his plan was in action. Operation: Perfect Proposal was a go. And now, the next morning, as she showered, he prepared the remaining part of the morning. While Jay gave her plenty of time to get ready, he was growing impatient and nervous. The more time he had to think about it, the more he became antsy and filled with overactive nerves, "Erin!"_

" _I'm coming," he could hear the lightness and the laughter in her voice, "Just give me," the door opened to their bedroom, "a sec." She stood completely still underneath the threshold. Jay tugged the collar around his neck as he observed her reaction._

 _Her mouth continuously opened and closed as her eyes trailed the pathway of red roses. The bright red petals reached the feet of her boyfriend, as he stood in front of their dining room table draped with a white table cloth and freshly cooked breakfast on top. Erin's hand covered her mouth, "Jay," her voice was almost too low to hear, but Halstead managed to pick up on her words, "What…what is this?"_

 _Jay lifted the single white rose from the table, before lowering himself to the ground and positioning his knees into the traditional proposal stance. When the realization hit her, Halstead could tell. He watched her face conform from shock, to nervousness, to excitement, before finally resting on happiness. She walked along the path of rose petals, and took a stand in front of her boyfriend, "Jay…"_

" _There are countless ways to achieve happiness, and blessings in this lifetime," He held out the rose to her, "but for me, the only way is with you. I want to grow old with you Erin. I want to continue making memories with you. And I want you to promise me, that in the next ten years, we'll be married and telling our children about how I proposed to you. I knew you were the one for me the moment I met you. And with Voight's acceptance, I want you to be my wife. I want you to be the next Mrs. Halstead. I want you to make me the happiest and the luckiest man in the world…in the universe. I've never loved someone as much as you and I can't fathom a world without you as my wife." He inhaled sharply, and took a hold of her hand, "So, Erin, what do you say? Will you make me the happiest and most grateful man alive?"_

 _Lindsay cracked a gentle smile as soft tears streamed down her cheeks. She could barely say anything, but she needed to give him an answer…an answer that he deserved, "Of course." Jay pressed a kiss upon the back of her right hand as he stood. She wrapped her arms around his neck, as he snuggled his face into the crook of hers, "Where's my ring?" He could hear her whisper the question softly into his ear._

 _Jay pulled away, and took a hold of her left hand, "You're wearing it."_ _Halstead had managed to place the ring upon her finger while she was asleep._

The song that played through his earphones was interrupted, and his ringtone began to blare deafeningly. He ripped one of the buds out of his ear, and kept the other inside to be able to hear the voice of whoever decided to call, "What is it?"

"Jay, it's me."

"Will," Halstead stood up straight, "What is it? Is everything okay? What's wrong? How's Erin?"

Dr. Halstead smirked from the other end, "Whoa, brother. I am actually calling with great, fantastic and wonderful news. Erin has woken up."

Without further thought, Jay took off in the direction he had just come from. He didn't care about work right now; he had just received the news that he's been waiting two months to hear. Dr. Halstead could hear the heavy panting of breath through the phone, "You're out for a jog?"  
"Not anymore," Jay answered.  
"I've been swamped with patients this morning. I haven't had a chance to see her. While her doctor is off, he's also on call today, but she has a nurse tending to her. I have to go Jay. I was just paged. I'll see you when you get here." Will hung up the phone.

Halstead tore the remaining ear phone out of his ear, and stuffed it into his pocket with his cell phone. Even though he was physically exhausted and tired, it didn't slow him down. He was going even faster than when he first started out. It was like he was in a marathon race, and Erin was his finish line. He desperately needed to see her.

After hopping into Erin's dry car, Jay clicked upon the seat belt, started her car, and merged into traffic within seconds. Since his vehicle was still in the auto shop, he had been using his wife's car. If it wasn't raining, he would have gotten there in half the time, but because it was, he needed to drive extra careful. He had already gotten into one car accident; he didn't need to get into another. Jay doesn't think to call anyone. His mind was focused on Lindsay, and he wanted to see his wife before everyone started hogging her. It may have been selfish, but Halstead didn't care. He slept by her side for years, and now the two months that just passed made it harder on him to fall asleep. He missed her tremendously.

As the car whipped from lane to lane in its attempt to dodge traffic, Jay's mind played through a continuous chain of memories. A montage of their four year marriage drifted through his mind beginning with their honeymoon in Italy. He smiled as he remembered how excited Erin was to walk the streets of Rome, Venice, Florence, Milan and Naples. They had to have gained over fifty pounds eating all of the delicious Italian food, but they managed to exercise a nice amount off when dancing with the locals in the beautiful streets. The current memory faded, and the start of a new memory began. The day that Erin and Jay moved in together was one of comedic relief. After purchasing a brand new condo, about ten minutes away from their work, they recruited everyone to help them move in. Jay's laughter brought him out of the flashback as he remembered Erin and Kim carrying in one box together, before disappearing. When he and Ruzek went searching for their wives, they found them upstairs, fast asleep on the carpeted floor. The final memory that entered his mind was of their first Thanksgiving as husband and wife. Jay's family wanted them over for dinner, but so did Erin's family, and in order to solve the dilemma, the two decided to host Thanksgiving at their house, and invite both sides of their family.

The bright red hospital sign lit up as Halstead illegally parked the vehicle in front of it. He recognized one of the nurses, and tossed her his keys. April didn't put up an argument; she happily obliged to park his car because she knew why he was here. She knew who he was here to see. Jay's eyes are wide open as he races into the hospital. He scans the lobby, and sighs in relief when he notices his brother waiting for him; "I haven't seen her yet," Will met his brother half way, "I put a call in for her doctor. He's off today, but he's coming in. A nurse has been with her," It may have been things Will has already told his brother, but that's all he knew at the moment. He wanted to fill the silence as the two walked to Erin's room.

Will's hand taps against the closed visiting room door, "Hey," he nods towards the nurse, and waves her to come out, "My brother's here."  
"I'll be back in a little later to check on you," the nurse assured, patting the young detective's shoulder.

The nurse backed away from the patient she's been taking care of for two months. She stopped at the door, and gave Lindsay a kind smile before exiting the room. Will pushes the door open, and waved for his brother to step through. As a result of the nerves bubbling in his lower stomach, Jay began to take deep breaths before stepping inside.

When the nurse was called out of the room, she didn't expect any visitors. It was only a few moments ago she woke up and found herself lying in a hospital bed. The older nurse who cared after her was the only company she was up for at the moment. When a voice cleared, Lindsay felt compelled to roll over in the bed, and as she did her eyes focused in on the two men standing near the doorway. Her bandaged hands pushed down upon the bed as she pushes herself to sit up, "Let me help you." Jay rushed across the room and assisted his wife in sitting up comfortably. He fluffed the pillow behind her back, and draped the thin blanket across her legs, "How are you feeling?"  
"Pretty good," She gave him a dimpled grin, "but I do have a question."  
"Anything," Jay took a seat at the edge of her bed, and rested his hand upon her ankle.  
"Alright, I want you to give it to me straight." The smile from Erin's face faltered, as her expression turned serious, "What happened to me? How did I end up here? Was anyone else hurt?"

Will leaned against the far wall as he watched the interaction between his brother and sister-in-law. In response to Erin's questions, Jay released a low chuckle, "Erin, let's talk about that later." He laid his hand over hers, "Let's focus on-"  
"But doctor," she pleaded, removing her hand from beneath his, "I…I need to know."

Dr. Halstead watched as the smile on his brother's face dropped. He stood up, and lost all contact with his wife. He pressed his hand against his forehead, dejectedly, "Erin, this isn't funny." The door swings open, and in rushes Voight, Burgess, Ruzek and Olinsky. Will had called as soon as he had gotten off of the phone with Jay. A smile rested on each of their faces, except for Hank, who felt angered at the fact that Jay wasn't the one to call him and inform him of Erin waking up, but the moment he spotted a healthy Erin, he couldn't stay mad any longer.

Erin's fingers fumbled with the white hospital band strapped tightly around her wrist. She looked at all of the smiling faces, but the look on her face presented confusion, "Detective Olinsky," her brows furrowed as she made eye contact with Alvin, "Detective Voight," her eyes averted towards Hank, "What's going on? And…" she squints at Jay, Adam and Kim, "who are they?"

Seconds after voicing her confusion, the door opened once more. In stepped Bunny, her mother, whom she hasn't spoken to in five years. Bunny looked nervous. She didn't know how her daughter would react to seeing her, but she was willing to take the chance. Bunny was Erin's biological mother, and just because Erin stopped caring about her mother, didn't mean she stopped loving her daughter.  
"Mom!" A wide grin broke out upon Lindsay's face, and from the excitement of her declaration, an equal smile broke out across Bunny's face. Bunny pushes through Kim and Adam in her attempt to rush up to her daughter's bed. She felt Erin's arms wrap around her, and hold her tight, "Mom, what happened? Why am I here? What's going on?"

Dr. Brooks, Erin's doctor entered the room, holding his clipboard and smiling thankfully. The brief grin on his face dropped at the sight of the frowns surrounding him. "We need answers," Voight growled, turning to face her doctor, "She can't remember us. She doesn't know her relationship to us. You put her in a coma for her to heal! Well doctor I hate to break it to you, she didn't! You need to fix this…and I mean right now!"

The doctor handed Will his clipboard, as he retrieved a small flashlight from his lab coat. He approached Lindsay, and allowed for her mother to take a hold of her daughter's hand, "You were in an accident Erin," the doctor shined the flashlight into her eye.  
"I was…" Lindsay squeezed her mother's hand, "I…I don't remember."  
The doctor flashed the light into her other eye, "What's your first and last name?"

"Erin Lindsay."

Jay frowns as he realizes her legally married last name didn't cross her mind. Erin was usually proud to introduce herself as Erin Halstead. She didn't even hyphen her name because she adored the sound of his last name following her first name.  
"Who do you recognize in this room?" Dr. Brooks turned the flashlight off, and tucked it back into his pocket.

Erin looked to her mom and smiled, "My mom of course," Bunny couldn't help but sigh in immediate relief, "And the two detectives," her head nodded in the direction of Voight and Olinsky.  
"How do you know the two detectives?"  
"They busted me a couple of times I made runs for Charlie." The shrug of Erin's shoulders and the avoidance of her eyes reminded Hank of when she was younger…much younger.

Dr. Brooks crossed his arms, "What is the last thing you remember?"  
"Detective Voight and Detective Olinsky released me after giving me another warning. It was the same day that you," she points to her mother, "gave me my first and last cigarette to lessen the blow of telling me that my dad was rejected at his parole hearing."

As a result of Erin's last memory, Bunny gave her daughter a toothy grin. She brought her daughter's hand up and pecked the palm of it. Erin remembered nothing, and now Bunny had another chance with her daughter. The doctor taps a distracted Bunny's shoulder, "How long ago was that?"  
"She was 14 and I believe it was March." Bunny sighed to herself as the smile on her face stretched further across, "Ah, good times."

Voight shoved his fists into his leather jacket, "That was two months before I gave you my card."  
"What card?" Erin looked around uncomprehendingly.  
His head shook, "Forget about it."

Lindsay pulled her hand out of her mother's tight and protective hold. She clasped her hands together and leaned back against the pillow, "I appreciate you all coming to see me, but right now I need to be with my mom...this is a family matter."

"We ARE your family!" Jay couldn't contain himself, "I'm your HUSBAND!" He tried to stand back and allow the doctor to review Erin, and hopefully fix whatever happened, but at the mention of her saying her mother was family, and implying that they weren't, broke his heart. She ended all contact with her mother. She terminated all contact with anyone close to her mother or that life she had before Voight took her under his wing.

Erin looked to her mother in a panic, "What?" Her eyes soon fell upon her left hand, and wrapped tightly around her ring finger was a beautiful wedding band, "What? No, what is going on? This can't be happening!"

Jay approached his wife as she struggled to comprehend exactly what everyone was telling her. Here she thought she was a fourteen year old girl, but she soon found out she was a grown woman married to an attractive man.  
"Two months ago, a dump truck hit us on our anniversary," he wanted to take her hand in his, but he knew it would be too much for her. She barely comprehended as is. "You went…you went through the windshield." Recounting the events of that night was always hard for him. While he didn't see her go through, he could picture it, and it broke him physically and emotionally. The pain she must have felt as they waited for help prevented him from sleeping at night.


	4. The Warning

_Jay sat at his desk, scribbling mindlessly on his notepad. He and Erin had arrived early to get a head start on work, but now that they were all caught up, all they had to do was wait for Voight and the rest of the team to arrive in order to start the next case. Halstead and Lindsay have been dating for almost two years, and he would be lying to himself if he told anyone he didn't imagine a permanent future with her._

 _As Jay began to sketch a stick person against the white notepad, he noticed a single key placed down in front of him. Jay set the pencil down, and picked up the key, "What's this for?"_

" _You're moving in with me." Erin shrugs her shoulders as if it's no big deal, "You'll need a key." She turned her back to him and walked over to her desk._

 _Jay rose from his seat, and carried the key over to her, "Who said I was moving in with you?" The key rested securely within his hold. He had no intention of returning it, "You never asked."_

" _I'm asking now."_

" _Are you sure?" Jay tilted his head to the side as he replayed the moment. When the memory ended, his head shook, "Because it sounded like you were telling me."_

 _Erin rose from her seat, and moved closer to her boyfriend. She stood within an arm's reach of him as she eyed the key he so protectively held in his hand, "You know you want to move in with me. Why are you making this difficult?" He couldn't help but smile at the dimpled grin she gave him._

" _You don't know that," Jay shook his head, as she wrapped her arms around his neck, "I like my bachelor pad. If you haven't noticed, the ladies love it."  
_ " _The only lady you need to worry about loving," she pressed a quick peck against his lips, "is me." Jay wrapped his arms around her waist, and slowly lowered his mouth towards hers. She welcomed the kiss, and felt the once cold office begin to heat up._

 _The only reason the two pulled apart was because the sound of a cling interrupted their quiet and peaceful atmosphere. Instinctively, they pulled apart and looked around. No one was here. Voight had a rule about PDA. Erin covered her heart, "That was a close one. Hank may have allowed us to date, but I'm pretty sure he'll have something to say about us making out at work." Erin continued to glance around while remaining in the arms of Halstead, "What was that?"_

 _Jay pulled his hands back, "I dropped the key."_

" _Give it back," she held out her opened palm, "You're going to lose it."_

 _He picked up the single key, "Not if I do this." The smile on Erin's face grew even bigger than she thought was possible as she watched him slide their house key onto his key ring._

Erin stood before her 'husband' and watched his sitting figure quietly snooze in the waiting room. She glanced around and noticed other individuals frantically pacing, calling friends and family members, yelling for a doctor, etc…as they waited for word on whatever loved one was brought in. The confusion on her face dropped as a small frown replaced it. She felt bad. She was in a coma for two months while her loved ones more than likely resembled the people currently in the waiting room. She may not remember Jay, but he remembers her, and she couldn't help but feel as if his lack of sleep, his bloodshot eyes and his current state was because of her.

A part of her wanted to allow him to finish resting. It was probably the first nap he'd been able to take, but another part of her wanted him to wake up. She wanted to talk to him. Jay's chin rested in his hand as his light snores began to echo around the waiting room. Fortunately, there was so much commotion and noise for anyone, besides Erin who is standing within earshot, to hear.

"Excuse me," Erin nervously tapped his shoulder. She didn't want to scare him awake.

His eyes blinked open, "Erin," Jay sat up straight, "Hey, um, should you be out of bed? Is everything okay? Do you need me to find your doctor? Who are you looking for? I can-"

Lindsay laughed, "Whoa, are you always this wound up?" She waved for him to follow her, "I was actually looking for you. I was wondering did you want to come to the cafeteria with me and get some food. I heard it isn't great, but I'm going more for the company."

"Yeah, of course," Jay couldn't help but smile. Here he was, before falling asleep, he was thinking about the next step he should take with Erin, but as it turns out, she was taking the first one. He had thought that because her memories disappeared before he had met her, before her life had changed, before she became a cop, before she moved in with Voight, before every good life-altering thing occurred, that she was forever gone. He thought she was a teenage girl stuck in the body of a grown woman, but after further explanation from the doctor, his wife's situation had somewhat put him at ease. Erin doesn't have a fourteen year old girl's mindset. As Jay followed Erin towards the cafeteria, his mind drifted to the discussion he had with his wife's doctor yesterday.

 _Jay took a seat in the office of Dr. Brooks. He rested his face in the palm of his hands as he heard the doctor enter the room, "So Erin's memories stop at 14?" Halstead dropped his hands and looked up. He noticed that Voight and Burgess were also now in the room.  
_ " _Yes," Dr. Brooks took a seat in his desk chair._

" _So what you're telling me is that my wife has the mind of a 14 year old?"_

" _No," Dr. Brooks clarified, as he shook his head, "Her memory just stops there. She's still very much an adult, her brain is still fully developed and how she thinks and what she thinks is very much mature and grown up. The only relation that Ms. Lind…I mean Mrs. Halstead has with 14 is the fact that her memory stops there," He gives Jay a reassuring smile, "You will not have to worry about her going through puberty again Mr. Halstead." The light laughter of the doctor quickly ceased when he realized his joke didn't pull a smile on any of their faces, "Besides the fact that your wife has no memories, she's otherwise just a healthy 30 year old woman."_

" _Having no memories isn't healthy," Kim remarked, snapping irritably._

 _Dr. Brooks rose from his seat, "I meant physically. We can't seem to find anything physically wrong with her."_

" _Well, what can we do to help her get her memories back?"_

" _You have to be patient. Don't force it."_

Halstead followed behind her, and took in her appearance. Even dressed in a hospital gown, she looked beautiful. Her hair was tied back, and the freshness of her face gave him immediate relief. She was awake, and walking around. She smiled occasionally, and even though she didn't remember him, he was still thankful that she woke up in the first place.

The two silently grabbed trays and food that actually looked edible before taking a seat in the empty cafeteria. He watched her carefully eat her food as she struggled to move her fingers around with the bandages wrapped around them preventing her from moving them too freely.

"So, Jay," Erin whispered after clearing her throat, "is that short for something? Jason? Jacob?"

Halstead shook his head, "Nope, it's just Jay."

"Can you tell me about my life," Erin leaned forward and gave him a gentle smile, "with you?"

Jay cleared his throat and happily obliged, "We live in a condo in the city, and you're my partner. We're detectives." He was so relieved that she was curious enough to know about her life with him that she came to him and asked questions. She was still the Erin he knew; she was brave, stubborn and curious. The accident didn't take her away completely.

Erin leaned back in her seat and chuckled. She dropped the fry, and gave him a sly smirk, "Me, a cop? Yeah right," The chuckles continued as she picked up the fry from her tray.

"I'm serious, look," he dug into his pocket and pulled out something he had been carrying around with him since the accident, "Here's your badge." He watched her take a hold of it, "I carry it around with me to keep myself close to you."

"Aw, that's sweet," Erin whispered, as her fingers mindlessly traced the lines on her badge.

"Does anything come to mind, any memories?"  
Her head shakes, "Sorry, nothing."

Halstead sat up straight, and pushed his full tray away from him. He hadn't been hungry lately, and today was no exception. He pressed his elbows against the table, and leaned forward, "I went into work after I visited you yesterday."  
"And?" Erin was curious to see where he was going with the discussion.

"Everyone wanted to know how you were doing," he chuckled to himself and shook his head, "Ruzek, he works with us. He's your best friend's husband."  
"My best friend?" Erin questioned.

"Kim, she visited you yesterday, along with Ruzek. We'll discuss that later," Jay wanted to finish his earlier story, "Well Ruzek is the jokester of our friend group. He can make light out of any bad situation." Jay summarized, before chuckling to himself, "We were updating everyone on your status, and I mentioned how you lost your memory. Well Ruzek cracked a joke," he noticed the smile pulling at her face; "he said it may be a good thing you lost your memory," the smile dropped, "only because you won't remember any of the stupid things I've done." The smile came back and Erin chuckled softly.

"ERIN!"

Lindsay jumped in her seat, and rested her hand over her heart. She glanced around the empty hospital cafeteria before noticing her mother racing towards her. Bunny pulled her daughter to her feet, and wrapped her arms around her, "I was so worried! I went to your hospital room, and I couldn't find you. No one knew where you were!" She pulled away, and glanced down at Jay, "How dare you take her away from her room? She's not well Jay. As her husband, you shouldn't be rushing her. Give her time, and if she doesn't remember, then that's the way it's supposed to be."

"You don't want her to remember!" Jay argued, rising from his seat, "You know that if she remembers, then she'll kick you to the curb like she did years ago."

"Let's go Erin," Bunny began pulling her daughter away, "Dr. Brooks gave you the green light. We're going to get you discharged, and then you're coming home with me. Do you remember Landon? He's back, and he asked about you."  
Halstead reached out for his wife's other arm, "She's not going with you Bunny."  
"Let her go Jay." Bunny yanked her daughter's arm.

"STOP!" Erin screamed, yanking herself free, "Please just stop!"

She looked up and saw Voight and Burgess hurry over. As they approached her, she took a quick step back. Lindsay placed her hands against her forehead, "I need to think." She glanced around at the worried faces, "Mom, how is Landon doing?"

"Seriously," Jay glanced at his wife confusedly, "that's the first thing you think to ask? Who the hell is Landon?"

Bunny took another hold of her daughter's hand, "He's Erin's ex-boyfriend. He was a great boyfriend, wasn't he baby?" She brushed the few hairs off of her daughter's forehead, "He treated you good, and he respected the relationship that we share. Now let's go home, and I'll call him to come over."

Halstead shook his head, and reached out for Erin's hand, "Wait. Er, come home with me. If you want to try to get your memories back, we're your best option. If you had your memories, you wouldn't even think to consider leaving with your mom."

"But…" Erin's voice lowered as she took in the three detectives' faces, "I don't know any of you." She pulled her hand out of his, "I don't even know if we were really in love. I don't know anything about us."

"We're married," he reminded.

"So," Erin shrugged her shoulders, "a lot of things can explain that."

"What about this?" Kim stepped forward, and held her cell phone out, "you left me a voice mail the day before your anniversary. I couldn't bring myself to delete if after the accident. If you just give us a minute, and listen to this message, you'll hear your own voice and how much you love your husband."

Erin gave each person a glance, as her hand slowly reached out for the phone. She pressed the cell against her ear and silently listened to her own voice as it professed the undying love she held for her husband of four years. She loved him to the moon and back. She wanted to spend the rest of her life with him. She wanted a family with him. She wanted Burgess to answer the phone so she could share some girl-talk with her about her husband. If she didn't hear the message for herself, she wouldn't have believed it. Her hand trembled as she pulled the phone away from her ear, "I don't…I don't know."

"You deserve to have your memories back," Voight decided to finally speak up. He kept quiet because he didn't want to scare her away. He remembered what she thought of him before he gave her his card and she moved in. Hank wanted to tread lightly on water out of fear that she'll never come back to him, to all of them. Voight stepped forward, tilted his head and gave her, his daughter, his signature grin, "You owe it to yourself to honor and respect the choices you have made in the last few years. You chose to marry Halstead. You were happy with him. You should go with him so you can see why."

Lindsay easily pulled her arm out of her mother's hold. She watched Bunny fearfully watch her daughter take a step towards Halstead, "Okay, I'll go with you, but I don't want you to pressure me into remembering. If I remember anything, then that's great. If I don't, then it wasn't meant to be."  
"Sweetie, do you really think this is a good idea?" Bunny stepped forward and tried to block her daughter.  
"I don't know," Lindsay's shoulders shrugged, "I always have you to fall back on if things don't work out."

Bunny nodded her head, and pressed a kiss against her daughter's cheek, "Landon's going to continue asking about you. I'll tell him you're doing fine, okay sweetie."

Erin pulled away from her mother, and turned to face her husband. She glanced down at her hospital gown and frowned, "Before I check out, can I change my clothes first?"

Kim grinned, "I had a feeling you would want to. I stopped pass your place and grabbed an outfit for you. It's in your room."  
"Thank you."  
"That's what best friends are for," Kim looped her arm through Erin's and led her to her room.

Bunny crossed her arms and turned to face Voight and Halstead. Once she heard the cafeteria door shut, the older Lindsay approached Hank, "Just what do you think you're doing?"  
"What do you mean?" Hank shouted, struggling to withhold his anger, "We're not the ones feeding into a lie. You and Erin haven't spoken to each other in five years! I don't know what you did to make that happen, but I know you did something bad because Erin doesn't just forget about family."

"This is our second chance Hank."

"That may be true," Voight nodded, "but let me give you a warning, if you continue to take advantage of her memory loss, you're going to have me to worry about. Am I making myself clear?"


	5. The Surprise

Jay lifted Erin's overnight duffle bag before leading his wife out of her hospital room. Voight and Burgess surrounded Lindsay closely as the four walked towards the indoor parking garage. Halstead remained near his wife, and at every turn and step, he watched her closely. After the accident, he vowed to himself that he would never let her get hurt again. If it meant watching his and her surroundings much more carefully, then he had to do what must be done.

"Watch your step," Jay reached out for her hand in order to help her step off the last stair.

She pulled away from him, "I'm not a child."

"I know," Halstead nodded, shoving his hands into his pocket, "I just wanted to make sure that you're safe."

"If this is how me living with you is going to be, I'd rather go live with my mom."

"No," he shook his head, and pulled out his keys, "I'll stop…at least I'll try to. You were in a coma for two months. You got to work with me here Er. I promise to try and not hover."

Lindsay approached her husband, and stared into his desperate eyes. She could tell that he wanted her to leave with him. He wanted her home. He wanted his wife back, and while Erin wished she could get her memories back, she knew it wasn't realistic. She had to spend her future with a stranger. The young married woman set her hand upon her husband's shoulders, "You're going to try. I'm willing to accept that."

Voight grinned as he watched the couple continue on. The sergeant made sure to keep a careful distance. He didn't want to overwhelm Erin, especially since her last memory of him was of him locking her up. Lindsay currently believed that she and Voight weren't on good terms, while his visits and stories of her life proved differently.

Hank pulled out his keys, "I'm parked over there."

"Are you going to our house?" Jay stopped briefly, forcing Erin to halt as well. She didn't know where he parked and what their car looked like. She was just a woman standing in a parking lot surrounded by cars that could have all belonged to her.

"I'm heading to the station. I want to follow up on a lead into the hit and run driver." At the saddened look on Erin's face, Hank stepped towards her, "Kid, if you knew me, you wouldn't be surprised. I'm not one to rest when someone hurts my family. And I know you don't remember," He placed his hands upon her shoulders, "but we're family. A coward hit Jay's car, saw what he did to you and Halstead, and ran. For the first month of your coma, I couldn't focus. It's month two since the accident, and I'm behind. I need to follow up on as many leads as I can before he gets away." The young woman gave him a silent nod of her head, "I want to hug you. Mind if I hug you Erin?"

Lindsay took a glimpse towards Burgess. Her 'best friend' as she was told, nodded her head encouragingly. She took a peek towards her husband, and he gave her an equal reassuring nod of his head. While she didn't know them, every part of her trusted them for some reason. Erin faced Voight and gave him a smile, "Sure." As his arms wrapped around her, her arms lay limp against her sides, "Do we do this on the regular?"

"Only when it's needed," his raspy voice said in her ear, "I'll call you."

She nodded as the hug ended.

"Take care of her."

"Of course."

Voight took one last glimpse at Lindsay before heading into the direction of his car. Burgess turned to face her friends, as her hand rumbled around inside of her purse, "I'm going to head to your house. I parked on the other side, and I'll meet you guys there." Kim watched her friend shift uncomfortably, "Well, only if you want me to Erin. I won't come if you're not comfortable just yet."

"No," Erin shook her head, "I want you to come."

Burgess smiled in relief, "Good. I'll be there." She reached out her hand, and when Lindsay stepped away unknowingly, Kim pulled her hand back, "I'll just see you guys at the house."

Erin watched as her friend took off in the direction of her car. Every part of Erin felt bad. She could see the hurt clearly plastered along her friend's face. Kim just wanted her best friend back, and while Lindsay knew that, it was hard. According to her memories, they weren't friends. She didn't even know her.

"Earth to Erin," Halstead waved his hand in front of her face, "We're right here," He held the keys out, and with a small smile, he placed them into the center of her hand.

"Why are you giving me these?" She held the keys back out.

"Don't you want to drive?" He took a hold of the keychain when her head shook.

"I won't know where to go," She answered confusedly, as he unlocked the doors, "I won't know where I'm driving to, and I feel much more comfortable having you drive."

"I can tell you where to go." He tried once again, but she wasn't having it. Instead of responding, he watched as his wife silently hopped into the passenger seat of the vehicle.

Jay watched her from outside of the car. He saw the panicked look on her face as she buckled herself safely into the seat. As he opened the driver's side door, he already knew the ride was going to feel weird. Erin always argued with him over driving. It was odd for her to just push for him to drive. Her actions just further proved to him that his wife was gone.

"Want to listen to some music?" He started the car, and sighed to himself when she shook her head no, "Want to talk?"

"I actually want to just look at the scenery." She shifted her body in order to stare out of the side window, "We have all the time to talk," she added when she noticed the pout stretch along his face, "Who knows? Maybe seeing the view will bring some type of memory back."

During the ten minute car ride, they both said nothing. The first time that Erin looked straight out of the windshield window was when Halstead parked the car. They were finally home…together. Burgess was already here, and she was sitting in her parked car, waiting for them to show up. Lindsay stepped out of the car, and looked forward at the condo, "We live here?"

"Yes," Jay nodded. He pulled out his keys and led her up the front stairs. Halstead inserted the key into the bottom lock, "When we get inside, I'll give you a tour of the house." He unlocked the bottom lock, before placing the second key into the top lock, "Erin Hal…I mean Lindsay, I would like to welcome you home." He pushed open the door, and allowed for his wife to step inside of their darkened house first.

Before he could enter after Burgess, their home was illuminated by light, and their mutual friends jumped out while yelling a loud and happy 'welcome back.' Out of shock and worry, Jay's eyes immediately fell upon his wife. He saw her shoulders raise and stiffen out of fright, and she turned towards the closed door to the right.

"You look good Erin," Ruzek spoke up, raising his glass of champagne into the air, "Glad you're home, and I personally cannot wait for you to return to work."

Atwater nudged Ruzek's stomach before stepping forward, "We're sorry about your memory. I'm sure Voight isn't expecting you to return any time soon, so take your time and get better. I'm sure me and Burgess can handle Ruzek and Halstead until you return."

"Erin," Annie stepped forward.

His overwhelmed wife opened the first closed door she spotted, stepped inside, and closed it behind her. As a result, everyone quieted down from her shocking reaction. Jay shared a quiet look with Burgess and she understood everything the look said, without having to verbally say anything.

"Everyone, let's go out into the backyard." She directed the crowd of friends.

Jay heard the backdoor open, and a few seconds later it closed. The house was silent because everyone that brought noise was currently outside. Halstead approached the door, and wiggled the doorknob, "Erin, you're in the closet."

"I don't care," her voice stumbled as it cracked.

Halstead wiggled the locked door again, "Can you open the door?"

The darkness of the closet swallowed her whole, "No." After pushing the coats and jackets to the side, she took a seat at the corner of the closet, "I want everyone gone Jay. Why would you do that? It was already hard enough to come home to a strange apartment with a stranger…and now you throw in a dozen strangers! Get them out of here." He could hear the deep and panicky breaths she was struggling to take from the other side of the door.

The sound of her frightened voice and her shaky breathing fueled him. He backed away from the closet and made his way towards the backdoor. Everyone was outside worriedly talking amongst themselves about his wife.

"I need everyone to leave."

Ruzek stepped forward, "Man, I didn't think she would react that way."

"You didn't think at all," Burgess snapped, turning to face her husband, "You should have at least consulted with me or Jay to make sure that she was in the right state of mind for this!"

"I already told you I was sorry."

"How is she?" Kim stepped forward, ignoring her husband's apology.

"She's locked in the closet. She won't come out until everyone's gone."

Burgess pats her friend's shoulder, "I'll get everyone out, and you keep me updated."

Jay smiled appreciatively at his wife's best friend. Since joining the force, Burgess and Lindsay had always been close, since both were the only two females under Voight. The longer they worked together, the closer they had grown. They were both each other's maid of honors in their weddings, and any special events, sad occasions or happy moments; they always stood by each other's side.

"Before I leave," Annie stepped forward, "I just want you to tell Erin that I'm still here. I know she's lost her memory, but she should still remember me. And it may be comforting for her to have someone in her life right now that was in her life back then."

"Thanks Annie," Jay whispered, "I'll keep that in mind."

She waves and nods as she made her way through the crowd. She had a teenager to get home to.

Halstead left Burgess in the backyard out of trust that she was going to be able to get everyone to leave as quickly and quietly as possible. Jay entered his home, and noticed the closet door still closed. He could hear quiet grunts echoing from inside the closet as he approached, "Erin, everyone's leaving. You can come on out."

"I'm really trying here Jay," Erin murmured, crawling to the closed door. She pressed her hand against the wooden doorway, and allowed for it to remain close, "I just…I just have to take one step at a time. This is already a big deal that I chose to come home with you, and not my mother! That's something! Don't push me to remember! Don't push me at all!"

"I didn't know. Adam planned the whole thing."

"Adam," she repeated, scrunching her brows, "Who the hell is Adam?"

"That's Ruzek. It's Kim's husband. He's a goofball. We all work together, and you two always have witty spats. He did it out of love. He did it because he cares about you, and you're his friend. He didn't mean any harm by it."

Erin nodded her head, even though Jay couldn't see her. She took a glance around the dark closet and couldn't make anything out. She wanted to give the people enough time to leave. Even though she couldn't remember them, they were close to her at one point, and she didn't want them to see her like this. Lindsay rose to her feet, "I saw Annie. Even though she's much older, I would recognize her anywhere."

"She wants to see you," Jay responded, jiggling the handle of the knob. The closet was still locked. "Not today, of course, but one day. You have her number in your phone…you can call her up and visit, and you'll be able to see Travis too."

"Travis, who's he?"

Halstead had completely forgotten. Annie didn't get pregnant until she was fifteen. From Erin's last memory, Travis didn't exist yet.

"He's Annie's kid…well; he's not really a kid anymore. He's almost legal," Jay smirks, thinking of the goofball that is Annie's son, "he's cool, and you love him to death."

Jay took in the silence of the house. He didn't hear any more cars starting up and pulling away. He didn't hear any talking or laughing. Erin and Jay were truly alone. He knocked gently on the door, "Er, everyone's gone. You can come on out."

"How many rooms do we have in this house?"

"Two," he answered confusedly.

Jay heard the closet unlock, and before it opened, she asked another question, "which one am I sleeping in?" Halstead reached out his hand and slowly opened the door. His eyes fell and met her calm orbs, "You can sleep in whichever room you like." His hand extended towards her, "Now, how about that tour?"

"Only if you promise no more surprises…"

"No more surprises," he smiled as she nervously placed her hand within his.


	6. The Stories

Erin awoke to the comfort of the king sized bed and the warm comforter enveloping her body. She stretched her arms and legs before tossing the covers off of her body. While it was the first night she's spent in her home, she still remembered nothing. Without the added stress of remembering, she approached the mirror hanging on the wall above the dresser.

Lindsay smiled at her reflection, as she took in her appearance. Her face looked tired, and she gently traced the small cuts along her forehead. As she lowered her hands, her eyes spot italicized writing against the side of her finger. It was a tattoo. She squints her eyes in order to read the writing better, "Jay." As the name registers in her mind, her eyes expand two times larger. Why would she get his name tattooed on her? She wasn't one of those girls. She vowed to never get anyone's name tattooed on her body.

As the bedroom door opens, a yawning Halstead enters. He runs his free hand over his exposed chest as his other hand covers his opened and yawning mouth. He rubs against his eyes, and takes in the room, "Oh," Erin jumps at his words, "I'm sorry. I completely forgot." Jay stretched his hand out and grabbed the throw blanket on top of their bedroom couch, "You have to know I didn't do this on purpose."

Instead of the annoyed response he had expected, it never came. In its place was a small chuckle. She covered her face and released a small laugh that was just music to Jay's ears.

"What's funny?" he set the blanket back down.

Erin watched him grab a shirt out of the dresser, "You're funny when you're flustered."

"Thanks I guess," he smiles as he pulls the t-shirt over his head.

Lindsay crawled onto the bed, and sat upon her knees. She felt comfortable. She was relaxed. Even though she didn't remember Jay, her body and her mind was telling her to trust him. She couldn't see herself being romantically involved with him –at least not now- but she could see him as a potential friend.

"What are we doing today?"

He was surprised. He thought he would have had to urge her to spend time with him, but she was actually taking the initiative.

"Unfortunately, I have to work today," as Jay spoke, he noticed the smile on her face falter, "but, I'm going to make it up to you. I'm in the process of making breakfast."

She crawled off of the bed, "I just got out of the hospital. I'm sure Voight will understand if you call in sick."

"He would, but his boss wouldn't. I already used up all of my vacation days these last two months."

Her fingers ran through her hair, "Sorry about that."

"Don't apologize. It's not your fault."

The smell of breakfast began to fill up their home, "Are you making breakfast?" Erin's eyes are wide as she inhales the scent of food, "I hope you're making bacon." He takes her hand and leads her out of their bedroom and down the stairs, "You probably don't remember this, but before the accident, you were trying to go on a diet." The two entered the kitchen, and he released her hand. Halstead walked over to the cooking breakfast and flipped the pancakes.

"Forget the diet," she pushed herself up onto the counter, "because apparently, I already did."

He chuckled to himself, "That's my girl…I was hoping you would say that," he pointed over to the plate beside him, "Because I had obviously cooked too much." Jay loves the look on her face as she eyes the sizeable amount of bacon."

Halstead set the spatula down, as he increased the temperature on the stove. She watched him cook and it seemed natural. He was at home, and she felt content. No part of Erin wanted to leave even though her surroundings were foreign to her. The young detective adjusted herself on the counter, as she watched Jay nibble on an extra piece of bacon.  
"Okay, so you're my partner," she spoke and watched as he nodded along, "…I'm still in shock about that. It's just weird, you know? The life I lived wasn't the life of a future cop."

"Yeah, well that's your past. Now…now you're an amazing detective," He inched himself towards her, "and without you, we wouldn't have put away so many bad guys. You're an asset to our team, and without you, our unit would be incomplete."

Jay didn't want to push her too much, and therefore, he stepped back. He had forgotten for a quick second, and he didn't want to force himself and memories upon his wife, especially since she was against the idea of being forced to remember. He heard the food sizzling in the pan, and he rushed over to the pancakes in order to flip them once more.  
"Would you want to come into work with me today?" Jay set the spatula down, and turned to face his wife once more, "You can see how it is being a cop. It may help to remind you of your life before the…before the accident." He stumbled over his words.

She hopped off of the counter, "I'm not ready yet. If I go into work with you, everyone will hover. They'll constantly ask how I'm doing, and I won't catch a break. I'm not ready for any of that…and besides, my last memory involving the cops wasn't a pleasant one."

"…that's completely understandable."

"Just go to work, and try not to worry about me."

He smirks, "That's impossible."

Usually Halstead wasn't one to make breakfast, but it was a special occasion and he was trying to impress his wife. The table was set; he pulled the chair out for her, and made her plate. Breakfast consisted of pancakes, eggs, bacon and toast. After pouring her a glass of orange juice, he took a seat across from her, "Is this normal?" she took a bite of her meal, "Do you always make me breakfast?"

"No," he laughed, shaking his head, "only on special occasions."

"What's the special occasion today?"

"…you're home."

Quietness ensued. The two ate in silence. Neither knew what to say. They didn't want to make breakfast awkward, but the silence was doing just that. Erin poured syrup over her pancakes, "I've been thinking about this all night…please explain Voight to me."

"He and his wife took you in as a child."

"No," Erin shook her head while cutting up her pancakes, "My mom raised me."

"…not the entire time."

"You said that I haven't spoken to my mom in years," her voice remained low as she fought back the urge to stop talking, "Why?"

"You never told me."

"You're my husband, though. Shouldn't you know?"

He took a sip of juice, "You wouldn't say. I respected that."

Erin was full. She set the fork and knife down upon her empty plate. Jay finished a few minutes before her, but he didn't leave the table. He stayed and waited until she was done. As he stood up to clear the table, she rose to help, "I have a tattoo."

His eyes glanced down to her hand, "I have one too." Lindsay's eyes fell upon his, and on the same finger rested her name, "We did it for our first anniversary."

"I'm not the type of person to get a guy's name tatted on her."

"Neither of us were," he responded, taking her empty plate from her hold, "…that was until we met each other."

Eyes fell upon eyes. She was frozen in place. He stood still, holding dirty dishes ready to be washed. At the clearing of Erin's voice, he broke eye contact, "I'm sorry Jay. I really am. I'll remember eventually."

"I know you will," he extends his hand and lightly squeezes her shoulder.

The two share eye contact and neither were willing to break from it. Erin notices the sparkle in her husband's eye every time he looked at her. And now she can't help the smile tugging at her lips, "What time do you start work?"

"Oh shit," Halstead pulls away after glancing at the kitchen clock, "I'm late."

"Voight will probably go easy on you, right?"

Jay laughs as he races upstairs into their bedroom, "Voight doesn't believe in excuses." Within seconds, he's back downstairs, shoving his feet into his shoes, "Hopefully he cuts me a little slack considering…you know, your condition, but I wouldn't count on it."

"Tell him that I needed you; that should do the trick."

Jay smiled at the worried expression on her face. She was concerned for him…and while he knew that she had no reason to be, his smile of assurance didn't comfort her. He reached into the coat closet and grabbed his leather jacket, "I won't get fired. If anything, he'll just lecture me or give me a warning. Voight would never fire me." Erin seems to take his word for it. She gives him a dimpled grin and walks him to the door, "I have to admit. I'm nervous about leaving you."

Her hand pats his back in a friendly manner, "I'll be fine."

"Are you sure?"

"…positive."

Erin opens the door for her husband, "Make sure you lock the door behind me."

"Yes dad," she jokes, saluting towards him as he left. Jay chuckled as he walked down the porch stairs. He loved the fact that Lindsay felt comfortable enough to smile, ask questions and joke around with him. While the two only seemed to be friendly acquaintances, he knew eventually, if he played his cards right, they would blossom into something more. If he helps her, day by day, she'll start to remember…she has to for her sake...and his. Seeing her, not being able to touch her, kiss her, flirt with her and reminisce about the old days killed him…and it's only been a few days. He couldn't imagine if this were to be permanent.

Lindsay does as she's told. She closes the door and locks all three locks. The young detective turned around and pressed her back against the bolted door, "What to do?" She pushes off of the door, and begins roaming the house. Her feet travels upon the elongated hallway, aligned with photos. There were photos of her, Voight, Camille and Justin…she had wondered where Camille and Justin were and what exactly they are both up to. Other photos consisted of her and Jay with various friends and family members. The largest photo in the hall was of her and Halstead, her husband, on their wedding day. She could tell from the beautiful wedding dress that framed her figure and the matching tux that Jay wore. The way they looked at each other, she envied that…and she wanted it back.

As minutes passed, she worked up the strength to pull her eyes away from the remaining photos. She did notice how her mother was not in one of them. Lindsay needed to pass the time, at least until Halstead got off of work. She approached the bookshelf in the living room, and scanned the various rows of novels, until her eyes landed upon a DVD case. The writing on it was a date, which was in accordance to their wedding day. Erin pulled the DVD out of its case and raced over to place it into the player connected to the television.

Jay checks into work, and begins treading up the stairs. From the moment he pulled out of the parking lot, he wanted to go back to Erin. He didn't want to leave her just yet. It hadn't even been 24 hours since she woke up. "Jay," he turns at the sound of his name being called. Burgess is at the bottom of the stairs, and begins climbing them, two at a time, "How is she? How is Erin? Did she sleep through the night? Is she okay? Is she still upset about last night?"

"Oh, and I'm sorry about last night," Ruzek appears, scratching the back of his head, nervously, "I wasn't thinking…as I'm well aware you were aware of. It came from a good place. Let Er know that, okay? I felt really bad. Ask Kim, I hardly got any sleep last night because of it."

Before Jay could respond to either of them, Voight exited his office. He waved for Officer Burgess and his two detectives to join him and the rest of the team in his office, "Okay," he said as Halstead closed the door behind him, "Last night, after twisting a few arms, I managed to get the traffic footage, and then early this morning I started reviewing it." He turned his laptop around to show his team, "I don't know who he is…yet, but I'll find out. Here, I'll show you."

"Sir, have you gotten any sleep?" Jay pulled up a seat.

"I'll sleep after we catch this bastard," Voight plays the video in slow motion, "here's you and Erin," Hank points out their car as it stops. The feed on the video is in black and white, and is not fully clear, but the team can make out the figures just enough to recognize their colleagues, "Here's the hit," Voight temporarily turns away at the sight of Lindsay flying through the windshield of the car, "And that's the guy."

Jay reopened his eyes after his wife made impact. He couldn't stand to watch that scene either, however when Voight pointed out the man exiting his vehicle, it pulled his attention back to the screen, "Wait," Halstead stood up, "He got out of the car. He saw what he did to us…and he still left. He left us there. He left her there. He didn't even call for help!"

"I'm going to give the footage to Mouse and see if he can get anything from it."

Olinsky watches as Voight shuts the laptop, "He seemed to run from the scene pretty fast. Do you think he was drinking? Maybe that's why he left the scene."

"I don't know, but whatever reason, I don't care." Hank lifted his laptop, but before he exited his office, he took a quick glance at Jay, "Hey, how's Erin? How was her first night at home?"

"Surprisingly…better than expected."

Erin sat, knees to her chest, in the living room of her house. She occasionally wiped her eyes as she watched the remaining seconds of her wedding play out across the screen. She looked so happy, happier than she's ever remembered. And before the video comes to an end, she hears the words of her husband say to her then…and now, "…and no matter what happens, we'll always find our way to one another."

Every fiber of her being is terrified. She completely committed herself to someone who was once the love of her life, and is now currently, a forgotten memory. She felt the pressure of remembering from everyone. And while the curiosity pushed her to watch her wedding video, she immediately started to regret it. Erin rose to her feet, and went upstairs to get dressed. She needed to go outside, walk around and clear her mind. She needed to get herself together and figure out what to do. Erin needed to get her life in order right away.


	7. The Invitation

Erin zips her leather jacket up after closing the door behind her. The afternoon breeze blew through her hair as she stepped down the porch stairs. Lindsay had no idea what she wanted to do or where she wanted to go, and therefore, she just walked. She walked down the street, being mindful to stay as far to the side of the road so she wouldn't get hit. Apparently, the block didn't have sidewalks to keep pedestrians off of the road.

Lindsay took in the row of houses, the graffiti covered buildings, the children playing and the constant sound of sirens. This was city living at its best. A ball rolled in front of her, and bounced against her legs, "I got it," Erin lifted the red ball, "Here you go," she handed it back over to the kid.

"Thank you." The child smiled, taking a hold of her ball.

Erin focused forward and continued her walk. Eventually, she was off of her street. The houses gone, the children gone, however the graffiti and sounds of sirens were still present. She walked over railroad tracks, and continued her quest in clearing her mind, maybe jogging a memory or two. Whatever happens, it'll be worth it…even if she remembers nothing. The fresh air was good for her. The sightseeing was a plus.

Her feet eventually grew tired, and before she realized how far she had walked, she was near a business district. Erin pats down upon her pockets, and realized that she didn't have her cell. She must have forgotten it at home.  
"Excuse me," she tapped the nearest stranger, "do you mind giving me the time?"

He glanced down at his watch, "It's twenty after four."

"Thank you," she watched him walk away. The business district was thirty minutes within walking distance.

Lindsay stood, surrounded by large buildings and many people. She felt overwhelmed. Her heart raced as she scanned for some sort of familiarity. A business caught her eye. It seemed oddly familiar. She didn't fight her instinct, and chose to walk into it.

"Hey Erin," a woman behind the bar greets her.

Erin waved cautiously, "Hi."

"Do you want your usual?" Dawson asked, clearing off the bar. Molly's was beginning to pick up, and Gaby sent a customer to a booth in order to clear a stool for Lindsay. Once the seat was offered, Erin took it. Dawson pushed a glass of her usual order in front of her, "Enjoy."

"Hey, sorry if this comes off as a little rude, but, who are you?"

Dawson laughs to herself, "I'm Gabriella," she extends her hand and Erin shakes it, "I'm a firefighter, and a bartender as you can see. I'm also Antonio's sister."

"Who's Antonio?"

"I completely forgot about the accident. He's my brother, and he also works with you. He's a part of the Intelligence Unit under Voight." Dawson wiped against the bar top, "and that drink is on the house. You deserve it."

Erin smiled in gratitude, "Thanks," she lifted the drink and gulped it down.

Once Erin finished her beverage, she turned down Dawson's offering of a refill. She came here, and she had to be clear minded enough to get back home. Erin took in her surroundings, and some faces seemed oddly familiar, however she could put no name to them. She felt safe in this establishment. She felt welcomed…and she felt somewhat at home. The ambiance in the bar was informal and it felt oddly like home. The laughter of the people around her, the loud talking and the jokes sparked a feeling inside of her that she was accustomed to. Just like her home, this place offered a welcoming feeling that relaxed her subconscious.

Jay unlocked the front door, and pushed it open, "Erin," he tossed his keys into the bowl to the left of the door, "I'm home," in his hands he held flowers and takeout, "I brought dinner." He hears no response. The house is overwhelmed by total darkness. He sets the flowers down as he hits the light switch, "Lindsay!" No response.

He doesn't want to freak out, but every part of him is pushing him to lose it. He sets the bag of dinner down onto the floor as he begins searching their home. She wasn't in the basement or the backyard. The closet was empty and so were the bathrooms. The kitchen and living room were vacant, and that left the bedrooms. Halstead had his fingers crossed as he walked up the stairs. There was still a chance that she fell asleep, but at the sight of two unoccupied bedrooms, he knew that it wasn't true.

Halstead had no idea where his wife was. She was obviously not home, and she didn't have a car to drive. She was a healing woman out in one of the biggest cities in the United States. Jay's first instinct is to call her, however at the ring blaring from downstairs; he knew she left her phone. He began pacing into the hardwood floor of the upstairs hallway. Where could she have gone? She has no memory.

Jay runs down the stairs, and opens the front door. He steps outside, ignores the setting sun as he starts roaming around the neighborhood. She had to be around here, somewhere.

Erin steps outside of Molly's and notices the sun gone and in its place are the moon and stars. She had stayed in Molly's for around two hours, and she didn't even notice. Her clothes were stained with alcohol that some of the people in the overcrowded establishment accidentally spilled on her. It was night time and Jay was most likely home. She felt bad because she knew he was probably freaking out, and she had no way of getting into contact with him.

Lindsay started walking, but nothing seemed familiar to her. She didn't know how to get home. The young detective was lost. As the Chicago nightlife picked up, she felt even more overwhelmed by the number of people around her. She saw a woman, standing alone, "Excuse me," the lady turned to face the young detective, "if it's not too much to ask, can I use your cell phone? I'm lost. I have no idea where I am…and I really need to call someone to come get me."

"Say no more," the kind older woman handed over her cell.

Erin held the device in her hand, and her fingers hovered over the screen, however, she couldn't recall Jay's number. She didn't know Voight's number either…or Kim's. She didn't know any of their numbers because they were already programmed into her phone. Lindsay swallowed hard and dialed the only number she knew, praying that it was still in service.

"I didn't find her," Burgess steps into the house. Her face is flushed from the cold night's temperature, and she was in her car most of the time, "She had to have walked somewhere, so she couldn't have gone far. Maybe she went to a neighbor's house?"

"I knocked on everyone's door. No one has seen her." Jay flopped down onto the couch and covered his face, "I lost my wife."

Burgess set her hand upon his shoulder, "No you didn't. Voight is still out there looking and you know he's not one to give up."

"Yeah man," Ruzek agreed, taking a seat beside his friend, "If anyone's going to find her, it'll be Voight. He would never give up."

"Voight shouldn't have to find her. She's my wife! I should know where she is. I should be able to locate her…not him."

Once Voight was mentioned, the front door opened. Burgess, Ruzek and Halstead rushed over to him, and noticed the shaking of his head. He was alone. He didn't find her either. Jay grew even more concerned. What if something had happened to her? She was gone, as far as he knows, for more than two hours. He didn't know what time she left the house. It was approaching seven at night and he still had no word on his wife.

"We're going to find her. I'll call in a-" Voight's words are interrupted by the opening and closing of the front door. The four worried adults looked over to see Erin walking inside. A large smile was plastered on her face as she closed and locked the door behind her.

"What? Where have you been?" Jay rushes over to his wife. He couldn't help but to pull her into his arms and place a kiss against the side of her head.

Lindsay steps back immediately. She wasn't at that level yet, and she wasn't prepared for it. Jay wanted to apologize at the sight of fear in her eyes, but he was just too relieved that she was okay. If she wasn't so far away from him, he would have pulled her back into his arms. He loved her…no matter if she remembered or not, that wasn't going to change.

"My mom invited us to dinner," she announced, unzipping her jacket, "…she invited all of you too." She pointed towards Voight, Ruzek and Burgess. Each person looking shocked at the invitation offered. Bunny must really have been trying to keep up an 'act' in front of Erin because inviting them to anything was definitely not like her.

"What are you wearing?" Voight took in her dress.

With all that has been going on, Halstead completely overlooked her wardrobe. They have been married for years, and he has never seen that dress. She doesn't own clothing like that. The Erin he married would never wear something so…so skimpy.

"Oh this," Erin twirled around in the tight dress. She looked as if she could barely breathe in it, "how does it look?"

Ruzek nods his head, "Nice." Burgess elbows him, "Ow Kim, what was that for?"

Halstead gave his closest friend a look. A warning look, but it was nothing compared to the face Voight was giving him. Adam held his hands up in the air, "We don't want to tear down her self-esteem. We should still compliment her to keep her confident."

"Her confidence is the last thing we're worrying about right now," Burgess muttered, grabbing her husband's arm, "We're actually going to go. It seems Adam always has a way to put his foot in his mouth. We won't be able to make dinner tonight Erin."

"Oh, well maybe next time…"

Kim smiles at her friend, "Of course." She turns to her husband and pushes him forward, "Alright, let's get home."

Once the front door closed, Erin locked it before turning back to face her husband and…whoever Voight was to her. She didn't know what to call him. Should she call him boss? Or dad? Or…friend? She didn't know and she was too confused to try and figure it out.

"Where did you get that dress?"

"I went to Molly's today," Erin started to explain, kicking off her shoes, "and some guy spilled his drink on my clothes. I forgot how to get home, and I left my cell. The only number I knew and remembered was my mom's cell. I called her. She bought me this dress and had me change before she dropped me off." Erin shrugs her shoulders, "It was sweet of her. And then she invited us to dinner."

Jay pointed towards the bag of takeout, "I brought dinner home."

"I really want to go." Lindsay pleaded, she stepped towards her husband, and gave him an appealing smirk, "We might not have this chance again…and I know you said my mother and I haven't spoken in years, but maybe this is my second chance with her. Maybe this is her second chance too? Please Jay. I want to go, and I want you and Voight to come too."

Halstead wanted to say no. He wanted to turn down the offer because he knew Bunny. He knew she always had a way of hurting Erin, and that it would happen eventually, however he knew that Lindsay would have to figure that out for herself. Right now, she was vulnerable. She wanted to believe everything her mother said, and he couldn't blame her. She wanted to believe her mother had turned over a new leaf, however everyone else knew that wasn't true. Bunny was incapable of changing. Jay had to allow his wife to learn that for herself…and he hated it. If he tried to get involved, he could possibly lose Erin. He had to play this smart. This was his marriage that could be impacted.

"I'll go."

Voight knew what Jay was thinking. He read the look on his face, and while he hated it too, he was pushed to agree, "I will too."

"Oh good," Erin was excited and handed her husband a small piece of paper, "this is the diner we're eating at. Let's go." She stuck her feet back into her shoes, grabbed Halstead's arm and waved for Voight to follow them out of the door.

The ride to the diner was longer than expected for Halstead and Voight, but for Erin it felt short. She stared out of the window the entire time, taking in her surroundings, trying to see if she remembered something, but nothing came to her. However, once the car pulled up to the small diner, a genuine smile stretched across her face. She recognized it.

"I know this place," she steps out of the car, and was at a temporary loss for words, "I used to come here all of the time when I was a kid. I came here one time," she turned to face Voight, "with you." Hank smiled and nodded at the memory. Erin walked slowly up to the diner's neon sign, "Actually, I came here with you, a lot. Was it before or after you took me in?"

"…a little bit of both," he shrugs in response.

"I hope I remember. I feel like we had good times here."

Hank couldn't help but smile. They were off to a good start. She actually looked at him with happiness in her eyes. From the moment she woke up, any time she looked at him, she was always reserved and a little scared. This was the one time he saw the old strong, happy and confident Erin…at least when it came to being around him. Halstead held open the diner door, and when Lindsay walked inside her smile dropped, "This isn't familiar."

"It got renovated a few years ago." Voight had forgotten that while the outside was the same, the inside looked completely different.

"Erin," her mother sticks her hand in the air, and waves them over.

The three approach the booth, and that was when Hank and Jay took in the added people. It wasn't just a dinner with them and Bunny. It was a dinner with them, Bunny, Teddy, Annie…and Landon. Erin slid in beside Landon, and Jay was forced to take the seat beside Annie and across from Bunny. He was diagonal to his wife, and it pained him to see the look on her face and the smile in her eyes. She was genuinely happy. He got a spark of that this morning, but with Landon so close, any thought of her husband was pushed out of her mind.


	8. The Dinner

For an hour, Jay Halstead was forced to watch his wife laugh, smile and remember her past memories with Bunny and Landon. He would give anything to share that moment with her. Jay wanted her to remember her life with him, but she hardly got the opportunity. Bunny would constantly bring up memories that she remembered…there was nothing past fourteen that she brought forth. Bunny steered clear of any bad memories, especially whatever incident caused for Lindsay to cut her mother off completely.

For a moment, Voight felt good. The moment they pulled into the parking lot, he thought memories of him would flood back; unfortunately they stopped completely the moment they walked in. The alterations of the diner and the fact that Bunny refused to give anyone a chance to speak pushed any and all thoughts of him and Jay to the back of her mind.  
"I know you probably don't remember because of the accident," Annie brought up, interjecting herself into Bunny, Landon and Erin's conversation, "but I'm getting married, and it's not to Charlie," Annie cracked a smile, however Erin didn't get the joke, so Annie chose to continue, "anyway, before the accident you agreed to be my maid of honor. I want you to know that I understand if you want to-"  
"I'll do it," Lindsay interrupted.

Her best friend was getting married, and regardless of whether or not she had her memories, she wanted to be a part of it. She wanted to create new, good memories. Before Erin could press on for more wedding information, Landon leaned over and whispered words into her ear. She listened to him intently as she watched the waitress clear their empty plates from the table. Lindsay glances at Jay, but immediately pulls her eyes away when eye contact was made. She was acting like a completely different person. He hardly recognized her anymore. She was acting giddy and bashful. Landon may have been flirting with her, but she was definitely being receptive to it.

Erin cleared her throat, and adjusted her body in the seat as Landon pulled away. She blushed lightly, and glanced down. Halstead cleared his throat, pulling in the attention of Erin and Landon. "So Jay," Lindsay smiled, giving him an ounce of attention, "tell me about your family."  
"My parents are dead," he shrugs it off, eyeing Landon irritatingly, "and my brother's a doctor at Chicago Med. You actually met him at the hospital."  
"Erin," Landon cleared his throat in order to gain her attention before she could respond to her husband, "Want to order dessert?" He gave her a wide grin, "My treat."  
Lindsay thought to herself at the idea of free dessert. The dimples on her cheeks grew with the spreading smile on her face, "Yes."  
"We can split it," he threw his hand into the air and waved for the waitress' attention.  
Jay shook his head, "Nah, I think she should have it for herself." Erin turned to face her husband, the smile slipping from her face at the sound of his petulant voice, "She's a big girl. She doesn't need you ordering her dessert and sharing it with her. Erin loves dessert, I'm pretty sure she can finish it without any help from you."  
"Can I speak to you outside Jay?"

Erin slid out of the booth and waited for Halstead to follow suit. She saw the nod of her mother's head and the sullen frown on Annie's face. Lindsay ignored Annie's disapproving look as she led Jay out of the diner. The bell rung over the entrance door as Erin pushed it open, "Jay," she sighed, walking down the diner's outside stairs, "you need to relax and calm down. If I knew you were going to act like this, I wouldn't have invited you. The way you're acting is really making everyone uncomfortable."  
"I'm making everyone uncomfortable," he repeated, dubiously. He needed to make sure that he heard her right, "How am I making everyone uncomfortable? If anyone is uncomfortable, it's me! I'm being forced to watch you rekindle yourself with your old flame! How am I supposed to be calm when your boyfriend is flirting with you in front of your own husband?"  
"He wasn't flirting with me."  
Jay crossed his arms, "Don't be naïve Erin. It's not cute."  
"Jay, I don't like this side of you," Lindsay took an uneasy step back.  
"I don't want to argue," he drops his arms and sighs, "When we're near them, we argue. Let's just go home and forget about this…let's forget about them."  
Lindsay kept her distance as she responded agitatedly, "I'm not ready to go home yet. I'm finally having a good time. I'm enjoying myself Jay. As my husband, you should understand that and want what's best for me. I'm not being pressured into remembering, and I can laugh and share stories with people who've experienced them with me."

Halstead shook his head, ignoring her words. She was still vulnerable. She just got released from the hospital a day ago. She wasn't thinking straight, and she didn't know what she was talking about. Right now, it may have seemed like the greatest idea, but he knew her, and he knew her old self, and the old Erin wouldn't have said any of that. As her husband, he did want and know what's best for her, and that is to steer clear of Bunny. She was always bad news.  
"We can laugh and share stories together."  
"but," she glanced down, "I don't remember any stories with you. I don't remember anything involving you. I don't remember you at all." Avoiding eye contact, she kicked a rock to the side and continued, "I want to stay with my mother for a few days."  
"Babe, they're-"  
"I'm not your babe!" Her voice grew louder as she asserted her words. Erin brought her hand up to her forehead and pressed it against her creased brows, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to shout at you, but I really wish you wouldn't talk like that. I barely know you. And you keep bringing up the fact that we're married, but Jay, I don't remember! I don't remember any of it! You're a stranger to me. We can talk about it all day long, but nothing will change…maybe if I stay with my mother for a few days-"  
"I don't want to lose you." He set his hands upon her shoulders.  
She shrugged him away from her, "then stop being so forceful and clingy."

Erin gave her husband one last look before going back into the diner. She noticed the establishment slowly clearing out of its customers. She approached the table, and slid back into the booth. Lindsay said nothing as she quietly began to eat into her dessert. Minutes later, Halstead entered the diner and rejoined them at the table.

Landon lifted a fork and took a bite out of Erin's slice of chocolate cake. He could feel Jay's eyes burning into his soul, but Landon truly didn't care. He was currently sharing a slice of hot chocolate cake with his ex-girlfriend. She was truly the one who got away. Lindsay swallowed her last bite, and chewed slowly, "Mom," she cleared her throat, "I think I am going to take you up on your offer of staying over for a few days. I think it's what's best."  
"Wait," Voight interjected, shaking his head, "Erin, I can't allow that to-"  
"Voight," Halstead shakes his head, cutting off his boss, "There's no changing her mind."

Hank said barely anything during the dinner, but the moment he heard Erin's plan, he couldn't stay quiet. He had to say something…anything, but it was all a bad idea. Voight couldn't allow for Erin to ruin her life, and living with Bunny will do just that. However, Hank trusted Jay with Erin, and regardless of how he felt, if Halstead didn't want him to try and change Erin's mind, he wouldn't. If this ruined Lindsay, Hank would never forgive Jay. Voight would never be able to look at Jay the same if this entire plan failed because her health and her life wasn't something he was willing to risk. Bunny's life is surrounded by drugs, alcohol and criminals. He took Lindsay from that environment for a reason, and he only hoped that while she may not have remembered anything he taught her, her common sense would be enough to keep her from falling under the peer pressure of Landon, Bunny and her friends.  
"It'll be so much fun! I'm looking forward to this! Yes!" Bunny clapped her hands, excitedly, "Landon, you and I will have a blast sweetheart! I can promise you that," Bunny reached over and squeezed her daughter's shoulder gently; "We're looking forward to you staying with us."  
"Landon," Voight spoke up before Halstead had the chance, "Is he staying with you too?"  
"Yeah, he needed a place to stay until he can get on his feet."

Landon passed Erin a wink as she drank the remainder of her beverage. Lindsay rolled her eyes goofily as she slurped up the rest of her soda, "Stop," she laughed.  
"Erin, maybe its best if you-"  
Lindsay shook her head, "I'm staying with my mother Jay. I don't want to argue…not here. Please respect my wishes."  
"Who's ready to go home?" Bunny clasped her hands together, "Landon offered to buy your meal sweetheart."  
"He doesn't have to," Halstead asserted, pulling his wallet out of his pocket, "My wife and I have the money to cover our meal." Landon said nothing. He simply put enough money to purchase his and Bunny's dinner down upon the table. Jay covered himself, Erin and Voight.

As the group walked out of the diner, Voight tugged upon the sleeve of Erin's jacket. She nodded for her mother and Landon to continue walking, as she turned to face Hank, "You're not changing my mind."  
"Why do you want to do this kid?"  
"You have to look at things from my point of view," she spoke lowly, eyeing Jay as he hopped into the car, "I don't remember him. I barely remember you. And the only people I do remember are the ones that you two tell me I should keep my distance from." Erin shakes her head, "I find comfort with them Mr. Voight."  
"It's Hank," he corrects.  
"I find comfort with them Hank. Bunny and Landon don't force me to remember-"  
"That's because they don't want you to!"

Voight released his grip on her jacket sleeve, "Just hear me out for a minute. You cut your ties with Bunny and Landon for a reason. You have to trust the choice that your old self decided! Don't be fooled by them again Erin. Please, get in the car with me and Jay."  
"…maybe I need to go with them," she starts stepping away from Hank, "maybe I'll remember more. This could all work out for the best."  
"What if it doesn't?"  
She sadly takes a glance at her husband's eyes from inside the car, "…then it wasn't meant to be."


	9. The Visit

As the last minute passed, signaling the end of his work day, Halstead rose from his seat and grabbed his jacket draped around the back of it. Most of his team was gone for the day. Voight allowed everyone to leave early after the culprit behind their hit and run was identified. Hank was in his office and on the phone for most of the work day, but when he wasn't getting quick enough results, he dismissed everyone, grabbed Al and headed out. Currently, Voight and Olinsky were out trying to get an extradition to pick the man up from New York in order to bring him back to Illinois.

Even though Voight sent everyone home, Halstead, Ruzek and Burgess decided to stay. There was paperwork that needed to be done, and they all offered to stay their whole shift in order to do it. Now that it reached five, and the paperwork was finished, Halstead was ready to go home to his empty house. During work, Ruzek and Burgess would casually glance at one another, both wanting to ask about dinner, but at the same time, both fearing his reaction. From the way Halstead and Voight came into work today, they knew it didn't go over well.

"Jay," Kim decided to swallow her fear and ask, "How did dinner go?"

Halstead sighs in response, "Erin was a completely different person." He tosses his jacket onto Antonio's desk, and leaned against the corner of it, "Landon kept flirting with her and-"

"Wait, your wife's ex-boyfriend was there?" Ruzek confusedly interrupted, and with the nod of Halstead's head he answers Adam's question, "So, your wife's ex-boyfriend flirts with her in front of you and you did nothing?"

"When I said something, we got into an argument."

"We?" Burgess pressed on for clarity.

"Me and Erin…I just don't know what to do."

Kimberly pulled her best friend's husband into her arms for a hug. She held him tightly as her mind thought of some way to ease his pain, and once she started thinking, she immediately pulled away with a thought, "I have an idea."

"Prepare yourself," Adam whispered, earning a glare from his wife.

"No, I'm serious," she clasps her hands together happily; "you need to do things that you know she likes. It'll connect you with her. You know like when you used to hug her tightly and tickle her to cheer her up," Burgess finished with a laugh, "Even if she doesn't remember it, she likes it. It should jog something."

Jay shrugged, disappointedly, "I won't even have the chance. After dinner last night, she chose to stay with her mother for a few days."

Jay broke eye contact and glanced around the office. He chose to look at everything but his sympathetic coworkers. They knew how hard this was for him. Kim set the stack of folders down on Ruzek's desk before crossing over to Olinsky's desk, "Why?"

"I don't know Burgess!" Halstead unintentionally snapped, "She won't talk to me! She's not answering my calls or responding to my texts! I don't know what to do and now that she's staying with Bunny and Landon, I think I might lose her."

"Wait," this catches Adam's attention, "She's staying with her mother and ex-boyfriend."

Jay nods, "Yes, Landon is staying with Bunny until he can get back on his feet."

"That's not good," Ruzek shares a look with his wife.

"I know," Jay glances down solemnly.

Ruzek took a careful look at his best friend, "No, that's not good for different reasons than you think."

"What?"

"I ran a background check," Ruzek opens his desk drawer, and pulls out a file, "and while I knew he was going to have a list of priors, he has some recent charges too that are now closed. His criminal life isn't behind him, and Erin's impressionable right now. She can barely remember crap and he's going to take advantage of that."

"When did you do this?" Halstead rushed over and snatched the file off of Ruzek's desk.

"I did it the day in the hospital when Landon came to visit. He seemed sketchy to me. I got Mouse to do a rush job on it. I would have said something sooner, but I didn't think it mattered because she wasn't in his company. She was staying with you, but now that she's practically living with him, he could possibly cause her to revert back to her old ways…and Erin's come too far to have that happen."

The club music is blasting to levels of volume that would surely damage her ears. She sees a long line of clubbers wrapping around the block. Landon worked at this club, and she promised she would visit him at work. While it was a struggle taking the Chicago train down to his work, she eventually pulled through and accomplished the task. Erin eyed the long line, and saw Landon checking ids and allowing certain people to enter, whether they had ids or not.

Lindsay was prepared to walk to the back of the line, but he spots her. He hands the id checker flashlight over to another club bouncer as he races over to catch up with her. Erin feels her cell phone ringing against her pocket, but she ignores it. She knows it has to be Jay…he had been calling her all last night and throughout the day. When the call stopped, she sighed in relief as Landon approached her, "Hey, where are you going?"

"I was going to go get in line," she pointed towards the back of it.

"I just got off of work," he takes a hold of her hand and pulls her in the direction of the entrance, "and as a perk of working here, I don't have to wait in line, and therefore neither do you." He gives his friend a nod of the head as they walk into the loud club.

Landon reserved a table in the back of the club, and positioned in the center of it was a bottle of wine. He allowed her to slide into the booth and he sat in beside her, "Just give me a second," Landon pulls out a mysterious bag and dangles it in front of her face, "Look at what I have." He preps the white powder as she opens the bottle of wine and pours them both a glass, "Okay, since you just woke up from a coma, I'll give you the bigger pile." He pushes it towards her.

"No thank you," she pushes it back towards him, "I'll stick to the glass of wine." She takes a sip.

"Are you sure?" His eyes widen at the surprise of her refusal.

She nods, "I'm positive. And actually, you shouldn't be doing it either."

Erin watches him as he inhales both stacks of the white powder. For some reason, none of that interested her. As a young girl, she used to feel a pull towards it, and it was one of the ways they bonded together, but now…it just seemed bad and all she thought about was the possible consequences of it. Lindsay watched as he brushed leftover powder off of his upper lip before she decided to start talking, "Okay, since we're apparently not together anymore," she flashes him the tattoo of Jay's name, "When and why did we break up?"

"We were on and off for about two years," he lifted his glass and took a chug of the wine, "that was until you ditched me for Charlie.

"Was Charlie a boyfriend of mine?" Her curiosity was sparked because she had heard that name from Annie at dinner last night.

"No," Landon shakes his head as he refills his glass, "Charlie was Annie's boyfriend. They have a kid together. He just looked after you on the streets and you respected him for that. You were loyal to him."

"Why did we break up?" She repeated her earlier question.

Landon swallowed the remaining drops of wine, before slamming the glass down upon the table, "We broke up because you moved in with Voight, and you started to change. I didn't like who you became. You started acting differently and you withdrew yourself from me."

Lindsay sat back against the cushion. Her eyes lowered guiltily. Her hands fumbled together on her lap, "I'm sorry for that."

"It's okay," he sets his arm around the back of her seat; "I'm a big boy. I eventually got over it." Erin turned to face him, and the moment she did, he brushed a strand of hair behind her ear, "You are so beautiful…and we were so in love."

"We were so young," she added, remaining in his arms, "we didn't know what love was at the time."

Landon shook his head and corrected her, "We were different. Voight got in between us."

"If I loved you, why did I marry someone else?"

"You had no choice." He asserted, turning his head to face her. The two faces remaining inches apart, "Voight kept you away from all of us after he took you in." His voice was strong and she heard it over the loud music, "I don't want to talk about him," Lindsay saw a flash of anger in his eyes, "I haven't seen you in years," the angered flash was gone, "we have a lot of catching up to do." Erin smiles at his words. The conversation was growing a bit tense and she appreciated him changing it.

"Okay," she sits up and turns her body to face him, "what has been happening since I've been gone?"

"I'm moving out of your mother's apartment soon. I've been saving my money and I can afford my own place."

While Erin tried to listen to him catching her up on his current life, she couldn't focus. She had zoned out. She had another question and it was going to bother her if she didn't ask it. This was a time for her to get answers, whether she liked them or not. She needed to know, and she didn't want any avoidance.

"Sorry to change the subject," she cut him off, "but if we were so in love, how come you didn't see me when I turned 18? Voight couldn't have controlled me the entire time."

Landon shrugs, "I guess…I don't know. You were going into the police academy soon and I figured you wanted nothing to do with me."

"Why would you think that?" She felt truly bad. She never wanted for anyone to feel like that because of her.

"Voight told me to stay away from you and he threatened me if I didn't."

"I'm so sorry! Did I know he did that?"

"You knew he told me to stay away, but you didn't know he threatened me," he nods.

"Oh Landon, I'm so sorry. I'm sorry."

"It's okay," his hand presses against her cheek, "we may have lost a few years, but we have the future to look forward to." Within a split second, he leans in and brushes his lips across hers. And while he half expected her to pull away, as the time passed, she didn't.


	10. The Pictures

Landon kicks the bathroom door shut behind him as his mouth once again attached on to the woman standing before him. His hands cupped her face as the make out session increased in lust and intensity. Erin's back pressed against the stall wall as Landon's hands began to roam over her body. He roughly pulled at the buckle on her pants, and as a result, she nervously pulled away, "I can't," she gently pushes him away, "This is weird. I'm…I'm married. I can't do this."

"You may be married, but you don't love him though." He argued, reaching his hand out to pull her close again, "You don't remember Jay. You barely know who he is. You don't even know if you were happy in your marriage. Erin, we care for each other."

"I'm sorry Landon. I can't."

Erin moves passed him and ushers herself out of the bathroom stall. She took a glance at her reflection in the dirty mirror and began adjusting her disheveled outfit, "Erin." He comes out behind her, "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have been so pushy. I know you're confused and I don't want to take advantage of that. I'll take it slow if that's what you want." She nods.

"I'm ready to go home."

Landon reaches into his pocket and retrieves his keys, "I can make that happen."

Lindsay follows her old friend out of the bathroom and through the crowd of clubbers. She held on to his jacket in order to keep up with his rapidly moving form, "Hey, wait up." Erin picked up her steps as she dodged around the partygoers.

The fresh air settled her racing heart. She followed Landon to his parallel parked car, and froze. His car was parked legally on the side of the road. Erin carefully approached the vehicle, and slowly sat inside. She stared forward in familiarity as her eyes glanced out of the window. Her eyes closed briefly and the moment they shut, a memory of a hard impact hit the car she was in. Lindsay reopened her eyes at the vision of her flying through the windshield.

"Hey, are you okay?" Landon turned to face her from the driver's seat.

"I remembered something."

"What was it?"

Erin buckled her seatbelt hastily, "I remember the accident…actually I only remember seconds of it. I remember being hit and going through the windshield."

"Do you remember Jay?"

Her head shakes, "No. It was only brief, but I remembered something Landon."

The young man glumly turned forward, started the car and pulled off. He allowed the low music to add sound to the silent car ride. In his peripheral vision, he could see her staring at him, "What?" She was obvious, and Landon was curious.

"Why did my mother and I stop talking for so long?"

The car pulled to a brief stop at the red light, "For years, Bunny never stopped trying to reach out to you, but you refused. You didn't want anything to do with her."

"Why?"

"I don't know," he shrugs, pulling off at the green light, "Bunny never told me."

"I can't believe I ignored her and shut her out for so long."

Erin could sense him shutting down. He didn't want to talk, and she personally didn't blame him. She pushed him away the moment they grew close. And from what he has told her of their past, it probably reminded him of how she treated him. Apparently, she wasn't a good girlfriend or friend. She allowed Voight to convince her to sever ties with him, and she felt entirely guilty for that. Before Lindsay could say another word, they pulled into her mother's apartment complex.

In silence, the two stepped out of the car, entered the building, walked up the first set of stairs and walked into Bunny's apartment. The blaring music startled Erin as she stepped inside. The floors shook from the pumping bass, and the room had smelt of a mixture of cigarette smoke and burnt rubber. At the sight of the dancing people, a smile stretched across Landon's face, "I swear living with Bunny is the best." He closed the door behind him before walking further into the apartment to dance, drink, smoke and mingle.

A part of Erin wanted to hang with her mother. It was one of the reasons why she decided to stay with her for a few days, however at the sight of a cigarette in Bunny's left hand and a glass of alcohol in the other, she decided against it. Lindsay looks around in a panic. Her breathing increased as she thought about her next step, but at the sight of an old memory, she calmed. She spotted a scrapbook lying upon the couch's end table, and she pushed through strangers in her quest to get it. The young detective had no desire in attending the party, and chose to grab the scrapbook and head into her mother's bedroom.

In a quick instant, Erin grabbed the book, raced to her mother's room and slammed the door shut. She walked over to the bed, and took a seat at the edge of it. Her eyes glanced down at the thin, rugged and damaged scrapbook; before she pried open the watered damaged pages. As Erin looked at each photo, she felt an overwhelming sense of relief because she remembered most of the memories, but by the time she reached the third page, there were no more added pictures to the scrapbook. Only about five percent of the book was complete. Her eyes filled with tears as she looked at the unfinished, blank pages, and before she could react fully, she felt fingers tickling her against her side, "Stop!" Erin slams the book shut, "I hate being tickled!" Her voice was stronger and powerful, and it shook Landon in his core.

"I'm sorry," he held his hands up, "I didn't know."

"Of course you didn't," her voice sounds broken and he takes a seat beside her, "How come I never finished my scrapbook?"

"I'm not sure. I just know you started making that around the time Voight took you in." His breath reeked of alcohol.

Lindsay lifted the scrapbook up and tossed it across the room. She rose to her feet, and backed away from Landon. She hated the fact that she remembered nothing, but at the same time, a part of her was scared of remembering something. She wished that the accident didn't happen. She wished that she was wearing her seatbelt. She wished that she never lost her memory. The gaps in her memory caused more harm than good. As she's standing, she pulls her cell phone out of her pocket, sparking Landon's attention, "What are you doing?" She ignores him as she goes to her photo app. As she opens the pictures, her eyes fall onto the first one, and she immediately starts swiping. Picture after picture, she took in the sight, the people and the smiles. From the look on her face, she was absolutely, genuinely happy. There were selfies of her, photos of her with Voight, her with her husband, and her with Burgess, Ruzek, or someone from her unit.

Erin swiped once more, and the picture resting on the screen of her phone caused her breath to hitch in her throat. She leaned her back against the wall and pressed her hand against her forehead, "I just want to remember Landon."

"Maybe you're not supposed to," he shrugs, rising from the bed. He walks over to the vulnerable woman and takes a look at the picture on her screen. It was of her and Halstead. The two were in a loving lip lock. The young detective exits out of the photo and sets her phone down upon the nightstand, "I'm running to the restroom," he leans towards her and pecks her forehead. Every part of her felt guilty and ashamed, but the part of her that knew Landon, felt comforted by his presence. She walked over to the bed and flopped down. Her eyes occasionally falling upon the cellular device, and before she knew what she was doing, she picked her cell up and called her husband. It rings for a second, and he answers on the next, "Hello? Erin."

She's quiet for a few seconds, before responding, "Jay."

"How are you?"

"I'm not okay," her voice cracks, "I don't know how to feel. I don't know what to do. I just want all of this behind me, but I can't put it there because I don't remember."

"How about we meet each other for breakfast tomorrow morning?" she could sense a small smile pulling at his lips, "I'm willing to cook for you again."

"I like that idea."

Jay sighs in relief, "Do you need me to pick you up tomorrow?"

"No," she kicks off her shoes, "I'll get my mother to drop me off in the morning before she heads into work. I'll be there pretty early."

"I'll be up."

Erin walks over to the bed she shares with her mother. She pulls the covers back, and slides into the warm comfort of the mattress and blankets, "I guess I'll see you tomorrow."

"I'm looking forward to it," he hesitates briefly, before adding, "I love you."

She's quiet, and seconds before she hangs up, she whispers, "Yeah." Following her last word, she ends the call. Erin sets her phone down upon the nightstand, fluffs up the pillow before pressing her head down upon it.

As she squeezes her eyes shut, she feels as if the music is louder. She feels the wall shake from the increased volume. People are yelling, laughing and being obnoxiously loud. For a second, it gets louder when Landon enters the room, and it dies down a bit after he closes the door.

"I was just heading to bed," she whispered, pulling the covers up to her shoulders.

Landon shrugs, and takes a seat at the edge of it, "I'll leave when you fall asleep."

"You're being weird." She closes her eyes, however the burning sensation of his eyes staring at her pulls them open, "I can't sleep with you in here, staring at me."

"You're just beautiful," he slides closer to her, "and I've missed you so much." He leans forward and brushes his lips across hers, "I'll let you get some sleep," his words are mumbled as he says them against her lips.

Erin doesn't pull away causing him to smile into the kiss. He feels his body immediately react to the passion of his lips against hers. Without breaking off the lip lock, he uses his free hand to pull the covers back, and slide his hand underneath her shirt. His large hand tugs at her bra, and within seconds she angrily pulls away, ""I'm not sleeping with you." Lindsay presses her hands against his chest and pushes him away, "I'm not planning to sleep with anyone until I understand the last years of my life! Now, leave me alone!" Without a second thought, she rolls over to face the opposite side, pulls the covers over her shoulders and presses her eyes shut. She hears the door open and close, signaling Landon's departure.

Lindsay rolled onto her back, and stared up at the ceiling. The darkness of the room surrounded her, and as she struggled to fall asleep, she felt tears stroll down her cheeks. There was nothing she could do to prevent the outpour of tears, and therefore she allowed them to come. She allowed them to flow, and eventually she allowed them to help her fall asleep.


	11. The Job

Erin stands near the front door with her foot tapping impatiently. She had been ready to leave for the last hour, but Bunny was taking her time. Lindsay grabs the car keys, and opens the front door, "Come on mom. Let's go. You don't want to be late and you still need to drop me off." Bunny grabbed her jacket, and raced behind her daughter, "I need the keys." Lindsay tosses her mother the car keys and waits as her mother locks the door behind them, "You know, you can just skip breakfast with Jay and come to work with me. I'm sure we will have fun. And I'm sure that I'm much better company than your husband."

"Mom, I have to share my time with both of you," they walked down the stairs, "It isn't fair for me to immerse myself with you and Landon, and not with Jay. I want to go to breakfast with him. I'm actually looking forward to it."

Bunny sighs dreadfully, unlocking the car door with the push of a button. Her daughter arrived to the passenger seat and hopped in before Bunny even approached the driver's side. The older Lindsay slid into the car, "So sweetheart, what should we do later?" Bunny buckles her seat belt.

"I think I want to spend the day with Jay."

"I thought it was just for breakfast."

Erin shrugs, "…that was initially the plan, but sometimes plans change." The young detective sat back comfortably as her mother pulled out of the parking lot. Bunny had the music high, threatening to break both of their eardrums. And while normally the music would be too loud to give Erin a chance to think, she had something on her mind since the moment she left the hospital, "Mom," the young adult turned to face her mother, "Can I ask you some questions?"

"Of course," Bunny stretched out her hand and pat it against her daughter's knee.

"Why weren't we on speaking terms?" Erin shifted in her seat in order to face her mother, "What made me move in with Voight? Did he want me moving in with him?"

"We-" She began to answer, however they pulled in front of the Halstead home. Erin's mother sighed in relief, as she placed the car in park, "Oh sweetheart, we'll have to talk later. We're here. And I don't want you to miss any time with Jay." Erin opened the door, and Bunny rolled down the window, "I love you and I'll pick you up after work!"

Erin steps out of the vehicle, and closed the door shut. Before she made it to the sidewalk, her mother had already pulled off. Lindsay scanned the front of the house, and smiled as she walked up the porch stairs. She balled up her fist and began knocking against the front door.  
"Where's your key?" Jay opened the door within seconds.

"I think I left it here," she smiles, stepping into the house, "Something smells good."

"I just finished preparing breakfast."

"Did you make bacon?" She grins, allowing him to take a hold of her jacket.

"Of course."

"You know," Erin walks further into the house, "this place actually feels like home." She could see the smile stretching across his face. He pulled out a chair and watched as she took a hold of her seat, "Thanks for inviting me to breakfast."

"No, thank you for accepting the offer." He brings the plates over to the table, "I put extra bacon on your plate." Erin chuckles as he sits the plate down in front of her.

The awkwardness of their first breakfast together was nonexistent. The two fell into a normal pattern of banter that felt familiar and comfortable to both of them. Erin laughed, ate, and drank her orange juice as Jay filled her in on what she has missed at work.

"Jay," she cuts him off, earning his attention, "Sorry to interrupt you, but you know Annie's getting married in a few weeks, and I wanted to invite you to the wedding. Would you be interested in coming?"

"…as your date?"

"As friends," she corrected, quirking an eyebrow.

"Sure I'll go." He lifts his glass and finishes his juice.

Even though his plate was empty, Jay didn't plan on leaving the table. He leaned back in his seat, and set his hand upon his full belly, "So, what did you do yesterday?"

"I…I uh," even though she doesn't remember him being her husband, legally, he still was, and it was weird discussing anything Landon related with him, and therefore, she avoided bringing him up, "My mom threw some party at the house."

"Did you have fun?"

She shrugs off his question, "I didn't go."

"Where did you go?"

"I stayed in the room."

"Is that why you were upset yesterday?" he leans towards her, fully interested in the direction of the conversation, "Is that what made you call me?"

"No. I called because I was looking through the pictures on my phone, and we looked happy."

"We were happy," he agreed, nodding.

"I wanted to get a feel for that," her voice admitted, before she silently finished up the remainder of food on her plate.

Halstead took a glance down at her plate and sighed sadly. He didn't want breakfast to be over. He wanted to enjoy this moment for as long as he possibly could. Jay rose from his seat, and collected their plates, "Is Bunny picking you up or do you need me to take you home?"

"I was thinking," she cleared her throat, "maybe I can hang with you for the day." She stood up. Erin watched as he stopped walking and slowly turned to face her. His mouth was agape in shock. She was making the move towards him. She wanted to spend time with him and he didn't even have to plead with her. Maybe her staying with Bunny and Landon was going to work out for the best. They'll surely drive Lindsay back into his arms.

"Okay." That was all he could think to say. His brain couldn't formulate a sentence because he was in complete shock. Just the other day, he had a fearful Erin telling him to leave him alone and stop being so clingy. She didn't like him hovering, and now after 24 hours, it seemed like she actually missed his presence.

"I was actually thinking…maybe you could take me into work."

The stories Jay filled her in on over breakfast had her curious, and maybe seeing work would allow her to remember something else. She didn't want to tell Halstead about her brief remembrance of the accident because she didn't want to get his hopes up. He had already been through enough, and he didn't deserve being dragged around. He deserved so much more, yet he was patient and actually waiting for her.

"Well," a wide grin stretched across his face, "I'm dressed. You're dressed. I'll just put these dishes in the sink, grab my keys and we can head out. How does that sound?"

"Good, it sounds really good."

Erin went to go take a seat on the couch as she heard the sink water flow into the basin. Jay hated washing dishes, but if one were to look at him, they wouldn't be able to tell. He had a strong and wide smile displayed upon his face as he washed the scrapings of food off of the plates. He hit the garbage disposal, and it grumbled for seconds, swallowing the crumbs of food before turning it off. Jay cleaned both plates, before taking the dish towel and drying his hands, "I just need to grab my keys," he shouted, rushing up the stairs, "this is good," his voice was low as he whispered it to himself. Jay pulled his keys and his jacket out of the bedroom, before grabbing his phone off of the charger.

"You ready?" he strolled down the stairs.

She stood near the door, with her coat on and zipped up, "Yes."

Today was probably going to go down as one of the best days in his life, aside from the day he met Erin, fell in love and married her. This was definitely going to be one of the top ten.

Jay locked the door behind him, and led Lindsay to his parked car. Before she reached the passenger side, he rushed to the vehicle and opened her door for her, "Here you go."

"Thanks," she smiled, sliding inside. Erin waits for him to jog around to the driver's side, and once he hops in, she comments, "I'm looking forward to this."

"Yeah," he glanced at her, "Me too." Jay buckled his seatbelt, set the key inside and started the ignition, "Everyone is on shift too. I did overtime all last week, so I actually had the day off."

"I'm making you go into work on your day off."

"Don't sweat it," he grins, eyes focused on the road as he pulled out of his parking space, "I'd go to work any time if it meant you were coming with me." She blushes. If there was one thing she learned about Jay, it was that he is a sweet talker. Lindsay couldn't help but wonder was that how he managed to woo her.

Erin rested in her seat as she observed the city traffic. Loud honks of the horn blared all around as she heard obscenities shouted to one another from people on the street. Lindsay watched the city folks interact with one another before the boredom grew. She turned away from the window and faced Halstead, "Okay, I need a refresher. Who works with us?"

"In our Intelligence unit, besides me and you, we have Voight, Ruzek, Atwater, Olinsky and Dawson. Burgess and Roman are uniformed officers, and then there's Sergeant Platt."

She noticed the look on his face, "What's with the look? Who is she? Should I be nervous?"

"No," he laughs, "Platt is an interesting person. You're fine if you are on her good side. She adores you so you have nothing to worry about." He gave her a comforting smile, "Everyone is going to be so happy to see you. Don't be worried."

"I can't help it," she shrugs in her seat, "I don't remember anything and I hope their hopes aren't too high when I walk in. I don't want to feel pressured." The smile on Jay's face stretched even wider at the sight of the precinct. He switched lanes, "I'm pretty sure no one will pressure you. And if they do, I'll put a stop to it."

"Thanks."

Jay could barely take his eyes off of her after parking his car. He snapped out of his gaze at the sight of her opening her door and stepping out. Within seconds, Jay hopped out and raced over to her. The two walked, side by side, up the stairs of the precinct, and he opened the main door in order to allow her to walk inside first.

As Erin stepped inside, and walked up the stairs before stepping into the main desk area, she was surprisingly not overwhelmed. She looked around at all of the busy officers racing in and out of the building, roaming throughout the facility, and chatting away with their coworkers. Lindsay glanced over her shoulder in order to make sure Jay was close, "Hey, don't leave my side." Her voice was low as it pleaded with him, and he nodded in assurance. He didn't plan on going anywhere. "Where do we work?" Before he could wave her over to follow him, he heard a familiar voice shout her name, "Erin!"

Lindsay turned around and spotted an older woman, in a white sergeant uniform wave her over. After getting a nod of approval from Jay, she stepped towards the woman. Platt leans over the desk, and gives Erin a one-sided hug, "Hey, long time no see. How are you?"

"I…uh…I'm sorry, who are you?"

"Oh yeah, I'm Sergeant Platt. I basically run things around here. I'm top notch. People occasionally answer to me," the sergeant shrugged her shoulders in nonchalance, "and we're good friends Erin. And I know you lost your memory, but you'll remember eventually…at least you'll remember me. I'm kind of hard to forget."

Jay stood behind Lindsay and set his hands upon her shoulders, "I'm going to take her upstairs. No one's expecting us so she'll be a nice surprise." Halstead begins to slowly direct Lindsay away, "and don't worry," he stops Platt before she can comment; "I'll bring her to see you before we leave." He directs his partner towards the scanner.

"I'm good friends with her?" Erin asked as she watched Halstead scan his hand against the screen.

He laughs in reply as the gate unlocks, "No, not really, but like I said, she adores you. I don't know why though. Platt has always had a soft spot for you." Jay stepped back and allowed her to walk pass him, "Lead the way."

Erin took the stairs slowly, taking a small step with each passing second. Jay caught the hint and moved in front of her. He could hear chatter and laughter from their desks, and the moment they saw him, he gained their undivided attention.

"Jay, what are you doing here? You had the day off." Ruzek was the first to speak, however he waved the question away at the sight of Lindsay, "Erin, hey! Welcome to Intelligence!" She silently waves in reply. Ruzek is Burgess' husband. She had to remind herself mentally.

Burgess walked around her husband, "What brought you here?" She casually hugged her best friend and was somewhat surprised that Erin didn't push her away.

"She wanted to come see where she works." Jay answered for his nervous wife.

"It's not that exciting," Dawson joked, rising from his desk, "Hey Erin. I'm Antonio," instead of approaching her with an attempt to hug her, he extended his hand. She greatly appreciated it as she shook it, "It's nice to meet you Antonio."

"Atwater here," Kevin raised his hand as he rose from his desk chair. He followed Dawson's approach and extended his hand. She once again truly appreciated it. Erin shook his hand, "It's nice to meet you too Atwater."

Jay caught a hold of her attention, and he knew she was looking to him as a way to ask what to do next because Lindsay had absolutely no idea on how to proceed. "Now you know Dawson and Atwater, you already met Ruzek and Burgess, and you know Olinsky," Al waved his hand at her and she casually waved back, "these two over here," he points to the two remaining people in the room, "are Roman and Mouse. Mouse was one of the groomsmen at our wedding."

"Roman and Mouse," she repeated, walking up to them in order to shake their hands, "Wait. Why is your name Mouse? Is that short for something?"

Jay's closest friend laughed, "…it's a long story."

"Did I know it before I lost my memory?"

"You sure did," he nods.

"And Roman," she repeats, turning to face the other officer, "What do you do here?"

"I'm Kim's partner," he points over at Burgess, "We have each other's back out there on patrol."

Lindsay grins. The hardest part was over, and it felt good. It wasn't how she expected it to be. Everyone was really great, and no one's personality was too much for her. The only part that somewhat bothered her were the amount of eyes watching her. They observed her as if at any moment she would break. They didn't know how to treat her, or what to say to her.

"Erin," she hears a familiar raspy voice, "What are you doing here?"

"She wanted to come in." Jay answers for his wife.

Voight kept his eyes focused on her, "Is that a good idea?"

"Why wouldn't it be?" Jay questioned, but before Voight could offer an answer, he noticed Erin approach her desk.

"Is this where I sit?" The team nods, answering her question.

She immediately sits down and her eyes fall upon a framed photo of her and Jay. Her eyes scan the contents on her desk, while the simple things located on it tugged at the corners of her lips. There was a reminder she wrote on a yellow sticky note. The date had obviously passed. There was a hair tie casually resting at the corner of her desk while another picture frame of her and Voight sat at the opposite end of the one of her and Jay. As her eyes focused on the framed photo she saw her husband in her peripheral taking a seat against the corner of her organized desk. She sees him set something down in front of her, and the moment she looks down, she sees the familiar badge that deemed her a Chicago Intelligence Unit detective.

Her fingers brushed against the design before she scoops it up into the palm of her hand. Erin's hand wraps around it briefly, before she extends it and hands it back over to Jay, "Can you show me around or is that too much to ask?"

"Of course not," he pockets her badge, "Just follow me."

Erin rises from her seat and keeps up with Jay's average paced walk. He reached out for her hand and pulled her along, "I'm taking you to the interrogation room." Jay abruptly stopped in front of the closed door, "Here it is." He grabbed the handle and pushed it open, "It's nothing special," he laughs, "but we keep it interesting."

Erin stepped into the plain room, arms crossed, and eyes wide open as she glanced around. She turned towards the one-way mirror, and approached it, "Is someone on the other side of this?"

Jay laughs, "No. Come on, I'll show you." He waves for her to follow him, and in a few quick steps, he opens the door and turns on the light.

"This is so cool," Erin grins madly. She went up against the mirror and glanced into the room she was once in. The young detective looked back at her husband, before turning back to face the mirror, "It's just like the movies." Halstead couldn't help but laugh at that.

"Are you ready to head to the next room?"

Erin turned to face him, "What could possibly beat this?"

"You're about to find out," he extended his hand towards her and she took a hold of it.

Lindsay was definitely curious, and if she had to admit, she did enjoy the mini tour. She followed him down the hallway, passed their desks and coworkers, before he pushed open a wooden door, "Welcome to the breakroom."

She stepped inside, "This is…not where I thought you were going to take me," she smirked, "This is basically a lounge area."

"It's also a place where we created some good memories."

"Memories that I don't remember," she corrected.

Unfortunately, a quiet, solemn atmosphere surrounded them and she gently pulled her hand from his hold. A few of her fingers brushed strands of hair behind her ear, "Maybe you should take me back to the house. My mother should be picking me up soon."

"If I said something wrong-"

Erin shakes her head, "No, you didn't. I just…I just want to end this on a good note. I don't want for one of us to say something that we'll regret. Please just…take me back Jay."

"Of course," he reached into his pocket and pulled out his car keys.


	12. The Promise

Erin feels the cold metal press against her chest, and listening to Dr. Rhode's orders, she breathes in deeply and releases the breath seconds later. She does it once more as he adjusts the metal medical instrument, "Your breathing is fine." He takes a small light out of his pocket, and flashes the beam into her orbs, "Follow the light." She does as she's told and allows her eyes to follow the bright light around, "Good job," Connor smiles, turning the light off, "How do you feel?"

"I feel fine," Erin smiles assuredly, "I still don't remember anything though."

Dr. Rhodes backs away from her, and takes a seat at the computer. He pulls up her medical file and begins typing his observations into her account, "From the tests I ran on you today, you get the thumbs up to drive."

She smiles even wider, "That's great."

"As for your memories," he turns in his seat to face her, "there isn't anything medically wrong that I can see which is preventing you from remembering anything. Are you sure you aren't blocking them…maybe you're subconsciously doing it because you're afraid of the different life you are now leading? You're used to Erin Lindsay's lifestyle. You're probably nervous about the life Erin Halstead was living."

"I want to remember, but at the same time, I don't want to be forced into remembering. I want them to come on their own. I just…I just want all of this to go away." Erin raises to her feet, "Thank you doctor. I appreciate this."

"You're talking as if this is the last time we'll see each other. You still need to continue your checkups with me…if anything changes, anything at all, don't hesitate to make an appointment."

She wants to avoid this entire conversation…even with her own doctor. Erin wasn't up for it…not today. She reaches for her purse, "I need to go. I'm going to surprise my husband at work and then I have to go to an engagement party tomorrow night that I need to prepare for."

Connor beats her to the door, "You're very busy."

"Life doesn't just stop because I was in a coma and I don't remember anything. It still goes on."

He opens the door for her, "Just…don't forget to relax. You may be healthy, but I would like to keep it that way. I don't want you to overexert yourself. And, maybe taking things a little slow might spark a few memories. If you're constantly all over the place, your brain is trying to keep up. You're not giving it a chance to remember."

Erin nods at his words, pats him on the shoulder and waves to her doctor as she departs the room. She gathers herself in the hall, adjusts the strap of her purse on her shoulder and begins walking down the corridor.

"There's my favorite sister-in-law." Lindsay hears the familiar voice of Dr. Will Halstead as he approaches her, "How are you?" He gives her the signature Halstead smile.

"…as good as expected I guess," she shrugs.

Lindsay attempts to continue walking in peace; however her brother-in-law walked alongside her. He stuck close as she headed towards the exit, "How's living with Bunny?"

"Will…"

"Sorry," he bows his head, and waves off his question, "forget I asked."

Erin smirked, "Did you want to ask me something?"

"Jay, my brother, your husband-"

"Yeah I know."

"Well, he's been a total wreck without you Er." Will sets his hand upon his sister-in-law's shoulder, "He's my brother and he's worried about you, especially when it comes to your relationship with both Bunny and Landon. You're family…and you've been staying with them for the past three days, and now I'm starting to worry."

"I appreciate your concern for me and your brother, but you don't need to worry."

"I don't?"

She shakes her head, "No. I'm a big girl. I make my own decisions. And you and Jay don't understand what I'm going through right now," she takes a deep breath, "I need them."

"You don't though. You have me, Voight and Jay."

"But you're not family," her voice interrupts his plea. The signature Halstead grin dropped from his lips and a frown took its place, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean it like that. I just meant…they can give me that sense of escape. I feel free with them. I don't feel forced. I don't feel burdened. I'm just…me. I'm Erin Lindsay."

Will takes a hold of her lower arm, and pulls her to the side as a gurney was quickly wheeled passed them. He lowers his head to be eye leveled with her, "Where are you headed? I'm going on lunch break…and I know you caught public transportation here. How about I give you a ride? It's the least I can do."

Her eyes widen, "So you can lecture me on my marriage with your brother? No thank you." She walks pass him.

"What if I promise that I'll let you lead the conversation?

She comes to a stop, "You have to pinky promise."

"Deal," he holds up his pinky.

Erin chuckles and holds hers up as well. The two pinkies wrapped around one another in an understood agreement, "I'm going to the police station."

"Can I ask why?" his brows rise as he leads her in the direction of the exit, "Or is that breaking our pinky promise?"

"I want to surprise your brother. I was thinking that I'll pop in for a few minutes. Catch up with him a bit and then get a ride back to his place-"

"It's your place too."

"Let's just go."

Will leads the way out of the hospital and to the parking garage. He unlocks his car door from a distance, and she approaches it first. Erin hops in to the passenger seat and before she does anything else, she buckles her seat belt, "Don't forget to buckle in."

"The police station is just two blocks away." He starts the car.

She places her hand on the gear before he can touch it, "Anything can happen. Jay and I were parked when we were hit."

"You remember that?"

She's quiet. She doesn't respond. Lindsay turns forward and silently stares out of the window. As Will waits for a response, he buckles himself in, "Was that breaking our promise?"

"No," she sighs, and adjusts her purse on top of her lap, "and yes, I just remember getting hit. Nothing more, nothing less…don't tell Jay."

"Why not?"

"I don't want to get his hopes up."

Will pulls his car out of his assigned parking spot, "It wouldn't. It'll just give him hope. He'll know that his efforts in trying aren't for nothing. I won't tell him, but you should consider it."

"If I remember something else, I'll tell him," she turns her body to face him, "Do we have ourselves a deal?"

The young doctor chuckles as he extends his pinky, "We have a deal." She wraps her pinky around his, "Is this our new thing now?"

Erin laughs at his curious question, "Maybe."

Dr. Halstead pulled into the lunch traffic rush of Chicago. He usually grabbed something to eat in the hospital or at one of the food trucks near the hospital, but today was different. He was giving Lindsay a lift and he didn't mind emerging himself in the mess that downtown traffic was if it meant talking to her, "So," he quickly glanced at her as she started to speak, "how are you and Natalie?"

"How do you know about Natalie?"

Erin witnesses the blush creep upon his cheeks, "She visited me a lot when I was in the hospital. I saw you two talking to each other. I may not have my memory to depend on, but I'm not blind. I see the way you two look at each other."

"It's complicated," the doctor flashes his signature Halstead grin. It was the grin that fluttered her heart. It was a smile that Will and his brother possessed that no one could mimic.

"Well, un-complicate it."

"We broke up yesterday."

"Why," she turns to face him.

Halstead shrugs, "She's ready to settle down…for Owen's sake."

"Owen?"

"…her five year old son."

While keeping his eyes on the road, Will reaches into his scrubs pocket and pulls out his wallet. He tosses the wallet onto her lap, "Open it up." She does as instructed, and the picture inside was a grinning little boy, missing a front tooth. Erin smiles widely, "He's adorable. He looks just like Natalie. He is just the cutest!"

"Yeah," Will agrees, glancing at the picture from his seat, "he sure is."

"You look like you really care about him."

"I do." As he pulls in front of the precinct, he sighs, "I just don't know if I'm ready for that type of commitment. We've been dating for three years, but-" he sighs, and nods towards a waving Platt, "I don't know."

She opens the door, "You should figure it out before it's too late. See you Will."

"Bye Erin." She shuts the door.

Platt is waiting for her at the sidewalk. She had just gotten back from picking up her lunch. It was completely coincidental that the two would run into each other. Platt throws her free hand over Lindsay's shoulder, "What brings you here?"

"I wanted to surprise Jay."

"That's a great idea!" Platt agrees, holding the door open for Erin to walk through. The two law enforcement officers enter the lobby of the precinct, "I'll just key you up. I'm sure Halstead will appreciate this. It's always so great to see you."

"Thanks, that really means a lot."

"Anytime," Platt sat her lunch down, "Let's buzz you in."

She hears the buzz of the door, signaling it is unlocked. As she slides through, she grabs a hold of the railing and begins to slowly walk up the stairs. She hears the talking of her colleagues as they discuss a case. The facts of the case sounded somewhat familiar. The passion in the voices of her co-workers made the case seem personal. She continued walking up the stairs and heard Olinsky speak, "Mouse was able to locate him in New York. Voight is out trying to get a warrant out for his arrest and then extradition papers so we can go pick him up."

"Hey guys," her voice startles all of them. Ruzek and Atwater rush over to stand in front of their suspect's photo taped to the board. Mouse shuts his laptop. Olinsky excuses himself to make a phone call to Voight and Jay approaches her, with the biggest grin he could form upon his face, "Not that I'm complaining, but what are you doing here?"

"I…I uh," her brows furrow as she suspiciously watch Ruzek and Atwater. They attempt to cover the board to the best of their ability, but she's not falling for it. She starts to approach them, "I just got checked out by Dr. Rhodes. He cleared me. I'm healthy…and I can drive now."

Erin pushes the two large detectives to the side in order to observe the face of the man taped to the white board. He didn't look familiar. Her eyes skimmed the words written by his photo. He was a wanted man, and he was wanted for a hit and run accident that seemed to occur around the same time as hers. She looks back at the photo, "Did he-"

Before she could finish her question, Jay answers, "Yeah."

Lindsay bumps into Atwater accidentally as she hastily rushes into the break room. She slams the door behind her, and goes to lean against the counter. Her hands cover her face as she hears the door slowly open and gently close back.

"Hey, you alright?"

"Do I look alright?" she turns to face him briefly. Her eyes wide and filled with anxiety and confusion, "It's weird putting a face to him. He just…he just left us there! He left me there to die! How can I be alright about that? He almost killed us and then he fled to New York!" Jay gradually approached her. He didn't want to scare her off. Erin turned back to face the counter, "Maybe if he didn't leave and got us help immediately I would still have my memory! If he was paying attention, none of this would be happening!"

Jay softly rests his hand upon her shoulder. Since she woke up, he hadn't seen Erin so uneasy. Because she didn't remember him, he didn't know what level of comfort she would allow him to do. Jay's arm slides around her shoulders, and he pulls her closer, "Just breathe. Okay. It may seem like a lot right now, but it's not. It'll be okay. We'll get that warrant. Voight and Al will go get him and then we'll bring him back here and book him. He'll go away. Judges don't tolerate drunk driving and they definitely do not accept someone running from the scene of a crime they caused. We just have to be patient…and you have me to lean on anytime. You just have to remain calm and breathe."

"Stay away from me!" She pushes him back, "Just stop and shut up for a second please!" She grabs her head. A headache is arising.

"I'm trying to help you," Jay holds his hands in the air, helplessly, "but I'm not your punching bag. We don't talk like that to each other."

"Can you give me a ride to your house?" She wipes at her eyes.

Jay sighs glumly, "Alright," he pulls the keys out of his pocket.

Lindsay storms pass her husband and rushes out of the breakroom. Ruzek, Dawson, Atwater, and Mouse shout goodbyes as she waves while departing down the stairs. Erin pushed through the locked gate, waved at Platt as she stormed out of the precinct. Hot on her heels was Jay. She was glad. Lindsay was ready to get out of here. She was ready to go home.

"Can we talk?" the couple hops into Halstead's car.

She buckles her seat belt, "there's nothing to talk about."

"Come on Erin," he buckles his before pulling off, "I'm trying here."

"And I appreciate that…but I'm trying too. I came here to surprise you."

Jay smirked as he stopped the car briefly at the corner stop sign, "And I was surprised. It was a really nice surprise. I know you're trying and that's all I ask, but Landon is not-"

"I don't want to talk about Landon."

"Landon has recent drug charges against him. He was pulled over a few months ago for a DUI. He's not a good guy. He was arrested a year ago for assault!"

"I don't want to talk about Landon, Jay!"

Halstead continues to drive. He's thankful for the dwindling traffic. Most people lunch breaks had just ended. Through his peripheral vision, Jay temporarily watched Erin, "I wasn't bringing him up to upset you. I just wanted to warn you. He's not the same kid you used to date. You haven't spoken to him and Bunny in years…and that was for a reason. The decision made by your old self, you should trust it. You cut him and Bunny off for a reason Erin. You may not remember, but you haven't spoken to them in years because of it!"

"I stopped talking to Landon because of Voight."

"What?" Jay is confused, and shakes his head accordingly, "I'm sure that's not the reason. You never told us why you stopped talking to Bunny and Landon, but you wrote them off at the same time so whatever reason it was, it had to do with the both of them."

"Landon doesn't know why I stopped speaking with my mother."

"He does," Jay assertively says, "He's just not telling you because he knows that you'll stop speaking to him again. Landon doesn't want you to remember Er."

Erin felt relieved as Halstead pulled into an empty parking spot. She doesn't wait for him. Lindsay hops out of the car, and races up to the front door. From her last visit, she made sure to take her set of keys to the house. Erin dug into her purse, pulled the house keys out and unlocked the door. Once she stepped inside, she went upstairs, and immediately began to pack.

"Lindsay, I'm sorry! You don't have to leave." Jay is leaning against the door to their master bedroom as she throws clothes into a suitcase, "I'll always look out for you. It didn't take us getting married for me to have your back. I just want to make sure you're safe. I don't trust Landon and Bunny. They did something that you refused to forgive them for and they're using your lack of memory to worm their way back into your heart."

"I'm staying with my mom and Landon," he opens his mouth to rebut, but she raises her hand in order to continue, "I'm staying with them until Annie's wedding. I'll return after the ceremony. You have my word."

"You promise?"

She zips up her suitcase, "I promise." A horn honks outside of the house. She immediately knows that it's her mother. Constant honking follows the first. Erin pulls her closed suitcase off of the bed, "That's my mother," she begins rolling it out of the room, "I invited you to come to the wedding with me as friends. The offer still stands. I invited Burgess and Ruzek too." Halstead takes her suitcase from her and begins carrying it to the door. He didn't want to see Bunny. He would have taken it outside, but if he saw Erin's mother, there was no telling what he would say or do.

Lindsay takes a hold of the handle of her suitcase, "I'm sorry for how I acted," she gives him a dimpled smile, "Even though we were only in each other's presence for a brief time today, I'm still glad that I saw you…and sorry again for being complicated."

"Can I have a hug?"

It takes a few seconds to answer. And when she answers, she answers with a nod of the head. Jay opens his arms and she steps into them. The two fit together like a puzzle piece. Her arms wrap around him and his does the same around her. Jay breathes in her scent. He didn't know when he was going to be able to hug her again, and because of that, he was going to cherish every second of the hug.


	13. The Engagement Party

Standing in his tux, Halstead turns around to face Ruzek and Burgess. His tie tied tightly and adjusted accurately around his neck, "Thanks again Voight for letting me off early." Hank looked up from the paperwork he was skimming through, "No problem. I trust you'll look after her during this get together," Hank rises from his chair and grabs his jacket draped around it, "I'm heading home. Olinsky and I have a long day tomorrow. It should be interesting."

Yesterday, Hank had managed to obtain a warrant for the arrest of their hit and run driver. They were notified that he was picked up by NYPD on a busted headlight. After his plates were run, they arrested him on the spot. The extradition was approved a few hours ago, and the two head detectives were set to head out to New York early the next morning.

Ruzek watched Voight head down the Intelligence stairs, "What made you want to go to this engagement party anyway?"

"Annie invited me," Jay pulled at his necktie, "Erin will be there and so will Landon." He continually yanks at his tie, "This thing is uncomfortable."

Burgess waves him over, "Here let me help."

"Kim, I knew there was a reason why we liked Annie!" Ruzek added, taking a seat upon the edge of his desk, "What are you going to do when you get there?"

Jay allowed Burgess to fix his tie, "I'm going to work my magic. I need to make my wife fall in love with me again," Kim finished up his tie and gently pat his shoulder, "Thanks Burgess. Erin usually does this type of thing for me. I can never get it just right."

Burgess opens her arms, and wraps them tightly around Jay. She rested her head against his shoulder, "You clean up nice." She tightens her arms around her best friend's husband, "Erin will surely fall for you dressed like that," she pulls back, "Good luck Jay."

"I hope you're right."

Ruzek throws an arm around his friend's shoulder, "Women are always right."

"You make a good point my friend."

"Alright," Kim claps loudly, "You should get going before you're late." She brushes a few strands of lint from the detective's shoulder, "The sooner you get there, the sooner you can whisk Erin off her feet and ride off into the sunset."

"She's been reading romance novels again," Adam explains in a whisper.

Kim elbows him, "I have not," her husband raises an eye brow, "okay, I haven't been reading it as often. They give girls ideas."

"Fictional ideas," Ruzek corrects.

"Alright lovebirds, I'll let you finish." Jay grabs his wallet and jacket, "I should be heading out. It's like a thirty minute drive and if I leave right now, I'll make good time." He saw the couple wave as he departed from the unit. Halstead walked down the stairs, and saw the usually busy precinct, slow and relaxed. It was a Thursday night. Most officers were off, and those who are currently on shift, were out on patrol.

Jay pulled his car keys out of his pocket, unlocked his vehicle door and hopped inside. He placed his jacket and wallet in the passenger seat, "Alright, the address," he opens up Annie's text, "here it is," he begins typing it into his GPS. Once he clicked submit, the estimated time of arrival placed him at his location a few minutes after everyone was set to arrive. Halstead pulled out of his parallel parking space, and merged into the rush hour traffic.

His knuckles tap mindlessly against the steering wheel as he drove along the wet pavement. It had just finished raining. Halstead merged into lanes, turned on and off of exits, and maintained a reasonable speed limit. The young detective debated on whether or not to turn on the radio, but when his cell phone rang, he postponed making his decision. His cell phone was connected to the speakers of his car, and by the press of a button on his steering wheel, he answered, "Hello, Detective Halstead."

"Hey, where are you?"

He recognizes Annie's voice, "I'm a few minutes away."

"Oh good!"

"Why," Jay furrows his brows, as he turned off on his exit, "What's going on?"

"Erin just arrived…and she's with Bunny and Landon. She still doesn't know you're coming, but she'll be fine with it. You're my friend too. I invited you because I wanted you here."

Jay smiles, as he pulls the car into the drive way, "I'm just pulling in. Whose place is this?"

"My soon-to-be father and mother-in-laws," Annie is outside, waving as Jay parks his car, "I'll go in with you. You're the last to arrive."

Halstead stepped out of his car and locked his vehicle as he walked away. Annie gave him an approved once over, "You clean up nice Halstead. Erin would be blind to not notice how handsome you look."

"Alright now, settle down with the flirting," Jay joked around, giving the woman a one-armed hug, "Clark may not be so willing to overlook your slight attraction."

She hit him with a giggle, "Come on, and let's go inside. I'm dying to see the look on her face when she sees you."

"We're not on the best of terms…at least I don't think we are."

Annie brushes it off, "You two are perfect for each other! I want my marriage to be like yours!"

"No marriage is perfect."

"Yeah, but if my marriage is half as great as yours and Erin's, I'll be grateful," Annie smiles as she pulls open the house door, "I know you, Bunny and Landon do not get along, but please try tonight, if not for me then for Erin."

Jay salutes, "I'll be on my best behavior."

The two walked inside, him following behind her, and her leading him into the dining room. At the sight of Jay, Bunny sighed, Landon rolled his eyes, and Erin shifted in her seat nervously. Bunny points to the empty chair beside Erin, "You're right there Jay," For the engagement party, there weren't as many people there as Jay expected. He knew Annie's wedding was going to be small, due to her lack of family, but for some reason, he still expected more people.

"Annie," Bunny called, taking the attention off of Jay, "What made you have your engagement party so late? Usually, an engagement party is months before the wedding."

"I wanted Erin to be there," Annie takes a seat between Clark and Erin. She casually squeezes her friend's hand, "I knew she was going to wake up. And I wanted her to be with me through the wedding process every step of the way."

Landon took a sip of his glass of beer, "So Jay, what brings you here?"  
"I invited him," Annie interjects.

"Why?"

"…because he's my friend, my best friend's husband and it's my wedding."

"Is this really appropriate?" Bunny chimed in. She was in complete support of playing matchmaker with Landon and her daughter, but the moment Annie tried to do the same with Erin and Jay, Bunny had to voice her opposition, "Trying to play matchmaker at your own engagement party Annie…this time is for you and Clark, not them." She had a way of making it seem like she genuinely cared.

"I'm not playing matchmaker Bunny. All I did was invite two of my closest friends to celebrate one of the best times in my life."

"Is that all you're trying to do?" Bunny squints.

Annie nods, "It is."

Erin wants to sink down into her seat. She wants to hide her face, blink this dinner over, and snap her fingers to be home. This was awkward. She knew Annie was only trying to look out for her, but she had wished that she had at least gotten a warning.

"Your hair," Jay acknowledges, taking in the sight of his wife, "its lighter."

She twirls a strand, "Yeah, Bunny and I went to the hairdresser. Bunny suggested a change. I got it highlighted."

"It's different."

Erin shrugs, "I think that's the look Bunny was going for."

"You don't have to do everything she suggests."

"She's my mother."

"…and you're an adult." He adds. Jay continually forgets that the last memory Erin has is of her childhood. She's fully aware of being an adult, but it didn't make it any easier to go against her mother. He turned to face her, "I'm sorry. Ignore what I said. I don't want to ruin this for Annie."

"You're right."

He looks at her skeptically, "About which part?"

"Both," she smiles, bashfully. She shouldn't change herself. If she's not comfortable with it, she needs to stick to her true self, especially if she wanted to remember her new self.

The group, consisting of Clark, his parents, his sister, Annie, Erin, Jay, Landon, and Bunny began passing around the food dishes, and each person made their plates in silence. Clark's mother, Susan, poured each person a glass of wine and a separate glass of water; however Landon had come with his own case of beer. Clark's father, Jeff, began digging into his food, "So, grandchildren? What's the plan with that?"

"Clark doesn't want any children, and I'm okay with that. I have a child already who is keeping me on my toes."

"Yeah, and besides, Clara here will give you your grandchild," Clark leans over and pats his sister's bulging belly bump. She was recently engaged to her boyfriend of eight months.

Susan took a bite of her food, "Are you two nervous?" She swallowed and wiped the corners of her mouth, "Marriage is a big step…it's completely normal to be nervous."

"I am," Clark admits.

Annie turns to look at him, "You are?" she sets her fork down, "I'm more excited than anything."

"Like my mom said, it's normal."

"But I've never at one moment felt nervous about marrying you. I'm just excited and impatient because I'm ready to spend the rest of my life with you." Annie's voice grows in pitch, and Erin can tell that she's getting upset. Any time Annie was upset, her voice grew high in tone. Lindsay reached under the table, and took a hold of her best friend's hand, "Annie-"

"No Erin," Annie shakes her head, cutting off her closest friend, "Clark would you have told me that you were nervous if your mother hadn't have asked?"

Before Clark had a chance to respond, Jay cleared his throat with the sip of his glass of water, "Susan is right Annie. Nerves are a common feeling. You're making a lifelong commitment to someone that you vow to love. Erin and I were both nervous the day of our wedding. I know technically the bride and the groom weren't supposed to see each other, but we did. We gave each other a pep talk. We reminded each other on why we were getting married in the first place. She was my other half…my soulmate. And the only way to calm those nerves, were to remind ourselves of that. She's the love of my life, and even though we both felt those nerves, we never once regretted getting married."

Annie thinks his words are sweet. With Erin's hand in her hold, she squeezes her best friend's hand in return. Erin had definitely gotten lucky. Many women are looking for a man like Jay and her best friend was fortunate enough to find one.

The remainder of dinner continued with Jay and Erin passing lingering looks to one another. Landon sat quietly, drinking his beer since Erin deemed herself the designated driver of the night for him and Bunny. Once the meal ended, the group rose from the seats and decided to head into the living room for conversation and toasts.

Jay stepped back, looked at Erin, and waited for her to rise from her seat. When he noticed her outfit… a black dress that stopped at the top of her upper thigh, he had to take a double look. Halstead had only seen Erin dressed like that for undercover operations. She would occasionally use her sex appeal to get into the hearts of those offenders they want answers from or those defendants they want to arrest. He had never seen her dress up like that intentionally.

"What do you have on?" He's whispering. He doesn't want anyone else to hear the shock, disappointment and confusion in his voice.

"I didn't have anything to wear to this get together," Erin shrugs as she pushes in her seat, "Bunny went to the store and bought me an outfit," the young couple followed the remainder of the guests into the living room, "It's not really my style, but I didn't have anything else to put on."

Jay heard her words, and not one part of him was surprised by Bunny…except for the mention of it not being her style. That was the Erin he knew, and whether she knew it or not, he could tell that his wife was starting to shine through.

Halstead stood shoulder to shoulder with his wife. All of the seats were taken, and a part of him thought, or expected Landon to offer his seat to the only woman left standing, but he chose to remain seated and start on his third beer.

"I know your favorite book, your favorite song, your favorite movie," he's whispering to her as Annie and Susan gush over the details of Clara's impending baby shower, "you can always read it, listen to it and watch them again for the first time. You'll see why you fell in love with them." Erin turns to face him. Everyone else was preoccupied. Jeff was questioning Landon on how he knew Annie and Erin, while Bunny kept Clark busy with stories of her fast life. Jay used them being distracted to his advantage. He brushed a strand of hair behind Erin's ear, "If you think about it, our relationship could be like that…we could live the best time in our life over again, and you'll see why you fell in love with me."

Erin had to admit. Her husband had an exquisite way with words. He was attractive, and the suit did wonders for her attraction to him. Her heart did flutter at the smoothness of his voice, her cheeks blushed at the smile on his face, and she sometimes felt extremely mushy when she noticed the way he looked at her when he thought she wasn't paying attention. Dr. Rhodes was right…maybe she was scared about the life Erin Halstead was living and chose to be content with the life of Erin Lindsay. Lindsay needed to trust her decisions. She needed to give her husband a chance.

"What did you have in mind?"

He sighed and smiled in immediate gratitude, "Go on a date with me."

"Do I have to dress as ridiculous as I'm dressing now?"

"…of course not."

She spots Landon, laughing obnoxiously loud as he reaches for his next beer. Lindsay looks from the couch potato she's been staying with and towards her partner, her husband, "Yeah. I would like that."

"You won't regret it," he pulls her into a hug, "I promise." She didn't push him away. She was okay with it. She was okay that he didn't ask for one. He was her husband. He shouldn't have to ask for a hug. Erin had to put forth a bigger effort, and she was willing to try. It was the least she could do. She owed her old self that, and she definitely owed it to Jay.


	14. The Date

At the engagement dinner two nights ago, Erin had been asked out on a date by her husband. After idle chitchat among the party guests, and toasts given by Clark's parents, Erin walked with Jay to his car in order to go over a few minor details. Her car was going to be out of the shop by the time of their date, and because of that, and her excitement for it, Erin wanted to drive it to the house and meet Jay there for their date. She had no idea what her car looked like, but all week she had been excited to see it.

Now, as she drives to Jay's…their house, she realizes driving is much like riding a bike. No matter how long you go without doing it, you never really forget how to do it. As many times she has spent riding with her mother back and forth from her apartment to their house, she memorized the route. She was slowly on her way to becoming independent again. She didn't need everyone as much. Erin was starting to be able to function on her own.

As she parks her car, it proved to be a bit more difficult than she once assumed. She had managed of course, but it had taken longer than she expected. Lindsay turned off her car, unbuckled her seat belt and stepped out. She fumbled with her keys a bit, trying to lock her doors from a distance, and once she heard the click of the locks, she began walking towards her house. Her dress was far from being like the dress she wore at the engagement dinner. It remained sexy, but it wasn't as tight and as low-cut as the black one. It was a dark, shade of green, much like forest green. For some reason, this color stuck out to her when she and Annie went shopping for a dress. It called to her. And by choosing it, it became a decision Erin Lindsay had made on her own, without the influence of anyone else.

Lindsay walked up the few steps to approach the front door of her home. She had her keys. Even though she normally didn't, she could come and go as much as she wanted. While she never took Jay up on his offer to visit daily in order to get away…or take a break from her overbearing mother, she did appreciate having it as an option. The keys fumble in her hands, and seconds following she pulls out the key to the bottom lock. After unlocking the knob, and twisting it, she realized the top lock was locked as well. She began searching through her keys for the one that opened the top lock.

Erin was early. She was actually excited for this date. She couldn't wait another hour to come. She was eager to drive, and she was just as eager to spend the day with Jay. She wanted to figure out what Erin Lindsay saw in him. She wanted to see what made Erin Lindsay agree to become Erin Halstead. And this day, she was looking forward to finding out.

The young detective pushed open the front door quietly. She closed it just as silently. Her hands locked each latch as she heard talking from two familiar voices. She placed the first one. It was coming from Jay. The second one took her a bit longer, but soon enough, she managed to link it to Voight's gruff tone. Jay was upstairs getting ready while Voight was downstairs. The two were having a loud conversation. It wasn't loud as in arguing, it was only loud so they could hear each other a floor distance apart. Erin hears Voight talking, and assumes Jay is quiet upstairs due to listening to what her foster father had to say.

She walked into the dining room area adjourned to the kitchen. Voight was sitting at the dining room table. He's reading a newspaper while informing Halstead about the extradition. Apparently, he and Olinsky had driven to New York, and picked the culprit up from the city jail. It was a stress free and simple extradition. Now, he's in Chicago, sitting in a jail cell, awaiting trial. Since he ran from the scene of a crime, the prosecution and the judge did not offer him bail.

Erin is debating over what to do. She feels like she just walked in on a private conversation. It was her house, but she felt as if she was intruding. Hank sensed a presence. He lowered his newspaper, and gave her a wide grin. He rose from his seat, "Hey Erin," he slowly approaches her with his arms wide open. She didn't return the gesture. Lindsay wanted to avoid him at all costs. The memories she had of him weren't pleasant. He and Olinsky had arrested her at one point. He kept trying to come between her and Bunny. He constantly lectured. He would pop in on her at school and at home. Her recollection of Hank Voight didn't match the stories she was told by Annie, Jay and Voight himself.

"You don't need to be afraid of me," Voight goes back to take a seat.

Erin sits at the other end of the table, "I'm not afraid of you. I just don't trust you."

"Why not?"

"…because you're a cop."

"You are too."

Lindsay can honestly say that she continually forgets that she's a cop. She doesn't remember her badge that Halstead carries around with him. She can't even picture herself as a cop, especially considering the lifestyle she had.

"Will said you remembered your accident."

She sighs, "I'm going to kill him."

"Hopefully, with time, you'll remember me too."

This is the calmest she remembers ever seeing Voight, besides the times she saw him after her waking up from her coma. This Voight and the Voight she remembered as a child seemed different. He wasn't as scary. Lindsay brushes a strand of curled hair behind her ear, "I hope so."

"The last thing you remember happened about a month before our relationship changed for the better. You're slowly on your way. I have faith in that…I just wish Camille was here. I'm sure she could have jogged your memory."

"I doubt that."

"You and my wife were close," Hank begins to explain, "maybe not in the beginning, but she eventually came around. She was like the mother you always wanted."

"I have a mother."

"You have the person who gave birth to you. That's all she is. It takes more than that to be a mother. Trust me…your old self would agree."

Erin rises from the chair, "My old self is gone."

"I don't want to argue with you," Hank gets up, and sadly looks at Lindsay cower away from him, "I should get going," he wants to approach her, but she actually looks a bit intimidated by him, "Here," he reaches into his leather jacket, "I don't expect you to have remembered my number, so, here's my card," Voight inches himself towards her, holding out the card for her to take, "Do not, and I mean it, do not ever hesitate to call me if you need me."

Erin looks out to his extended hand. She sees the card, and she sees it poking out towards her. As her hand reaches to take it, her mind begins working in overdrive. It's kicking back and forth between the past and present. She sees a less wrinkled hand extending his card towards her, and then it fades back into present time, with a much older Voight extending his card in her direction. She pictures a much younger version of herself slowly, nervously taking the card from his hold as her older self does just that. The story was true. She remembers Voight giving her his card. And once the small card is fully in her hand, floods of memories begin invading her thoughts. She remembers Voight and Olinsky helping her. She sees her younger self moving in officially with Voight, Camille and Justin. She pictures Voight comforting her when she cries. She sees Camille giving her pep talks in her own, new bedroom. She sees herself playing around with Justin. She lived with them. She stayed with them. And she celebrated holidays and birthdays with them. Her younger self saw them as family. And the moment the last flashback played through her mind, she rushes up to a departing Voight and throws her arms around him.

To say he was surprised would be the biggest understatement of the decade. He was surprised, but he welcomed it. Hank opened his arms and brings her into his hold.

"Not that I mind, but what's this for?" He chuckles, as she refuses to pull away from the hug.

Her arms remain wrapped around him, "I don't need your card."

"Why not?"

"I remember your number."

Hank didn't want to jump to conclusions. He didn't want for his eagerness and excitement to play tricks in his mind and cause for him to make inferences that shouldn't be made. Voight eases her out of the hug, but his hands remain on her arms, "What do you mean?"

"I remember your number. I remember you. I remember Camille and Justin. I remember a lot."

"How much?" he's growing overwhelmed at the possibility of having Erin completely back.

"I remember Olinsky, Lexi, Meredith, Platt and Charlie! I remember Annie's pregnancy, moving in with you, the private school I went to…I remember you grounding me, me rebelling…I remember my entire childhood!"

He still didn't want to jump to conclusions. She remembered her entire childhood. Jay wasn't in her childhood. Her career, her marriage, her coworkers…a lot of circumstances in Erin's life was not in her childhood.

"What's the last thing you remember?" He needed to know exactly where her memory cut off.

She's thinking. She's thinking long and hard, before it clicks, "I remember a vacation to a cabin. It was warm. We were outside, roasting marshmallows and telling ghost stories."

Voight makes the connection, "It was a week after your high school graduation. It was a few months before you went into the police academy."

Erin begins to grow sad. She still remembered nothing of her husband and her life with him. Her memory was going to torture her in knowing. She still didn't remember why she, her mother and Landon stopped talking. Her mind was playing tricks on her. It was playing some evil, anticipation game. However Erin felt about it, Voight was beaming. He pulled her into another hug, "This is great news! It's a sign! Your memory is slowly coming back! You'll eventually remember everything else! You just need a little help in being reminded."

"Why is it taking so long?" She returns the hug.

"It'll come when it's the right time," Hank and Erin separate, "You should tell Halstead."

"I will," she nods in agreement, "I'll tell him after our date. I don't want our date to turn into us picking and prodding trough my memories."

"Do you remember what Landon and Bunny did?"

"No."

"That's convenient for them."

"I knew you told Landon to stay away from me, but did you threaten him?"

"Is that what he told you?" She nods, "I did. He was a bad influence. You should remember that, but when he came back into your life a little later, I knew he was up to no good."

"What did they do?"

Voight shrugs, "I wish I could tell you kid. I wish I knew. Whatever they did, you kept quiet about it. You told no one. I'm looking forward to you remembering because I know you'll remember everything eventually, but I'm just really happy that you remember me."

"I can't believe I forgot you."

"Don't worry about it," he shrugs it off.

"After everything you've done for me, I just forgot about everything."

"It wasn't your fault," he pulls his keys from his pocket, preparing himself to leave; "I have some work to do. I need to make sure your case has no holes in it. Mind if I get a hug?"

"Since when did you ever have to ask for one?" she extends her arms, and wraps them tightly around him. He was her father figure. He was the only father she's ever really known and trusted. Camille was the mother in her life. Bunny acted as more of a friend than a caretaker. And while she remembered everything about her foster parents, she still wanted to stay with Bunny and Landon. Maybe being in their company was for the best. Maybe eventually they'll say or do something that triggers her memory.

"Erin?" Jay begins walking down the stairs. His eyes take in the sight of her, "Wow, you're beautiful." He blinks out of his stunned focus and takes in the sight of them, "You're hugging Voight? What's the occasion?"

Hank pulls free, and the two share a look. She wasn't ready for Jay to find out yet. "I gave her my card and she hugged me out of appreciation." Erin wanted to thank him for staying silent. She wasn't ready for that conversation with Jay just yet. Voight goes to open the front door, "I should be going," He notices her mouth the words thank you, "I'll see you later kid." He exits.

Lindsay is overwhelmed. She's breathing deeply. Her day was already going great. The gaps in her memory were slowly filling up with accurate events. She didn't have to worry about people telling her lies in order to suit their best interests. She had her memories…well, most of them anyway.

Jay is standing in front of her. She was beautiful, and wearing forest green definitely worked in her favor. He gently hugs her, "Forest green, my favorite." Maybe it was a coincidence that this colored dress stuck out to her. She had no idea, but it worked in both of their favor.

"You look beautiful," he whispered, resting his hand against the bottom of her back, "We should go. We have a big night ahead of us." He grabbed his suit jacket, and the door knob in order to open it for her, "We're about to have our first four dates in one night."

"This should be exciting," she smiles, carefully walking down the outside stairs.

The sun was slowly setting, and the moon was even slowly taking its place. She saw her parking job, and while it wasn't the best, she didn't hit any cars. She deems that a success. Halstead rushes in front of her in order to open up her passenger side door, "You know you do not need to constantly open and close my door for me," she says this as he closes the door.

He goes around to the driver's side, and slides in, "We're starting early huh?" he laughs, "You didn't tell me that until our fifth or sixth date I believe." The couple buckles themselves in.

"Where are we going first?" She asks as he backs out of his parking space.

"…we're going to the place where we had our first date."

"And where is that?"

"…for a walk around the city park."

"Why did we go there?"

"You always felt the first date should be a chance for couples to get to know each other. If we were to do an activity, you thought it would distract us from getting to know one another."

Erin smiles, "That's actually smart."

"You're smart," he compliments.

Erin sits up straight in her seat and stares out of the window. She watches the Chicago nightlife flash by her window in a flash. Her inner thoughts are debating over whether or not she wants to bring up the crash. She remembered it. And she did promise Will that if she remembered something else, she would tell Halstead.

"Jay," turning to look at him, she sees his eyes avert in her direction before flashing back onto the road, "I remember the accident," his head immediately turns to face her as she continues, "I don't remember much. I just remember us getting hit…that is all that I remember involving us."

"You remembered something else?"

"…I remember Voight. I remember him taking me in and raising me as a member of his family. I remember my childhood."

"…but you don't remember me?"

She curses herself for bringing this up. She owed it to him to let him know, but she could have chosen the moment better.

"I'm sorry."

"No, that's okay. As long as you're slowly getting your memories back, it's okay."

Halstead parallel parked along the street. He paid the meter, and waved her over to follow him along the trail. The young detective extends his hand to his wife, "We used to jog this trail all the time."

"It sounds like we did a lot together."

"We could barely stay apart," he smiles as she places her hand in his, "We worked together. We lived together. We worked out together. We always wanted to be in each other's presence, until one of us got tired of the other," he chuckles softly.

"Did that happen often?" The two start walking along the trail.

Jay shrugs, "…as often as expected when you spend every second with someone."

"So, it was pretty frequent."

"Yeah," Jay laughs, "You usually had girl nights out with Kim, Natalie, April and Sylvie. I spent my guy nights out with Adam, Kevin, Sean and Antonio."

"I guess that's a good thing. Even married couples need their break."

"Yeah," his voice is low as they continue along the pathway, "Hey can I ask you a question?"

"Of course."

"Did you remember anything about why you cut Bunny and Landon off?"

"…no."

He sighs, "…that's convenient."

"It's not like I can pick and choose what I remember."

"I'm not saying you can, I'm just saying maybe you don't want to remember."

She pulls her hand out of his hold, "Why would I not want to remember?"

"…because," he tucks his hands into his front pockets as they walk side by side along the cemented trail, "you want a relationship with your mother…and even Landon. You remember how your relationship with her used to be and you want this version to work out. And that's okay. However, you are scared of what she could have done to make you cut her off completely. You're afraid that if you remember, you'll want nothing to do with her."

Jay notices the shiver run up Erin's spine. He pulls his jacket off of his shoulders and places the fabric around her, "I'm just saying Er…you should be open to remember any and everything. You deserve to know what they did to you. You deserve to make a decision on who you want in your life based off the evidence presented to you."

"I don't want to talk about my mother and Landon. This is our date."

He grins, "You're right." His hand extends back out to her, and against his initial thought, she actually takes a hold of his hand, "Let's talk about something else. You lead the conversation."

"Okay," she nods, "pets…why don't we have any?"

"I'm allergic to cats and you wanted to wait to get a dog."

"Wait for what?"

"You wanted kids first."

"How many did we want?"

"Three." Jay smiles as he thinks back to their conversation pre-marriage.

"Why don't we have kids yet?"

"…because we wanted to wait. We were still enjoying each other's presence…alone."

Erin nods as she takes in the sights and their conversation. They've made a nice distance, and she could tell from the sight ahead that they were almost at where they started.

"Are you a Chicago native?"

"…born and raised."

Lindsay nods along as she takes in his answer, "Can I ask you something about me?" After the nod of his head, she continues, "How was I as a person?"

"You're the greatest person I know. You're so kind and compassionate. You're young, but wise. You give everyone the benefit of the doubt. Those are just a few of the reasons why I love you."

"Was I a great cop?"

"…the greatest."

"Was I a good wife?"

"…as good as they come."

She rolls her eyes as she notices his car up ahead, "You are such a sweet talker."

"That's actually one of the reasons why you love me so much."

Her hold around his hand gently tightened. She didn't want for it to slip away, and the brisk, cool air made it so their palms would not sweat. The two began walking off of the pathway, "I have a brother. Teddy. What happened to him?"

"He used to be around, but you two stopped talking."

"Why?"

Jay shrugs, completely unsure, "I'm not sure. You weren't mad at him or anything…at least I don't think you were. He just stopped talking to you. He started avoiding you."

"Why?"

"I just assumed it had to do with you and Voight. He was kind of jealous because Voight took you in and not him."

"It's my fault why we're not speaking?"

"No," Halstead quickly corrects as they approach his car, "It's more complicated than that. He disappeared around the time you stopped talking to Bunny and Landon."

Erin beats Jay to her car door. She wanted to open it before giving him the chance to. The young wife slid into the passenger seat, and shut the door behind her. Because Halstead didn't have to open her door, he was already seated by the time she shut her door. The couple buckled in, he started the car, and carefully pulled out into the main road.

"Are you having fun?" He was nervous that maybe she regretted accepting his date proposal.

"I'm having a good time. I'm learning about the new me. It's refreshing."

"We're heading to the location of our second date."

She notices one of his hands resting along the arm rest, and nervously, after giving it much thought, she places her hand over top of his, "And where is that?"

"…the movies."

It didn't take long to arrive at the cinema. He allowed for her to pick the film, the snacks and the seat. He didn't mind. It was usually how it always happened, unless there was a movie he really wanted to see. Erin chose the middle seats in the middle row.

"I see this part of you hasn't changed either."

She sets her drink down into the cup holder, "What do you mean?"

"It's nothing really. It's just you always chose the middle row seats when we come to the movies. They're your favorite."

When the lights turned off, and the previews started, the chatter in the theater silenced. It was no longer a time of talking and getting to know one another. It was a time to get comfortable without the added pressure of making conversation. He got to observe her during the movie, and she occasionally watched him as well. The couple shared the awkward arm rest positioned between them. Their hands were intertwined as they shared the middle sized bag of buttered popcorn. The two chuckled and smiled throughout the movie, at not only the film, but at the idea of watching the movie together.

"Do you want any more popcorn?"

"No thank you," she shakes her head as she refuses to pull her eyes off of the screen, "you can have the rest."

If you were to tell Jay a week ago that this date would occur, he wouldn't believe you. He would call you crazy and move along throughout his day. As the ending of the film approached, Jay sat back in his seat and finished off the remainder of the popcorn. He was honestly more fascinated in Erin than the actual movie itself.

"You're missing the movie," she smirks while her eyes remained on the screen.

"I'm actually quite content. You're more interesting than this movie."

This pulled her eyes away from the screen. It was the first time she looked away during the movie. She heard chuckles surround her, but she didn't care to see what in the movie made everyone laugh. Lindsay slides as close to the armrest as possible, "Jay," Erin wraps her around his and leans her head upon his shoulder; "you're too kind." Her eyes direct back onto the movie.

Jay wants to peck her forehead. He wants to wrap his arms around her fully, but he didn't want to overstep any boundaries. He had just gotten her to open up and let him in without getting defensive. She didn't push him away. She didn't storm off and ignore him. He was going to let her be the initiator. As her head lay resting against his shoulder, he could hear her chuckling. The dimpled smile on her face pulled a smile onto his.

The dim lights lit up the theater as the credits flowed up the movie screen.

"That was a really great movie," Erin turned to him with the brightest smile.

"I'm glad you enjoyed it."

She rises from her seat, "What's next?"

"…a little eager, huh?"

"I'm not excited about much. You should take that as a compliment. I'm enjoying your company."

"Well, I'm hungry," he gets up from his seat, "we're going to get some food. We're going to a little restaurant where we spent our third date and our third wedding anniversary."

"You are such a romantic."

"I do what I can to impress you."

He followed her out of the aisle, and down the stairs of the theater, "You sound like the perfect husband. Was I at least grateful for all that you do?"

"I'm not perfect." He corrects her, taking a hold of her hand, "None of us are. A marriage takes work…a lot of it, and we put in every ounce of work that we could. We both do our fair share."

A small silence fall over them as they maneuver through the crowd of moviegoers who just exited from their theater. Jay held her hand and gently and protectively pulled her through the crowd. As they walked outside, the air seemed to grow a bit chillier. She already had his jacket draped around her shoulders, and now her body pulled his in closer in order to maintain body heat. As they walked towards his car, she heard his stomach growl, "How far is the restaurant from here?"

"…not far. It's just down the street."

"We can walk?"

"It's too cold," Jay unlocked the car, "I don't want you to freeze."

"…always looking out for me." She hops inside and buckles her seat belt.

Jay was right. The restaurant was literally right down the street. It wouldn't have taken long to walk, but he didn't want to risk them getting too cold. He parked the car, and she hopped out before he could take the keys out of the ignition.

"What is this?" He laughs as she walks over and opens up his car door.

"I'm opening the door for you."

He laughs as he steps out, "you're such a gentlewoman." She chuckles and closes the door behind him, "Come on, let's head inside. We have a reservation."

"After here, where are we going?"

"Now that's a surprise," he pulls the restaurant door open for her to enter, "you'll just have to wait and see."

"I do think it's awesome how we're squeezing in many of our dates into one big one."

"You don't feel rushed?"

"…not at all. We took a nice, casual walk and saw a great movie. Now I'm about to eat at a fancy restaurant that I never thought I would ever be able to afford to eat at. This is a girl's dream."

The couple's reservation was ready. The two followed the hostess to their seat in the middle of the dining area. Jay pulled out her seat, and just as gently, pushed her in. She opened her menu as he took a seat across from her.

"What do I usually get?"

"…the chicken and I usually get the steak, but you always eat off of my plate."

"Wow, I'm greedy."

"I don't love you any less."

She raises the menu to cover her face as she blushes. She hears Jay place an order for their drinks, and he reaches across to lower her menu, "I came here to look into your eyes, not to look into the back of the menu."

"Sorry," she sets it down. She rests her hands on top of one another, "The last date I remember going on was with Landon…and it was definitely not at a place like this. He uh…he could barely afford to buy us a milkshake, so we just shared it and…I'm an idiot." She closes her eyes and sighs, "Here I am, on a date with my husband as I talk about my ex-boyfriend." Their drinks arrive, and seconds following, they place their orders.

An awkward silence falls over the table. She knows she ruined it. She ruined their date by bringing Landon up. He didn't want her to come on this date. He felt Jay was going to take advantage of her lack of memories by filling in false memories of things that never happened. Bunny thought she was going to fall into a trap of manipulation from Voight. Both Landon and Bunny felt that in her best interest, she should not risk going on a date with a man she didn't know.

"Can we rewind all of that?" She smirks.

Jay seems unfazed by her mention of Landon, "Yeah…sure."

"The other night I was looking through the pictures on my phone again," he nods as he follows along, "and I saw some pictures of people that I don't recognize…and no one has introduced me to them since I woke up." She reaches into her purse and pulls out her cell phone, "…maybe you can fill in those blanks."

"I'll try my best," he watches as she swipes in search of the photo.

"Who is he?" She sets her phone down onto the table and pushes it towards him.

"Teddy."

"My brother?" She takes the phone back and gives him a nice, long look, "Wow, he's so grown up. Time really flies." Erin begins swiping for the next photo, "Okay, what about her?"

"That's Jules."

"Jules?"

"She used to work in Intelligence with us. She was killed in the line of duty."

"That's depressing," Lindsay takes her phone back and stares down glumly at the late detective, "Was it recent?"

"No, it was before we were even dating."

"And him in the picture with her?"

"That's Sheldon, he was also killed."

"…this line of work is tough."

"Yeah, it really is."

"It's one more," she begins searching through the large amount of pictures she has saved into her phone, "Okay, I found it. What about her?" She turns the phone around and he immediately recognizes the woman. It's Nadia.

"That's Nadia. She…she was a good friend of yours. She used to work at Intelligence too."

"Used? Where is she now?"

"She was killed by some maniac."

"So," she shoves her phone back into her purse, "Camille, Jules, Sheldon and Nadia are all dead. Teddy isn't speaking to me. The only people I remember are Bunny, Landon, Annie, Voight and Olinsky. Two of whom, did something to upset me. Great…"

Following the sigh that emits from her mouth, their food arrives. The couple open up their napkins, lay it across their lap as they begin to dig into their dinner.


	15. The Lake

Erin is sitting in the passenger seat of Jay's car. They're quiet. She's anticipating what's to come since he refused to give her any details at the restaurant. His right hand is intertwined with hers as he uses his left to steer the wheel. Dinner at the restaurant was awkward. It had to be the most uncomfortable part of their entire date. After mistakenly bringing up her ex-boyfriend, they proceeded to talk about the deceased people no longer in her life. It was a depressing turn of events. As they ate, neither talked, and when she tried to spark a conversation, all she wanted to know more about was Teddy and Nadia.

She had only learned that Nadia was someone she grew close with because of their shared experiences. Erin had seen something in Nadia that she recognized in her younger self. They connected through Lindsay helping the younger woman escape from that lifestyle. Erin had managed to convince the girl to admit herself into rehab, and when she was released, Erin provided her with a job and a place to stay. She was like a sister to Lindsay; however, after the investigation of serial killer Gregory Yates, it had all changed. On her birthday of all days, he had kidnapped Nadia, took her to New York and killed her. It had been one of the roughest years for the detective. It was the year Bunny, Teddy and Landon came back into her life.

Lindsay had learned few things about Teddy. She could only learn things that Jay knew, which was minimum. He had come back into her life around the time Bunny and Landon did. Apparently, they all were reconnecting, but something had happened. Something big enough occurred for her to cut Bunny and Landon out of her life completely, and something large enough to cause for Teddy to avoid her, and her to accept his avoidance. Lindsay didn't want to think about it anymore, but she couldn't help her curious mind. She wanted her memories to come back by themselves, but she was impatient. The thing she wanted to know the most was taking its time in returning. As her hand remained entwined with Jay's, she turned to face him, "I'm sorry."

"For what?" He kept his eyes on the road.

"…for making things awkward."

"It's not awkward."

"Yes it is," she nods, "things have been awkward since we left the restaurant. I've been thinking about everything we discussed. I can't wrap my mind around Teddy. Did I do something to him? Why would he just leave? Why would he avoid me? And why would I allow him to avoid me unless it was for a good reason?" Erin raises her free hand and places it against her forehead, "Here I am ruining things again. Let's talk about something else."

He's relieved by her words, "Like what?"

"Us," she smiles at him.

Even though it was dark outside, he could see her grinning from ear to ear. She tightened her hold around his hand. With the seatbelt strapped over her body, she maneuvered her form to face him as much as she could, "Okay, what day did we get married?"

"October 28th"

"Church wedding?"

"No, we had a destination wedding in Miami. Father of the bride paid for it."

"My dad paid for it?" He could tell from the look on her face that she and him were talking about two completely different people.

"I'm talking about Voight."

"Oh, okay, that makes sense now," she chuckles, relaxing back in her seat, "okay, I have another question for you, who asked out whom?"

"We didn't really ask each other out. I made the moves on you…multiple times. You shot me down a few, but eventually, you gave in. You couldn't resist my charm for too long."

She laughs, "I'm sure."

The two fell in a natural conversation. It was like their dinner conversation didn't even occur. It was forgotten. As they grew closer to the location of their fourth date, the conversation grew even more light-hearted. Laughter and smiles filled the confines of his car.

"Did you propose to me?"

"Yeah, I did. I was so scared."

"Why?"

"…I didn't know if you would say yes or not. You're not an open book Erin. It takes time and patience to read you. We love each other, but I didn't know if that would be enough reason for you to say yes to me." He averts his eyes quickly to hers, "We're here."

It was about a half an hour drive from the restaurant to the lake. He parks in a nonexistent parking space and then turns to face her, "We're here." It may have been dark, but the street lights surrounding the lake provided nice glimmers of light to brighten their surroundings.

"Where are we?"

"…the lake," he takes the keys out of the ignition, "We came here for our fourth date. We took an unplanned night swim in the water."

"I didn't bring any swimming clothes."

"That was the fun part," he winks as he opens his door, "We didn't bring any clothes last time."

"I'm not swimming naked."

"No, I don't expect you to," he hops out and pops the trunk, "We wore our underclothes. I brought towels this time."

Erin thinks for half a second, "Alright," she steps out of the car, "It'll give it a try. It's a bit chilly out. Are you sure we won't freeze to death?"

"We came out around the same time a few years ago. Body heat usually keeps us well warm."

"Body heat? That's back when I remembered who you are." She approaches him, and uses her hand to raise her hair into the air, "Can you unzip me?" He hesitates. His hand approaches her zipper as he slides it down. Halstead hadn't unzipped her in what felt like a lifetime. It had been at least three months ago.

As she shimmies out of the dress, Jay begins unbuttoning his dress shirt. His jacket already rested in the car. Erin gathers her dress, folds it and places it into the backseat of the car, "It's a little cold. We're going to get sick." She takes off her heels and sits them onto the floor of the backseat, "We're going to catch pneumonia."

"Do you trust me?" He discards his dress shirt, slacks and dress shoes into the back seat.

"I do."

"We'll be fine." He stood before her in his boxers as she stood in front of him in her bra and panties, "We've done this once before. It'll be fun," he extends his hand towards her.

She takes a hold of his offered hand, "Okay, what next?"

He grins, "We run!" The young couple takes off in the direction of the lake. As they approach the edge, they jump in unison and land into the large body of water. A large splash emits into the air. Their hands unravel as the pressure of the water forces them to separate.

Erin cannot contain the smile on her face as she swims to the top. Her head emerges and she scans her surroundings for Jay. He arises to the top seconds later. She swims up to him, and maintains afloat, "That was fun."

"I knew you would enjoy it. Are you cold?"

"No," she shakes her head, "I'm actually not cold. I think it's the adrenaline rush I just got from doing that. Wow."

"Aren't you glad that you trusted me?"

"…very!"

Lindsay glances up at the night moon beaming a dim light onto she and Halstead. They floated freely in the dark water, "Why haven't we done this more? It's not that far from Chicago."

"We can do this again…anytime you want."

"Well I want to do it again, and soon."

Jay nods at her words as he swims even closer up to her. She gives him an innocent smile as she draws her hands back and splashes the water forward.

"Oh no you didn't," he prepares himself to splash her back.

She starts to swim away. Erin is swimming as fast as she can as she feels the splashing water spray her from behind. As she continues her quest to get away, she feels his arm wrap around her stomach. She laughs loudly as he pulls her towards him, "You thought you could get away from me." Her being in his arms felt natural. It felt normal. The smile on his face dropped, and the look in his eyes turned serious. It turned passionate.

His fingers pressed into her side as his arm tightened around her. The water dripped from their hair. The moonlight shined upon the lake. The cold breeze sent a small shiver through their bodies. As Jay stares into his wife's eyes, he envisions their life together both past, present, and future. He uses his free hand to brush wet strands of hair out of her face. She's frozen in time. She says nothing. She remains still, her body both calm and composed. And the moment his lips press against hers, she feels her heart rate speed up.

The kiss started out as calm. He didn't know how she would accept it. And because of that, he started the lip lock off in a manner that if she wanted to push him away, it wouldn't require much force. The moment he could feel her kissing back, passion and desire began to flood the kiss. Her arms wrapped around his neck, his around her waist. Their limbs entangled as seconds ticked on by. His hand brushes up and twists it into her wet hair while her hands travel slowly down his sculptured chest. It was just the two of them out here.

The young couple floated in the large, cold lake. Lips still locked. Their hands are still traveling one another. She couldn't remember being with Jay, and he couldn't remember exactly the last time they were together like this. He had faith that this opportunity would come again, but he didn't know for sure. There was no telling the future. If there was, the accident months ago would have been avoided.

"Jay," she pulls back when she feels his hand tug at her bra strap, "We should…we should go. It's getting late."

"Yeah, of course," he wipes at his reddened lips.

Jay didn't know how this night would end, but he already deemed it a success. Erin accepted the kiss. She didn't reject him. She embraced it.

"It's just Annie's wedding is in two days, and we have a lot to prep for. She's been staying at the apartment with me, my mom and Landon. I need to be well rested because we have to get up early tomorrow and run through a few things." They began swimming to the dock.

He used his upper body strength to pull himself up onto the dock, "You don't owe me an explanation."

"I feel like I do though," he reached over and pulled her up after him.

"No you don't," he opens up a towel and wraps it around her shoulders, "but it means the world to me that you care enough to think you do."

As she tightens the towel around her, she watches as Jay grabs the other one. The married couple began drying themselves off as they walked towards his car. He opened up the back door, and passed her the dress she wore, "We better get dressed."

"Yeah, explaining to my mom why I'm dressed in my underclothes is an awkward conversation that I do not want to have," she chuckles to lighten the mood.

"How's living with Bunny and Landon?" he begins buttoning up his shirt, "…honestly." He leaves the top four buttons undone as he reaches for his slacks.

She shimmies into the form-fitting dress, "It's been alright. My mom definitely has a young spirit. She has thrown a party at her house almost every night since I've been there," She holds her hair up and approaches him, "Can you zip me back up," he nods as she continues, "Landon is cool. He's good company. I don't really enjoy her parties so I'll just sit in her room, watch a game or read…or something and he'll normally join me."

"In Bunny's room?" He buttons his slacks.

"Yeah," she hesitantly says, sliding her heels back onto her feet, "He's good company."

"What do you two do?" he reaches into the car for his dress shoes.

She opens the passenger door, "Can we not do this?"

"Do what?"

"I know what you're trying to insinuate…and you're waiting for me to confirm or deny it."

"Well," he slides one shoe on, "is my insinuation correct?"

She hops inside and closes the door. She wanted to end this date on the best of notes. Jay getting jealous over Landon was not the best way to end it. Without looking in his direction as he hops in, she buckles her seat. He begins the car and their ride is filled with another awkward silence.

Lindsay promised herself she would try. She owed it to her past, present and future self to give this all she got and that started with honesty and letting Jay in. She pushed her wet strands of hair behind her ear, "We've kissed." She hears him inhale a deep breath, "…a lot." He releases it. "He wanted more. It almost led to more, but I always stopped it."

"Why?"

She was confused by his question, but she answered it anyway, "He's not my husband. Even though I don't remember you, we're married. I can't just sleep with someone else."

"Why?"

"…I don't know Jay! I don't know! All I know is my brain was telling me it'll be okay, sleep with him, but my heart was telling me not to do that to you. I…I don't know. It's all confusing."

"Landon's only trying to take advantage of you. He knew he would never try to kiss you if you had your memories. I don't blame you. I blame him. I'm not mad at you."

She sighs. It was all off her chest. If she did get her memories back, she didn't have to worry about keeping this secret from Halstead.

Erin reaches over and rests her hand atop of his. He accepts it and smiles. He usually wasn't the jealous type, but at the thought, at the possibility of losing Erin, jealously, protectiveness, everything he wasn't became him. The ride continued. He knew his wife would never choose to be with Landon, but this wasn't his wife…at least it wasn't her completely. She was missing one of the biggest pieces that created her…she was missing her memory. She didn't know what she wanted. He and Landon were painting upon a blank canvas that is Erin and the only advantage he had over Landon was the fact that she married him pre-accident.

"I trust you."

"Why?" It was her turn to question him.

"…because I have faith that your memories will come back and you'll kick Landon and your mother to the curb."

She smiles sadly, "Landon, he…he says I loved him. He says we're supposed to be together. I'm living with him. You have no reason to trust me. I don't trust me."

All Jay did was lift her hand and brush his lips across the back of it. He steered the wheel with his left hand as he kissed her right hand, "You said after the wedding, you're moving back in with me. Is that still the plan?"

"Yes."

"Good," he nods his head, "because I don't want you to get hurt. Landon isn't the same kid you grew up with…he's violent. He has a record."

"I have a record too Jay."

"…a non-violent one though. He has non-violent and violent charges. He's not a good guy."

She notices their home up ahead, "Even if he is violent, he won't hurt me. I can assure you of that. Landon may be a bit complicated, but he's actually good to me. He respects me."

"If he respected you, he wouldn't be trying to ruin your marriage."

"I'll see you in two days," once he parks the car, she steps out. She tried. She tried to keep things peaceful. She did her part.

As she pulls her keys out of her purse, Jay approaches her from behind. He reaches for her arm and gently turns her around, "I just…I just miss you…so much Erin. I love you." All she could do in response is blush. She pats his shoulder, pecks his cheek and turns to get into her car, "I'll see you at the wedding."

Halstead watches her get into her car, start the engine and pull off. He backs away slowly and approaches the front door of his home. Before he could insert the key into the lock, the door opens, "About time!" He hears Burgess and feels Ruzek pull him into his house.

"I really need to take your key from you. You both are abusing the privilege. It's for emergencies only." He feels Burgess grab his arm and lead him into the living room as Ruzek shut and locked the front door.

"This is an emergency," Kim announces, taking a seat on the couch, "You just got back from your date with Erin and we need to know the details."

Jay looks at Adam, and his closest friend raises his hand in defeat, "She actually needs to know the details. This was her idea, not mine."

"The date was amazing," he sits back and sighs, "it was kind of just like before," he places his hands behind his head and props his feet up on the coffee table, "Everything I love is still in Erin. She may not remember, but I can tell she wants to. She wants this to work out."

Burgess pats his leg, "Just be careful."

"Yeah," Adam approaches, and sits on the opposite side of his best friend, "Erin may not feel as strongly yet. Let her keep coming to you."

"I agree with Adam."

Adam turns to face his wife, "Pigs must be flying. Hell has frozen over because Kimberly Burgess-Ruzek has agreed with me. She thinks I'm right."

"Don't make me regret it," she rolls her eyes, playfully.

Erin uses the spare key to unlock the apartment door. She pushes it in and sees Annie sitting on the couch. One lamp is on in the living room. Her friend was nursing a can of beer, "I've been waiting up for you," Annie sets the beer down and rises to her feet.

"You didn't have to stay up."

"Yeah right," Annie rolls her eyes and approaches, "I couldn't sleep. I kept thinking about you and Jay. I want to know how your date went. I like Jay."

"I do too," As she voices her agreement, her chin trembles, and Annie picks up a sense of sadness, "I don't know who I am anymore," she's slowly crumbling to pieces and Annie immediately swallows her into a hug, "I have a tattoo." Erin looks up and sticks out her finger.

"I know," Annie leads her friend to the couch.

"It's just…" she turns to face her friend after taking an uncomfortable seat on the torn and dilapidated couch, "Annie, I like Jay. I really do."

"I sense a but…"

"But I barely know him."

"There was a time where you barely knew all of us, but that's what time does. Time gives you a chance for strangers to become friends."

"I don't want to lose Landon in the process though." Erin feels Annie wrap her hands around hers, "I feel like if I'm with Jay, I lose Landon. And if I'm with Landon, I lose Jay."

"Do you want a relationship with Landon?"

"No…I don't know. I don't think I do. I want friendship. I think we weren't together for a reason. We didn't get married. We weren't dating. All of that was for a reason Annie. If anything, I want him as a friend. He's cool, he's entertaining and he's fun to be around."

Annie reaches forward and sets her hand against Erin's shoulder. She notices her friend's disheveled hair and had every reason to question her on it, but she chose to save that for later.

"Erin, you haven't spoken to him and Bunny in years. That was for a reason…the reason being, we don't know, but you have to find out. You need to know what they did. Please. If not for Jay, then do it for yourself. You deserve that. Don't fall into old habits."

"You're right," Erin brushed a strand of dried hair behind her ear.

"Erin!" she hears her mother announce as she enters the living room. Bunny was dressed in her pajamas, makeup free and ready for bed, "I'm glad I got to catch you before I went to bed. I have great news. You're going to love it." She approaches her daughter and pulls the young detective to her feet, "I got you a job at the diner I work at," Bunny starts bouncing up and down, "We can spend so much time together now. Isn't that great?"

"I already have a job."

"…working at the diner is what's best for you. I'm your mother," Bunny pats her daughter's cheek, "and mother knows best."


	16. The Wedding

The wedding has started. Erin is standing to the right of the bride. Clara is standing to the right of Erin. Clark's two groomsmen are standing to his left. As the minister begins the ceremony, Erin surveys the crowd. Her mother and Landon are present in the third row. Clark's parents, cousins, aunts, uncles and extended family members are sprinkled throughout the church. She sees Jay, sitting in the second row on the bride's side. Burgess, Ruzek, Voight, Lexi and Olinsky are in the same row as him. The group watches intently as Annie first stated her vows and Clark followed with his. Annie's son was Clark's best man. He watched his mother proudly and felt joy in his heart knowing that she was truly happy. The wedding goes by in a blur. One second Erin's glancing at Jay and the next she hears clapping, and sees the guests of the wedding rise to their feet. Clark has Annie in his arms and the newly married couple pulls away after their signifying kiss. Her closest childhood friend was now happily married.

The wedding party is cheering happily. Annie and Clark are facing the crowd and she's blushing intensely. Yesterday and this morning was the busiest point in her life. She wanted to make sure everything was perfect. She didn't want anything out of place…and if there was something wrong, Erin fixed it without her knowledge. Annie didn't want a bachelorette party. She just wanted to spend girl time with Erin and Clara.

"We're supposed to head into the banquet room for the reception." She hears Clara whisper into her ear. Erin needed to get a grip. She wasn't focused. Annie deserved her undivided attention.

The groomsmen are introduced followed by the bridesmaids and then ending on the newly married couple. Annie and Clark are sitting in the center with their wedding party sitting around them. The food is served. The music is playing softly in the background. Erin wants to wait to eat. She didn't want to stand in the long line of hungry people.

"You look beautiful. Purple is definitely your color."

"You really think so?" She looks up to be met with Landon's eyes, "…maybe if it was darker, but this shade of purple is so light. That's not me." She shrugs, "I'm only wearing it for Annie."

"You're not hungry?"

She stares forward and sees Burgess nudging Jay in her direction. She didn't want him to come speak to her unless he wanted to. She didn't want for anyone to force someone to do something they didn't want to do.

"Yeah, I was just going to let the line go down some."

"I can make you a plate. I know what you like."

Erin glances up at him, "You would do that?"

"Of course." He squeezes her shoulder gently, "I would do anything for you." Landon gives her a wink of the eye as he makes his way towards the long line.

It's the reception. She doesn't remember the last time she attended a wedding. Was it hers? Was it Burgess and Ruzek's wedding? She didn't know. She felt uncomfortable. She felt her attention being pulled in all different directions. Lindsay sees Clark's family in the line, chuckling and posing for pictures. She watches Annie and Travis join them. For some odd reason, she didn't feel like she belonged. Erin knew Annie longer than anyone in the room, but that wasn't enough. Her closest friend was moving on with her life, but mentally, Erin was stuck. She was stuck trying to scrape together as many memories as she can. Tomorrow Annie and Clark are leaving for their weeklong honeymoon.

Erin sees Jay finally give in to Burgess and begin walking in her direction. Before he could approach her, she rises to her feet and walks off. If he wanted to talk to her, he shouldn't have needed Burgess to give him a push. Lindsay approaches the family of Clark and now Annie, "Hey." Annie's eyes grow wide in excitement.

"Oh good, you came over!" Annie takes a hold of her friend's hand, "I want you in the photos too Erin. Come on," she wraps her arm around Lindsay's waist, "We'll get one of just us, and then one of us with everyone else…oh, and I also want one with you and Travis."

As she smiles for the various flashing cameras, Lindsay notices Jay in her peripheral vision. He's watching her. He feels left out. He glances at Bunny and notices her watching him, completely amused. He hated that woman. Halstead turned and walked back to Burgess and Ruzek.

"I'm sorry Jay," Burgess sighs, as he took a hold of his seat, "just look at the bright side though, today or tomorrow she's moving back in with you."

"You're right," he agrees. He had completely forgotten the promise Erin made to him. Jay could watch her socialize with everyone because at the end of the day, she was coming back to him.

"Hey Erin," he hears Landon shout her name from the opposite side of the banquet room. He's holding two full plates in his hand, "You recognize this song?" He sits the plates down at her table, "We have to dance."

Lindsay's eyes immediately fall onto Jay's. She did recognize the song. It was the first song she and Landon had ever danced to…and Halstead knew that. Before they started dating, Erin shared all types of stories with him, and he did the same with her.

Landon rushes over to her, and grabs her hand. The dance floor was flooded with a few couples, but not many were actually dancing. Most were just moving around and bouncing awkwardly. Burgess looked at her husband, "Are you going to ask me to dance?"

"You want to dance to this mess?"

"Yes," she smacks his arm, "I didn't dress up for nothing Adam. I want to dance!"

Ruzek rises to his feet and offers his hand to his wife, "May I get this dance milady?" She doesn't answer. She simply places her hand in his and allows him to pull her onto the dance floor. Seconds later, Olinsky pulled his daughter onto the floor as his dancing partner. And following that, Voight went to go stand in the shortened line to make his plate.

Halstead had lost his appetite. He wasn't in the mood for dancing. He was ready to leave and take Erin with him. He wanted to get back to reminding his wife why she fell in love with him. He sees Erin dancing with Landon. The thought of him was forgotten. She was enjoying herself…and she deserved to because out of everyone in this room, she's been through the most.

"Here," he sees an alcoholic drink set down in front of him, "You look like you need it."

He pushes it away, "I don't resort to alcohol to solve my problems."

"Look," Bunny pulls out a chair and takes a seat in it, "It's time you let us take it from here. I know you're drowning in debt because you can barely pay for her medical bills. Let us worry about that. Let us try to pay it. Cut your losses. Divorce her."

He looks at her in disbelief, "You're such a hypocrite." He doesn't want to bring drama to Annie's wedding and he therefore had to remind himself to keep his voice low, "You never tried to put things right with Erin in all the time after you hurt her! You want me out of her life because you know if I'm in it, she'll remember me eventually. You're afraid that she'll remember everything, including whatever the hell you and Landon did to her. You're a coward Bunny."

"She loves Landon, Jay."

Jay smirks, "No she doesn't."

"I know my daughter."

"And I know my wife."

Bunny bites down upon her lower lip, "She'll cut her losses with you eventually. It's just a matter of time. I got her a job at the diner so she can work with me."

"I know Erin, and if you did too, you would know, working in a diner is not something she would want to do. It's not her. You think you know your daughter, and maybe you did, but the Erin you knew years ago is different than the Erin now."

"She'll come around to working at the diner eventually."

"You don't care about anyone, but yourself. You say you're doing this for Erin, but it's all lies. You're doing this for you. You're a horrible parent…not my words; those are the words of your daughter when she had every memory. Erin doesn't know what she wants right now, and you're taking advantage of that, but it won't be for long. I'll make sure of it."

Bunny takes the drink she offered him and chugs it back. It burns the back of her throat, but it offers her just enough spice to respond calmly, "You can sit there and insult me all you want, but at the end of the day, I'm in her life and I always will be. When Landon, Teddy and I came back to town years ago, you and Voight tried to keep Erin from seeing us."

"…because you're a bad influence."

"She wanted to cut ties with us because of whatever you and Voight said to her!"

He crosses his arms, "All we did was help her see the real you."

"…but she didn't," Bunny smirks knowingly, "she told us that she told you and Hank that she wouldn't see us anymore. She needed us then…and she needs us now. All Erin did was lie so she could sneak out and hang with us, especially after Nadia died. Now she did all of that with her memories. She lied to you when she had her memories. Maybe the Erin you thought you knew wasn't Erin at all."

Jay won't lie. It hurt to know Lindsay deliberately lied to him and Voight just so she could continue sneaking around and hanging with the two people they warned her away from. It may have hurt, but he refused to allow Bunny to see that. "Eventually she came to her senses because she cut you off."

Bunny shrugs, "Landon screwed up. I played damage control. Maybe Erin was always supposed to lose her memories so we could all get another chance again."

"Listen here Bunny," Jay rose from his seat, and towered over the older woman, "I don't know what you, Landon and Teddy did to her because obviously you all have a little fight club going on, but I'm warning you," he struggles to keep his hands from clenching, "if one of you hurt her, if and when I find out, I'll make you pay. And if you hurt Erin again, I swear, you'll regret ever coming back into her life," Voight arrives to the table just as Halstead departs from it.

Jay storms out of the banquet room. Luckily everyone was too preoccupied with eating, drinking and dancing to even notice him leaving. He walked down the hallway and entered another empty banquet room. He had to get away from her. Bunny knew how to get under his skin, just like she knew how to get under Voight's. Halstead's hand slams upon a table, "Hey," he hears the unwanted voice of Landon enter the empty banquet room, "Bunny said she talked to you." He closed the door behind him, "If you want, I can introduce you around. You sitting at the table in there by yourself made you look a little creepy."

"No," Jay rubs his reddened knuckles, "I'm waiting for Erin."

"Good luck with that," Landon chuckles.

Halstead rose from his seat and approached the slightly younger man, "You're loving this, aren't you?"

"A little," Landon holds his fingers up a pinch.

"Well guess what," Jay smirks, standing eye to eye with Landon, "Erin told me everything about you. Before we started dating, she told me how she would wake up at night asking herself is this all there is? She knew that to escape from that lifestyle, she needed to escape from you. You were a bad influence. Voight may have told her to stay away from you, but she didn't object."

A smug grin spread across Landon's face, "Well, did she also tell you how she threw herself at me the other day?"

"Erin outgrew you before, and she will again."

"Really?"

"Yeah," Jay nods.

"Oh okay, I'll think about that while I'm in bed with your wife." The moment the words left Landon's mouth, Jay's already clenched fist raised into the air and struck his face. The second impact was made was the same second Erin entered the banquet room.

Landon grabs his split lip after he falls to the ground. Lindsay, standing in her high heels, rushed up to her fallen friend, "Hey, are you okay," she stoops low to glance at his mouth before looking up at Jay, "What is wrong with you?!"

"Me…what's wrong with him!"

"…maybe this was a bad idea," Erin argued, rising to her feet, "…maybe me giving you a second chance was wrong…maybe we're no longer supposed to be together."

"Because I punched your little boyfriend, you're second guessing our entire marriage?"

"You had no right to hit him!"

Jay steps back, angrily, "You should have heard what he said about you!"

"That still gave you no right!"

"Are you serious?" Jay is in disbelief. He had thought that he knew Lindsay, and now he's second guessing all of that. Maybe Bunny is right. Maybe she knew her daughter better than he knew his wife. Halstead runs his hand down his face, "Are you saying that because you truly feel that way or are you just trying to protect your boyfriend?"

"Are you jealous?" She squints her eyes.

"You want to be with Landon, Erin." He states precisely. Jay takes her hands in his, "He wants you, but I love you. He deserved that punch."

"Oh really," she pulls her hands out of his.

"Let's be honest with one another for a second. We need to be realistic." He glances at Landon push himself up from the floor, "Your memory isn't coming back…and you're okay with that. You don't want it to come back because of your feelings for Landon. You want to be with him. You were just too afraid to tell me…but I guess that's my problem, huh?" She says nothing. Erin simply listens to his words, "How do I look at the girl I love and tell myself that it's time to walk away?" Jay maneuvered around Erin and Landon and began walking towards the door, "You lied to me when we were dating. You told me and Voight that you wouldn't see Landon or Bunny, but you snuck off and you did. You've always had a soft spot for him…until he screwed up," he looks at her sadly, "but Erin, he's going to screw up again and I don't want you to get hurt because of it."

"I'm a big girl. I can handle it."

"Yeah," he begins opening up the door, "I hope that's true. Goodbye Erin."

As the door slams behind him, she feels an unwanted weight press down upon her shoulders. The choice of choosing between Landon and Jay was no longer there and she felt horrible about it. She looked to Landon nursing his lip, "What did you say to him?"

"I told him to not pressure you into remembering anything. It'll come on it's own. I told him that I love you and he didn't take that well," Landon extends his hand and when she doesn't take it, he drops it, "It's Annie's wedding. Let's not talk about this now. Let's enjoy ourselves."

He was right. The only reason she was willing to put all of this behind her, for now, was because of Annie. Annie deserved happiness.

"You're right." She takes a hold of his hand when he reoffered it again.

Landon led her out of the room, "Are you still moving back in with him?"

"No, I don't think the offer still stands."

Erin opens the door and sees Voight leaning against the wall across from the exit. She sees him waiting for her, and he waves her over the moment she and Landon depart from the banquet room. Her head is hung low as she approaches him, "I screwed up."

Voight wraps his arms around her, "Hey," he leans back and smiles at her, "you got this. Take it one day at a time and always remember that I have your back…always."

"You have my back," she repeats in a whisper.

His words repeat continuously through her head. You have my back. It repeats once, twice, a third time and then a fourth. Those words are familiar to her, and without fighting her mind, she allows her thoughts to link it to when she's heard those words before. She's graduating from the academy. She remembers seeing the smiling faces of Hank, Camille, Justin, Olinsky, Lexi and Meredith. Each person was truly happy for her and the distance she's come in life. Voight said those words to her that day. He was going to be with her every step of the way as an officer. He promised her and he promised Camille that he will always have her back.

"Hey kid," he snaps her out of her memory, "you okay? You kind of zoned off there."

Erin couldn't respond. Her memories were in overload. They seemed to pick up right where the last one left off. She remembers the hiring process, and Voight's exquisite letter of recommendation that got her hired in a different police district. She was a patrol officer for a few years…until she got injured on the job. Erin had received a minor concussion, but that was enough for Voight to do everything in his power to get her transferred to his district. Once she started working out of the same precinct as him, he was able to keep a close watch on her. During the year of her transfer, Justin started getting into trouble, Camille passed away and Olinsky and Meredith's marriage started falling apart. Also, during her year she eventually had enough skill, training and experience for Hank to promote her into Intelligence. A smile stretches across her face as the memories continue. She remembers meeting Sheldon, Jules and Antonio because they had worked there long before she did.

"Erin," Hank has no idea what's going on with her. Her eyes are staring off into the distance as if she's daydreaming. He motions his hand, side to side, in front of her unsteady vision as a small smile creeps upon her face, "You alright?"

Lindsay says nothing as holes in her memory begin to fill in. She remembers the first couple of months working under Voight. She thought it was the best thing to ever happen to her. However, soon enough, a last memory begins to play through her head. Hank was looking to hire better, respectable cops and Dawson had one in mind. Jay Halstead had become her partner and now husband. He was brought in a few months after she started working under Voight.

Hank isn't talking anymore. He's slowly waiting for her to snap out of whatever she's doing. And while Erin wanted the memories to continue, they suddenly stopped. She blinked rapidly. Her last memory ended the day she met Jay.

"What just happened?"

"I remembered something," she's smiling widely, as Landon approaches her, "I remember graduating from the police academy. I remember Dawson and Jules now. I remember working for you. I remember a lot Hank. I even remember Jay a little."

"What's your last memory?" He needed to know just so he could be aware of how much was left for her to remember.

"…the day Jay started working in Intelligence."

Voight thought back. Her memory surpassed her childhood. It went through her teenage years, and now her memories enveloped her young adult years. Voight was happy. She was slowly finding her way back to the Erin he knows and loves.

"…that was about eight years ago. You're making progress," he pulls her into a hug, "You were twenty at the time. You and Jay started dating when you were both around twenty-two. You both got married at twenty-four. You're slowly remembering Erin and that's great."

"What if it's not?"

Hank steps back, confusedly, "What do you mean? I thought you wanted to remember."

"I do," she takes a side look at Landon before continuing, "Jay and I just had a fight and-"

"He won't stay mad at you. He loves you. He's just frustrated because he wants what's best for you." Voight wraps his arm around her shoulders and begins to lead her back towards the reception, "I bet you if you told him you remembered something, he'll be happy for you."

"I don't want to do that here. Today is about Annie…not me. I'm going to finish having fun and then maybe when I get home I'll call Antonio. I remember him now. I want to catch up with him and see how he and his family are doing."

"I'm pretty sure he'll enjoy hearing from you."

"…one can only hope."

The father and daughter stepped back into the banquet room. Annie was dancing with her son after finishing up her dance with her husband. Clark's parents were on the floor dancing. Clara was dancing with her fiancée. Burgess and Ruzek were coupled up on the floor and Jay was nowhere in sight. Voight turned to look at Erin, "Jay's gone, but if you can keep up, your old man would like a dance."

She glumly nodded and took a hold of his hand, "I don't deserve his forgiveness."

"…of course you do," he whispered as the father-daughter duo danced slowly on the floor.

"I remember one little thing involving him and that's it. He's still a stranger to me."

"You're slowly getting there. You have to take it one day at a time. You haven't remembered Burgess, Ruzek, Atwater or Mouse either. "

Her head rests upon his shoulder, "but none of them are my husband."


	17. The Session

Jay hears the tune of his and Erin's wedding song play in the background of his and Erin's wedding video. He's glum. He's given up. It falls quiet in the room as he chuckles light-heartedly, "When I first said I love you to Erin it came out on accident," he hears Burgess and Ruzek approach him. Burgess hands him a cup of tea as he continues, "We were undercover and we had to play a part, but the truth kind of came out. She didn't know I was serious until after the operation was over." Halstead takes a quiet sip before continuing, "Erin can be so oblivious sometimes. It took me having to say it again before it finally registered that I was serious during the investigation." He takes another sip, "We were always on and off when we first started dating because we had to sneak around, but the moment Voight gave us his approval, I knew it was a sign. Two weeks after we became official I told her I love you," he sets the warm mug down, "that's how long it took for me to know she's the one. And a week after that, she told me I love you, and that's how I knew it was real. It was only three weeks. It took her that long to figure out her feelings for me, and now…" he takes a deep breath, "She doesn't love me now."

"You don't know that," Burgess takes a comforting seat beside him, "Erin hates when we put words in her mouth. If she didn't say that, don't say that she did."

"I've told her countless times that I love her, but she hasn't said it back. Sometimes silence is enough. Silence tells me everything that I need to know."

Her mug is resting in the palms of her hands, "You guys can't break up. Voight told you…he told us that she remembered more. She called Antonio. They talked for over an hour catching up on stories of them working together."

"She doesn't remember me though."

"She does a little," Burgess sets her mug down, "that has to count for something. She remembers meeting you. She knows you became her partner. You have to give it time. She woke up two months ago and she only remembers her memories until the age of twenty. It's slowly coming back Jay. Please…you have to be patient."

"I've been patient," he rises to his feet, "I've been so patient."

"She just needs more time."

"How much?"

Burgess says nothing.

"You can't tell me, can you?" Her silence provides him with an answer, "Another week? Another month? A year? Two? Five? Ten? Fifty? How many Burgess? It's one thing if I wait around for a woman who wants to remember, who doesn't have Bunny and Landon in her life and is willing to give me a try, but it's next to impossible to convince her. I have to come to terms with losing her. She wants Landon."

"No she doesn't."

"Yes…she does."

"Are you putting words in her mouth again?" Burgess defends her friend. She knows Erin. The two have shared things with one another that no one else knew. They were best friends for a reason…and Burgess wasn't going to give up on that.

Ruzek stood quietly during the conversation between his wife and best friend. He wasn't the best at cheering people up. He could crack jokes to ease the awkwardness and tension in the room, but now wasn't the time for that.

"Jay, Erin loves you so much. Everyone knows it. Any time we went out to have our girls night out, she always brought you up. She couldn't stop talking about you. She always looked forward to getting home to you and that's because she loves you. She's said it. She's announced it to the world. She loves you so much."

"And I love her too. I will always love her."

"But?"

"…but I need to be realistic. Erin's not coming back. If she were, she would be here right now."

"You'll have to see her again. She'll be returning to work soon." Burgess reminds.

"…not if Bunny has her way."

Burgess and Ruzek were completely caught up on the conversation Jay had with Bunny. Burgess was pissed and wanted to confront Bunny, but she didn't want to push Erin closer to her mother. It was an unfortunate situation they were in. Only time would tell whether they make it out or not and that was something Jay didn't want to wait around for. Here Jay was confessing his emotions, drowning his sorrow in tea and admitting things that he didn't want to while Erin was probably at home on a date with Landon. Fortunately enough, she wasn't.

Erin is lying back on her mother's couch with her cell phone pressed against her ear. She's talking with Annie who had returned yesterday from her honeymoon. Annie had just filled her in on everything she and Clark did, and the moment she finished, she wanted to know about Erin and all that she has missed. Erin admits the memories that came back to her at her friend's wedding. She remembered she and Jay becoming partners and having each other's backs, but that was it.

"You should call and tell him."

Lindsay shakes her head, "Voight told him."

"When did you see Voight?"

"Yesterday, for lunch…"

"And?"

Erin pouts, "There's nothing to say. Jay just said that's good and went back to work."

"…maybe he was working on a serious investigation."

"No," Erin shakes her head, "that day was a slow day. They had Taser renewal training. We're over Annie."

"No you're not."

"Yeah, we are. He doesn't want me anymore."

"Now I know you're lying," Annie is assertive in her words. She's cooking dinner while Clark was at work. Annie was off of work today and decided to treat her husband to a nice home cooked meal, "Jay would never give up…not on you. He's not that type of guy. When it comes to Erin Lindsay, he's determined. He loves you girl. That will never change."

"…but it did."

The young detective sighs solemnly. Even though she didn't remember, she wanted things to go back to before. She wanted it to go back to when times were simpler. She wanted to remember Jay, she really did, but it was hard. Erin couldn't control the memories her brain allowed to play through, but she kept hearing it was her fault on why she couldn't remember. If she had the option, she would choose to have her memories back. If she was trying to push them away, she was doing it unknowingly.

"…earth to Erin."

Lindsay snaps out of her reverie, "Yeah Annie, I'm still here. I'm sorry, what's up?"

"Are you really okay?"

"Of course," Erin annunciates her words, struggling to express the mock happiness and comfort in her mood. She didn't remember Jay, but she missed him. It felt like the moment he left, a part of her left with him.

"I've known you for years," Annie's smile falters as she temporarily steps away from the food she's cooking, "I can tell that something is wrong."

"It's just," Erin hesitates briefly, "I'm kind of enjoying this time with my mom. She's a little high strung, but…I'm okay with that."

"What about Landon?"

Lindsay takes a long blink "…Landon can be a bit too pushy. He doesn't really like the word no. I don't know," she shrugs, "…maybe I'm making a big deal out of nothing."

"No, don't fight your instincts. You told me that! If I had listened to you, Charlie would have been out of our lives." Annie resumes cooking, "Hey! I was just thinking…How about you call that doctor you met? The…the psychiatrist"

Erin hears noise in the background of the phone call, "Are you talking about Dr. Charles?"

"Yeah…yeah, him! He should be able to help you, right?"

Lindsay considers the idea. It wasn't a bad one. She met him a few days ago during her last visit to see Dr. Rhodes. Apparently, after Nadia's death she used to see him for frequent sessions. The two were highly familiar with one another and he knew a lot about her life.

"I think I will go see him," Erin quickly ends the call with her friend. The two hang up after setting up a time later in the week to hang out and grab something to eat in downtown Chicago. Lindsay sends her mother and Landon a quick text before grabbing her keys and thin jacket and racing out of the door. Erin may have needed to make an appointment, but she was going to only hope that he had enough time to fit her in for an emergency.

Jay awakes from the couch to the aroma of food filling his home. He sees Ruzek sitting across from him, drinking a cold beer, as Burgess is nowhere to be seen. "Where's," Jay wipes his groggy eyes, "Where's Kim?"

"…in the kitchen?"

"She cooked," Jay turned around to be met with bags of takeout food.

"Oh hell no," Adam jokes, rolling his eyes, "Kim can't cook to save her life."

"Ruzek!" Burgess watches as her husband throws his hands into the air in surrender. He had more to say, but from the look on his wife's face, he chose against voicing it. Kim walks out of the kitchen, holding two plates filled with food, "Here you go Jay."

Adam sits his beer down, "Hey, where's mine?"

"You can go make your own plate."

Halstead takes a hold of the plate, "Thanks Kim, but you really didn't have to do this."

"Yes I did," She sits and sets her plate down upon her lap, "Erin's family. You're family. You two would do the same thing if the situation was reversed. Now, dig in before your food gets cold." She lifts her fork and begins to eat.

Adam walks into the kitchen and begins making his plate. He watches his wife and best friend eat as he scoops food onto his plate, "You know I was just joking babe."

"I know," she winks at him, "but it wouldn't hurt if you made your own plate. Would it Jay?"

Jay dropped his fork onto his plate. He didn't expect to be pulled into his friends' minor quarrel, "Um, do what works for you guys. Erin and I never really had a system. I sometimes made the plates, she sometimes made the plates, or we both made our own plates at the same time."

"That's actually a really good idea. We should start doing that. Shouldn't we Adam?"

"Yeah I guess," he takes a hold of his plate and begins walking into the living room.

Halstead resumed eating his meal when he heard the front door open. Besides Ruzek and Burgess, the only other people with keys were Will and Voight. It had to be one of them since he knew it wouldn't be Erin.

"It's me," he heard Hank's voice shout as he closed the door behind him.

"What's with all the visitors?"

Burgess pats his shoulder, "We're just making sure you're okay."

"Yeah," Ruzek nudges his friend's side gently, "break ups can be hard."

"They didn't break up." Kim reminded, she set her empty plate down, "You guys didn't break up. I refuse to believe that."

Hank walked into the adjourning living room, dining room and kitchen. He spotted Jay, Adam and Kim sitting on the couch, "Halstead," Voight went into his pocket and withdrew a pair of keys, "I'm here to return these." Hank tossed them into Jay's lap, "They're Erin's keys. She returned them to me yesterday."

"You saw her yesterday?" Kim's ears perk up at the mention of her best friend, "How is she? She hasn't been answering any of my phone calls, which I understand," Burgess rises to her feet, "I mean…she barely knows me. She doesn't remember me so it's like a stranger is constantly calling her, which is borderline creepy and-"

"She's fine Burgess," Voight interrupts Kim's rambling.

Jay stands and tosses the keys onto the coffee table, "She just gave them back? She didn't say anything at all…she just handed them to you."

"She asked about you."

"That's something," Burgess shouts excitedly, "What else did she say?"

Voight set his hand upon Jay's shoulder, "I can tell she still cares about you. We talked about you most of the time."

"I knew it. I knew Erin didn't want to give up."

"I didn't say that," Hank interrupted, dropping his hands from Jay's shoulder, "I just don't want you to get your hopes up too high, it'll only lead to heartbreak if she doesn't come back."

"It's going to lead to heartbreak regardless."

Voight took in Jay's words. He could see the clear distress and heartbreak in his features. All Voight has ever wanted for Erin was for her to be happy. Even if he didn't always agree with her methods, as long as it didn't hurt her and kept the smile on her face, he was all for it. The Lindsay before the accident truly loved Jay, and for the moment, she was vulnerable and she didn't remember how she was before the incident. It was up to her family to guide her, and be there for the ones she loved until she could return completely.

"I invited Erin to move in with me."

Halstead furrows his brows, "And what was her answer?"

"She didn't give me one. She said she'll think about it."

"Well, that's something," Jay shrugs, walking over to the fridge. He was in need of a beer. The young detective opened the fridge door and grabbed a beer, "If she won't live here, I'd rather her live with you. Anywhere is better than living with Bunny and Landon." Halstead grabs his drink, heads back over to the couch and flops down upon it. He just wanted to clear his mind, and sitting back on the couch, with a cold beer in his hand was going to attempt to do just that.

Lindsay is sitting on the couch in the dimly lit office of Dr. Charles. She didn't need to make an appointment. The great doctor was kind enough to fit her in right away. He hadn't spoken to her in a professional capacity since Nadia's death. If she didn't reach out, he was going to…he just didn't want to pressure her into speaking with him.

"What brought you here today?"

"I was talking to one of my friend's, Annie and she suggested it," She says the name and it registers for him. Erin has spoken of Annie before in a prior session, "Dr. Charles, I just want my memories back…all of them. I don't want to depend on someone to tell me how I was, what I liked to do, who I talked to on a regular basis, etc. I want to be able to know those things and make those decisions myself. Am I making sense?"

He nods, "You certainly are."

"I want your help."

Dr. Charles leans back in his seat. Erin's medical file resting closed upon his desk. He searches her face for any hints of doubt because he needed her to be completely forthcoming and ready for anything he suggests.

"Will told me the last thing you remember."

"Does everyone know?" Her eyes widen at the thought. This was private. She didn't want for people to be gossiping about her, her memories and her current diagnosis.

"Who do you want to talk about?"

"…Nadia."

"Oh, interesting decision," Dr. Charles nods along, preparing himself to take over the conversation, "Do you remember anything about her?" Erin shakes her head, "Okay, I want you to close your eyes for a second. I'm going to talk with you about your past because that is what you used to connect with Nadia, okay?"

She sits up straight, nods, "Okay," and she closes her eyes.

"Now," Dr. Charles intertwines his fingers and sets his hands against his desk, "when you were a little girl you moved in with Voight." He sees her nod as he continues, "Why is that?"

"My mother was unfit and my father was in prison."

He already knows the answer, but he wants to pry into her mind, into her memories to open the floodgates up for more recollections, "Why is that?"

"My father wasn't a good man. I didn't know much about him. My mom, she tried at least, but she was too into alcohol and drugs to actually mother me."

"Is that what brought you into Voight's path?"

"…kind of. I guess the apple doesn't really fall far from the tree. I started hanging with the wrong crowd and I got into drugs too. I was arrested a few times and Voight was there for me."

"He helped you?"

"He did," Erin nods, and something in her mind clicks, "And I think that's why I wanted to help Nadia. I wanted to be to her what Voight was to me." The previous times Lindsay remembered something, her whole body halted as the variety of memories played through her head. In this situation, when she remembered something it didn't play through her mind like a movie. It was just inserted into her head like it was always there. She reopened her eyes, "Nadia was into drugs…and I got her off of the streets. I helped her. She went into rehab."

"She sure did, and she couldn't have done it without your help." Dr. Charles' demeanor is calm and kind. He's gentle in his words and he genuinely cares about helping her. He puts on his glasses, "Should we continue with Nadia?" At the nod of her head, he continues, "When Voight took you in, what did he help you with?"

"…everything, school and finding out what I wanted to do with my life."

"In comparison to Nadia," he pushed forward, prying into her memories. And at the hard look on her face, he could tell she was trying to remember, "Don't force them Erin. They won't come."

"I helped Nadia realize she wanted to be a cop. We got her record cleaned up. I gave her a place to stay and I got her a job at the precinct."

Her memory of Nadia was coming to her easier with the help of Dr. Charles. If she knew it would be this easy, she would have come to him a long time ago. Erin sat back and closed her eyes as Dr. Charles continued with his questioning, "Do you remember your good times with Nadia?" She smiles and nods. She truly does remember helping her, and rooming with her at her old apartment. He clasps his hands together, "That's good Erin, but do you remember what happened to Nadia?"

"I know she died."

"How do you know that?"

"Jay told me."

"What about her death do you know?"

Erin sadly sighs, "She was killed by a deranged psychopath."

"Do you want to explore her death?"

"No, can we talk about Teddy now? I don't think I'm ready for that conversation just yet."

"Of course," Dr. Charles agrees. She was in charge of this session; he was just here to guide it. He sees her eyes still shut and decides to pry back into her memories, "What do you know about Teddy? What do you remember about him?"

"Teddy had disappeared when Voight took me in. I really don't know what happened to him, but I heard that he came back in my life only to leave again."

"You rescued him Erin."

"I did," she says it more like a question. She thinks hard and the memory of Teddy in New York begins to flood her mind. He had been involved in one of the worst crimes imaginable. He had been a victim, "I did." She says it more confidently now, "I remember. I brought him back to Chicago after finding him in New York."

As she thinks about Teddy's case, she begins remembering some of her prior cases she has worked on. The cases that stuck with her the most, the victims of those cases both dead and alive, and the outcome of the cases were inserted into her mind without much effort. Even memories of briefly working for federal law enforcement and the few cases she did with them were implanted back into her memory. The relaxing atmosphere, the dim lighting and Dr. Charles calm mood were all variables that played into the free flow of memories that came back.

"Do you want to continue talking about Teddy?"

She shakes her head, "I actually," she's a bit hesitant; "I actually want to talk about Jay."

"What about him do you want to talk about?"

"I want to remember him."

A small grin falls upon Dr. Charles face, "You remember meeting him?"

"I do…and I remember working on cases with him. It's the romantic stuff and the stuff outside of work that I don't remember."

"You've been on a date with him since the accident. What about him that you love did you learn from that date?"

Erin thinks briefly, "He's kind. He's loyal. He's determined and compassionate. He's handsome. I don't remember much about him, but I do feel like he always has my back. He's my partner. I know I'm not the easiest person to be around, but he hasn't given up…at least he didn't give up right away. I can't say the same now."

"You said he always has your back."

"Yeah, he's-" Erin cuts her words off at the thought. She visualizes herself a wrecked mess and Jay trying to be there for her. She's devastated over Nadia's death, and he's there for her every step of the way. She breaks out of her reverie, "he's great Dr. Charles and I wish I could be half the woman he deserves."

"Hey, don't talk down about yourself. You're going to remember Erin. You just need time." Dr. Charles rises from his seat, walks around his desk, and leans against the front of it, "The look on your face, did you remember something?"

"He was there for me after Nadia's death. He didn't give up on me then."

"And he's not giving up on you now."

Erin drowns Dr. Charles out unintentionally as she soaks in his words. He's not giving up on her. He didn't then and he won't now. She remembers working with him. She remembers their professional relationship and how they had each other's backs. Erin remembers the moment their relationship changed for the better. He had asked her out…and she accepted.

"I remember Jay asking me out," Erin interrupts Dr. Charles' words, "I can see him asking me out. We fooled around before then, but," she's thinking hard, ", but this time was different. This time we both wanted a serious relationship." Dr. Charles nods along as he listens to her restate her memory with Jay, "And I," her words hesitate as her closed eyes flashes back to one of the moments that changed her life forever, "I said I love you."

"When he asked you out?"

"No," Erin shakes her head, "it was a few weeks after we started dating. I remember that Dr. Charles," she opens her eyes gleefully and begins clapping her hands excitedly; "He said I love you and I said it too!" Erin flashes to the moment he proposes in their shared apartment. She even feels the moment freeze on the day she got married. "I don't want to get too excited Dr. Charles and jinx myself, but I remember my husband…not everything of course, but I remember him. I remember him proposing, and saying I love you. I remember marrying him Dr. Charles!"

"You're making great progress."

"I remember loving him because I still do," her heart rate erratically increases, "I still love my husband, but…" she sighs dramatically, "I think it's over between us."

"I'm no marriage counselor Erin, but I will tell you not to give up. You have to try. You owe it to yourself and Jay."

"… but I still don't remember everything."

"Involving what?"

"I don't know what my mom and Landon did to make me cut them out of my life. There's like a gap in my memory…and no matter how hard I think about it, I can't remember it. I ask, but I don't get any answers. It's like that moment in time will never come back."

"You need to immerse yourself freely if you want the rest of your memories back."

Lindsay stands up from the couch and she approaches the doctor. His voice is calm as he continues his expert advice, "You need to let go of what you think you'll find out. Your mind is protecting you right now. It's forcing that one specific memory to remain at the bottom. Let go of the fear because you're afraid right now of what you'll discover. Immerse yourself around Bunny and Landon so you can get the truth. If they won't tell you, then you'll have to find out on your own. Continue to stay with them, if one says something questionable; try to get them to expand on it. They'll say or do something that will trigger it. Trust me. Everything done in the dark will always come to the light."

"You're right," Erin nods, "Thank you Dr. Charles."

As she departs from his office, she feels like a new woman. She went in with only a few memories and she left out with most of them. All Erin wanted to do was remember everything. Every aspect whether good or bad, big or small, she wanted to remember. She wanted to quickly find out the cause of her pushing Bunny and Landon away so she could go home. She already wasted enough time away from her husband; she didn't want to waste anymore. The sooner she remembered the better. Once she knew the truth, she could go home and plead with Jay for forgiveness.

The young detective is in her car, driving home…well, back to her mother's apartment. As she's stopped at a red light, she phones Voight through the speakers of her car. It barely rang one time before he answered, "Erin, hey! Have you put anymore thought into moving in with me?"

"I need to stay with Bunny and Landon."

"You don't need to…"

"I do," she's merging into traffic as she prepares to take the exit, "I'll be back though."

"When?"

"…soon. I promise."

"Alright Erin, I hope you know what you're doing."

When she and Voight hang up, she releases a breath of relief. She thought she was going to be tempted to tell Hank everything, but she kept her cool. Erin didn't want for anyone to know. Voight would try to change her mind, but if she didn't immerse herself into everything, she wouldn't remember. It'll be no one's fault, but her own.

Erin is getting closer to her mother's apartment. She decides to phone one more number. She decides to call Teddy. As the ringing of the call plays through the inside of her car, she waits patiently. Her fingers are tapping along the steering wheel as she waits for him to answer. He doesn't. All she is left with is his voice, asking the caller to leave a voicemail, "Hey Teddy, it's me. It's…Erin. Can you give me a call? It's important." She carefully parks her car, "I'm staying with Bunny and Landon. I don't know if you heard but a few months ago I was in an accident. I lost my memory, and I was calling you to see if you would be able to fill in a couple of holes." She places the vehicle in park, turns off the engine and steps out, "Alright Teddy. Please just call me back. Bye." She hangs up.

Lindsay shoves her cell into her pocket, and grips her keys. She could see her mother's car parked and she knew Bunny was home. Landon was working late today. She went up the stairs and approached the door to her mother's apartment. Before Lindsay can insert the key into the lock, the door is yanked open. Her mother greets her with a smile, "Welcome home! Here," she extends a drink towards her daughter, "Have a drink."

"Thanks, "Erin takes a hold of the alcoholic beverage.

"Where have you been sweetheart? I've been waiting here since I got off of work. I came home early to bond with my favorite daughter."

"I went for a drive around the city," Erin lies casually, sitting her purse and keys down onto the side table, "I just needed some fresh air. It can get a little cramped in here."

"Landon will be moving out soon. He just needs a few more weeks to get himself together." Bunny wraps her arm around Erin's shoulders, "I thought you two were hitting it off."

Erin nods, "We are. Hey mom, can I ask you a question?"

"You can ask me anything."

"How come you won't tell me what you and Landon did?"

Bunny drops her arm, "…because we're moving on and to move on you have to let go of what's in the past. We can't keep bringing it up."

"Shouldn't I be the judge of that?"

"Sweetie-"

"Mom, I want to move on too, but I can't because I don't know what I need to move on from. I might get mad, I might not, but we'll never know. You have to give me a chance to decide."

Bunny ignores her daughter's words. She gulps down the remainder of her drink, sets it down onto the table, and prepares to refill her glass, "You start working with me on Monday."

"No," Erin's voice isn't weak. It's stern. Even though Bunny didn't know, the vulnerable, memory-less Erin was gone. Her original, true self was here, "I'm not working at the diner with you. I wasn't born to be a waitress. I wasn't raised to work in a diner."

"I raised you Erin, I would know what-"

"Hank and Camille raised me. And I didn't go through the academy to be a waitress. I was meant to be a cop…and the moment I'm completely myself, I'm going back to work. There's nothing you can do about that." Lindsay takes her drink and walks into her mother's bedroom. She wasn't up for conversing anymore.


	18. The Truth

**Warning: The truth will be revealed this chapter. Violent scenes are present and implied.**

Four days ago her life changed for the better. Four days ago Erin had made the decision –per Annie's suggestion- to see Dr. Charles. He was truly an amazing psychiatrist. He worked wonders even in the tensest situations. It had been four days since Erin has spoken to Voight. He has called her, but she was taking Dr. Charles advice and immersing herself completely. Hank had left her a voicemail, she could officially return to work next week. It had also been four days since the first time Erin tried calling Teddy. Every day since, she phoned him at least three times throughout the day. His voicemail box was officially full and she could leave no more messages.

Erin stares out of the apartment window. The spaghetti straps on her dress clung securely on her shoulders. It had been a beautiful day today. Since it was the beginning of March, the worst of the weather was mainly over. Today was one of those days where the weather remained warm from morning to night. Lindsay even decided to take a walk around the neighborhood to enjoy it. She hears her phone ring and glances down at the name. It's Voight. She sends it straight to voicemail. Her phone was already dying in the first place and she needed to find her charger.

Lindsay felt a hand press against the small of her back. Her dark, forest green spaghetti strap dress framed her perfectly, and her bare feet curled into the carpet from the unwanted touch. She turned to face Landon, "Have you seen my phone charger?"

"Is it in the bedroom?"

That gave Erin a reason to pull away from his touch. In one hand he was nursing his sixth glass of scotch, and his other hand remained on her back, "I'll go check."

"I'll come with you."

Her mother was working late. This was around the time of the year where the diner picked up. It felt really good outside so more people were out and about. Erin took a seat against the side of her mother's bed, and plugged her phone into the charger. She felt the mattress shift as Landon took a seat next to her, "Your mother text me. She's pulling an all-nighter. So what should we do tonight to pass the time?"

"I was just going to turn in early."

"Erin, you're not eighty. Live a little," he smiles and nudges her with his shoulder.

She could smell the alcohol on his breath, "I'm not up for any partying today."

"…because you partied enough yesterday?" Landon is grinning from ear to ear.

A notification signaling Voight left a voicemail lit up her phone. Landon held his drink out and shook it gently in front of her, "Want a sip? It'll loosen you up some."

"No thanks," she pushes his hand away.

Landon chuckles, "Come on Erin," he holds the drink up to her mouth.

"I said no Landon," she pushes his hand away once again. The young detective rises to her feet and begins walking towards the door to exit her mother's bedroom, "I just want you to leave me alone. Is that too much to ask?"

"What's up with you?" He gets up and reaches for her wrist. The grip of his hand turns her around, "You've been acting weird lately. Did you remember something?"

"What kind of something?" she rips her wrist from his hold and crosses her arms, "Is there a reason why if I did remember something I would act a certain way towards you?"

"You need to lighten up," he laughs, and extends the glass once again, "Come on take a sip. Just a little one," He maneuvers closer towards her. The innocent look in his eyes relaxes her shoulders. She's no longer on edge. Landon may have done something to her, but she's known him most of her life. He couldn't have done something too horrible.

Erin and Landon are inches apart. She could smell the heat and alcohol radiating from his mouth. He's definitely intoxicated. Landon lifted his free hand and ran it through the strands of her brunette hair, "Hey," he smiles at the sound of her voice, "what happened between us?"

"That's not important," he brings his face even closer to where it previously was, "it's stupid really. You'll kick yourself when you find out."

"Okay, let me kick myself then. What happened?"

The moment the question was asked; Landon pressed his lips against hers. His glass of scotch slipped through his sweaty fingers and spilled onto Bunny's carpeted floor. The hand already in her hair, gripped the back of her head tighter.

Lindsay pulled back…at least she tried to pull back. The strength of Landon's hand pressed against the back of her head prevented too much maneuvering. His opposite hand found her waist and wrapped around. She tried to pull away again, "Landon," she struggles to say his name against his lips, "Stop…stop it." She musters up her strength, presses her hands against his chest and pushes him back.

A hungry look falls upon his eyes as he looks her up and down. He's taking in the sight of her. He likes her in forest green. It's a beautiful color on her. She rubs her fingers against her reddened lips, "You're drunk."

"…I'm not that drunk."

"What is this about?"

"You said," he extends his hand and takes a hold of her wrist, "you wanted to know what happened." His other hand grabs for her other wrist, "I'm just trying to show you." Before she could respond, his grip tightens and he pulls her closer. His lips immediately press upon hers again as his hands wander the exposed skin on her body and fabric covering it.

"Stop," she tries to push him away.

Landon shoves her back. Her body falls onto her mother's bed and she immediately crawls back. The overeager, intoxicated man kicks off his shoes and begins crawling towards her on the bed, "You've been pressing me, your mother…all of us for what we did to you! And now you want to back out! It doesn't work that way," he's gripping her ankles, and he pulls her form towards him, "Sometimes you get what you ask for!"

It was that moment, mixed with the intense look in his eyes that let her know he's no longer the Landon she knew as a teenager. He wasn't the man she used to date. This was an entirely different person…a stranger. Erin kicks forward, but he's too quick. And he finds it funny. Landon grips the bottom of her dress and begins to tug it upwards.

"Landon stop.! Stop this now," she's squirming beneath his hold.

He pulls at her strap and one of the spaghetti straps pop, "Oh come on Erin. You wanted this. Remember, you kept asking for it."

"No," her hands press against his chest and she tries to push him away, "Stop, okay! I don't want this! I don't want any of this! I just want to leave! We'll pretend this didn't happen if you just let me go!"

"You said that to me before," he kisses up her neck, "You said that to me the last time this happened, but you didn't drop it. You brought it up since your accident."

"…that's because I didn't remember it," She tries to knee him in the groin, but her legs are spread and she can't bend them, "I didn't know."

"I told you it was for the best, but you didn't listen to me!" He's shouting in her ear now. The alcohol in him is making him emotional. Landon draws his fingers gently up her bare leg and when he looks forward; Erin raises her hand and presses her thumb as hard as she can into his eyes. He draws back and out of instinct swings forward.

The hard hit of his fist strikes against her face. He's weak from the amount of strength he had to put into it, and she uses that to her advantage. Erin pushes him off of her. She eyes her phone but it's on the other side of the bed. She's closer to the door. It'll be easier to just make a run for it, but the moment her feet touch the ground, Landon is in front of her. It was like he was indestructible. He didn't stay down for long. Landon grips her neck and slams her against the wall. He's upset, "Why ask for something…and when I try to give it to you, you fight me?" Landon begins to hike up Erin's dress, and the moment she takes in everything, she knows she has to act, "Landon just listen to me." It's hard for her to speak because he tightens his grip around her throat, "Please. I thought you loved me."

"I do," he nods, using his one free hand to work the buckle of his belt, "I'm doing this because I love you. I don't want you to live a lie again."

"No, you're drunk. How about you sober up and then we'll talk about this?"

"Why do you always want to talk?"

She hears his belt come completely undone and she hears his pants fall to the ground. It was the worst timing. Between past and present, her memories, the one she had been trying to remember had come back. She sees Landon. She feels his hand around her throat both in the past and currently in the present.

Erin didn't get scared much, but she had to admit, she was frightened. She wanted to get out of here. She sees Bunny in her flashback, and then she sees Teddy. Erin tries to shake the memory out of her head. She didn't want to remember anymore. She changed her mind.

"Stop! Landon please don't do this," she's crying uncontrollably. Erin can hear the past Lindsay screaming for him to stop and for someone to help her, but then Teddy came. He stepped in. He kind of saved her. Erin remembers. She feels her dress start to slip. She only had one strap holding her outfit up. Lindsay begins to use her hands to hit anywhere upon his body, "I remember now! You don't have to do this! I remember why I cut you and Bunny out of my life!" He's not stopping. He has every intention to finish what he's started, but if it was up to Erin, she wouldn't allow it.

Landon removes his hand from around Erin's neck. He needed it for other reasons. And as he begins dropping his boxers, Lindsay uses the brief opening to her advantage, stretches her hand towards the nightstand, and grabs the lamp. Landon's standing before her, half naked, and grinning from ear to ear, and before he could press his body against hers again, she lifts the lamp and hits it across his face once, and then suddenly twice. Lindsay watched him fall. He was still alive. She could see him breathing. Her hands are shaking as she drops the lamp. Erin needed to get out of here. Her phone barely charged, but she still took it. Lindsay ran out of the bedroom, grabbed her keys and heels by the door and left.

Erin's a wreck. She earns glances from bystanders as she runs to her car. She unlocks her car door, hops inside and takes off. Her paranoid mind doesn't even bother to buckle herself in. Her hair is a mess, tears continually poured out, and her bare feet hurt pressed against the gas pedal. There was only one place she could think of going, and she only hoped that he would let her in. Lindsay is breathing hard. She glances up at the rearview mirror and takes in her face. A yellowish tint is on her cheek from the hard hit she took from Landon. A few shallow bruises are aligned on her neck from his hand. And the spaghetti strap of her dress dangled loosely and brokenly. The other strap was the only thing keeping her dress up.

Lindsay gets to her home in record time. She sped the entire way here. She remembered everything. There was no hole or block in her memory. Erin remembered all that had happened to her, but at what cost? Maybe she shouldn't have tried to remember, but her curiosity had gotten to the best of her. She hops out of the car, holding only her keys and her phone. Her shoes remained in the passenger seat. Erin's bare feet pressed quickly and heavily upon the pavement as she raced up to the front door, "Please be home." Her fist begins beating against the door over and over again. Lindsay no longer had her key. She had given it back to Voight to give to Jay a few days ago. She knocks as hard as she can. She's pleading for someone to answer, "Hello! Jay, are you home? It's me! It's Erin! Please answer!" She's continually knocking until her hand starts to turn red, and while she's in mid-knock, the door swings open.

Jay, Kim, Adam and Voight were all present with a look of fear, worry and concern plastered against their faces. She moves in a rush and steps into the house. Ruzek closes the door behind her. She's crying, "I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm so so sorry!" She wraps her arms around Jay and she holds onto him tightly. Oh how she's missed him…a lot. Erin can't help but to continue apologizing profusely to everyone, especially him.

"Hey Erin," Burgess tries to pry the inconsolable woman from Jay, "What's wrong?"

Lindsay looks at her best friend, "Kim! I'm sorry! I'm sorry for everything I put you through."

"You remember me?" She's confused, but at the feeling of Erin nodding against her shoulder, brightens her up.

Voight takes a gentle hold of Erin's arm, "Erin, what happened?"

She tries to respond. She is responding, but the mixture of her words, the sniffling and her tears makes her speech incoherent. Jay tugs at her wrist, and pulls her in close, "Hey, try to calm down. You're okay. You're here with us now. What happened?"

"What happened to your dress?" Adam notices it first. He points towards her broken spaghetti strap and this earns everyone's attention. She begins breathing hard. This was entirely too much.

Jay placed his hands against her shoulders, "Er, what happened to your dress?"

"I'm remembering everything right now and I can't control it." Her eyes are zoned out, "Every miniscule memory is being sorted in my mind right now. I know everything."

Halstead cups her face, and presses a gentle kiss against her forehead. It rested there for a few seconds before he pulled it back, "Just try to calm down. Take in a deep breath and let it out." She takes his advice, and he smiles when he notices that she's stopped crying, "What's wrong?"

"I remember."

"You remember," Voight speaks up from behind her, "You remember what?"

"…everything."

A small smile tugged at the corners of her lips, and with Jay's hands still resting against her face, she covers his hands with hers. She leans in and lightly presses her lips against her husband's, "I remember Jay. And I'm so sorry for what I put you through. Please forgive me. Please.

"Hey," He presses a kiss against the side of her head, "of course I forgive you. You don't even really have a reason to apologize in the first place. You didn't choose for any of this to happen."

"Erin, what happened?" Voight leads the conversation back. He couldn't drop the issue. He wanted to celebrate and be happy for her, but something happened, and Hank needed to know what it was, "What's wrong?"

"I…" she takes a look at everyone's face, "I remember what Bunny and Landon did."

Jay is holding her hand, "What did they do?"

Erin feels an internal struggle. She feels trapped. Burgess just wants to pull her friend into a hug. Ruzek just wants his old, sports pal back. Voight wanted to see her happy and he would never be able to erase the image of her crying and running into the house out of his mind. Jay wants to be alone with his wife because he deserved it. He deserves to have her to himself for right now. Erin remembered everything, including the reason why she didn't mention it to them originally.

"I can't tell you," her voice is low as she crosses her arms over her bare shoulders, "I want to move on. I have to move on."

"No," Jay refuses to accept that answer, "The last time we didn't know, this time we need to."

"What do you want to know?"

Burgess answers, "What they did to you…"

"What Landon did to me," Erin answers, slowly backing up. She felt everyone follow her to the living room, and when she took a seat, she continued, "What Landon did to me today or years ago?"

Ruzek decides to answer, "…both."

Lindsay decides to start with years ago in order for them to completely understand what he did today. And as she begins to tell the story, a flashback of it plays through her mind. _Erin is curled into her husband's arm as the young couple rest upon the couch in their old apartment. It was before they made the move to their condo. They were exhausted from a long day at work. It was a day mostly filled with paperwork and inventory. Once they arrived home, Jay suggested they watch a movie and order in._

" _I get to pick the next movie," Erin whispers, curling closer into Jay's side, "after this goes off, I want to watch something comedic."_

 _Jay presses a kiss against her forehead, "You have yourself a deal."_

 _As the action movie continues to play through the screen, Erin's cell rings from her pocket. She withdraws her cell from her pocket, presses ignore when she doesn't recognize the number, "This is the second time this number has called in the last five minutes."_

" _Who is it?" Jay ignores the movie in order to focus on Lindsay._

 _She shrugs, "I have no idea. It's not saved in my phone."_

 _A loud knock at the door pulls the couple apart as Lindsay's phone begins ringing again. As Jay moves his arm from around her, and rises to his feet, she decides to answer, "…maybe this person has the wrong number or something."_

" _Answer it to find out. I'll go pay for the pizza."_

 _Erin sits up and answers the call, "Hello."_

" _Hey Erin, it's me Teddy. I called you from a payphone outside of the club." He sounds to be out of breath, "We need your help." Teddy takes a short breath, "It's Landon. He, Bunny and I were out partying, drinking and smoking! He had too much. He's drunk again."_

" _No," she's whispering as she rises to her feet. Erin decides to take the call from the bedroom. Lindsay quietly closes the door behind her, "He has a problem Teddy. He's an alcoholic and he's a violent drunk. I cut my losses with you, Bunny and Landon a while ago."_

"… _only because Jay and Hank told you to do it."_

 _Erin sits at the edge of the bed, "They were right. They're only looking out for me. You, mom and Landon aren't good for me. When you guys came back in my life, it was fun, but I was spiraling because of Nadia's death. I've grieved. I'm good now. I don't want to go back."_

" _Erin we need you." Teddy is pleading with her._

" _I promised Jay and Hank that I would stay away."_

" _You have," he's nodding rapidly, "You have stayed away. You've ignored all of our calls. You don't answer the door when we come. You kept your word, but I need you. Landon is going to do something dangerous and you're the only one who can stop him."_

" _What about calling the cops?"_

" _You are a cop." He reminds, as the time on the phone was almost up, "Please Erin. He's already in trouble with the law. He'll listen to you. He actually cares about what you think of him."_

Lindsay temporarily breaks out of her flashback. Everyone is waiting for the next part. She only gave them a small part of the incident. Jay remains close to her. He had gotten her back. He had no desire of going anywhere else. Rubbing his hand against her back, he responds, "So Teddy was the mystery number. He called you from a payphone." The details of that day were coming back to him, and she was filling in the holes for him, "What happened after that Erin? You told me Annie needed you. You said she was having a nervous breakdown."

"I lied," she whispers, avoiding eye contact with everyone in the room, "I hated lying to you, but I knew you wouldn't let me go if I told you. I had to help them. I always have to help." It sounds like she's berating herself.

"What did they do? What did Bunny do?" Voight steers the conversation back onto topic.

Erin is nipping at her bottom lip, "She tried to cover everything up. She brushed it under the rug. She wanted to pretend that nothing happened…or that nothing almost happened."

"Brushed what?" Burgess pushed for a clear answer.

"…my attack."

"Wait." Ruzek fills the tense silence, "Rewind. You can't just drop a bomb like that and not clarify. What attack? What happened when you got to the club?"

 _Erin continues telling the story and as she continues, she's thinking back to the day. The pizza was here, but she told Jay she had to run because Annie was breaking down. She spewed a few details to add to the believability of the story. Lindsay didn't hang around for him to ask questions. She grabbed her jacket and keys, then left. Once she arrived at the club, the bass of the music was shaking the walls. The strobe lights blinded her as she stepped inside the overcrowded establishment. She skimmed the jumping crowd as her body was unintentionally pushed around. Erin could feel her cell vibrate against her side, but she chose to ignore it._

" _Erin!" Teddy is behind her. He grabs her arm and pulls her, "He's this way!"_

 _Teddy pulls the small detective up to the bar as Landon downs another shot. His pupils are dilated. He's sweating profusely. A grin looks to be uncomfortably stretched out across his face. Bunny sees her daughter approach and rises from the stool, "I'm glad you came."_

" _I didn't come for you," Erin shouts over the music, "I came for Teddy."_

 _Her mother smiled, "Thanks anyway Erin."_

" _Don't mention it. Please, don't mention this," Lindsay is approaching Landon, "…the sooner I help him, the sooner I can get home back to my husband."_

" _He doesn't know you're here." Bunny commented._

 _Lindsay rolls her eyes, "He doesn't want me anywhere near you…and I can't blame him."_

 _Erin turns Landon's bar stool around, and at the sight of the beautiful brunette, he drops his drink. The glass shatters against the ground and a smile stretches even wider across his face, "Erin! You're here! You're here! Join me!" He tries to swing around in order to order another round of drinks, but she prevents him, "Erin! Come on! Let the chair go! Come on beautiful! I'm ordering you a round and we'll see who can down them the fastest." Landon is rambling, "The bartender tried to cut me off, but I got him. All it takes is a little convincing through means of threats and intimidation. Ha!" He's laughing._

" _How much has he had to drink?" Erin can smell the heated booze radiating from his mouth._

 _Bunny shrugs, "um, we lost count after his tenth!"_

" _When was that?"_

"… _about two hours ago."_

" _You have got to be kidding me," Erin rolls her eyes. She didn't come to babysit. She came to get Landon out of here so she can go back home._

"… _maybe he needs some fresh air," Bunny suggested, "There's a side door over there. That way you can come back in easily without going through the hassle of security."_

" _Finally you say something smart," Lindsay is frustrated. She's irritated. She isn't the type of person to turn someone away if they needed help. Bunny knew that. And Bunny knew that if Erin would respond to anyone it would be Teddy._

 _The young detective carefully pulls Landon from his bar seat. He's unsteady on his feet and most of his weight is pressed against her. He inhales the scent of her hair as she practically drags him towards the side door._ Erin blinks out. She breaks the retelling of the story and her flashback of the memory playing through her head.

"Did you take him outside?"

Lindsay nods at Kim's question, "I took him to alley next to the club like Bunny suggested. I figured fresh air was good and he needed to release some steam."

"…then what happened?"

The guys feel it's best for Kim to take over the questioning. She's gentler. She looks less angry and intimidating. Lindsay's calmer than when she first arrived, "I don't want to talk about it anymore." Erin digs her nails into the couch cushion, "I want to put all of this behind us because it's not important."

"…of course it's important."

"No," Jay speaks up. He needed to know just as badly as everyone else, "What happened in the alley? What did Landon do?"

She wipes the drop of tear that fell, "He was just coming onto me…a little too aggressively."

"…and then what happened?" Jay takes her hand and encourages her to continue.

Erin looks into his eyes and ignored the surrounding stares. It was awkward. She was kind of embarrassed. Lindsay didn't want to seem weak or vulnerable. She had to get it over with. No one was going to drop it. And she couldn't have any more secrets between her and her husband. _Erin remembers seeing the door slam behind her. Landon trips over his feet and goes tumbling to the ground. He chuckles, "Erin, you came for me!"_

" _I came because Teddy asked me to help you."_

 _Landon uses the dumpster to pull himself to his feet, "You're always my hero! You save me every time. You love me."_

" _No," she's shaking her head and approaching him, "I pity you. I'm done helping you. You're beyond help. There's nothing I can do for you anymore."_

" _Oh," Landon shakes his head and gently grabs her wrist, "I don't believe that. I believe you love me. If you didn't, then why are you here?"_

"… _because Teddy begged me to come." She attempts to wrangle her wrist free, "And we grew up together. I don't love you, but I do care about you…and I do want what's best for you."_

" _You're what's best for me."_

" _No, we're not good for each other."_

Lindsay broke out of her reverie. She wanted to limit the details. Her eyes were continually zoned out, and she felt her hands in Jay's, "He didn't do what you guys think he did," her voice is extremely low. The silence in the home made it possible for them to hear what she just said, "He couldn't take the rejection. He brought you up," she nods her head towards her husband, "He couldn't stand the thought that he lost me to you. He tried everything to convince me, but I turned him down. He didn't take rejection well."

"What did he do?" Burgess asked. Voight purposefully remained silent.

"He pulled at my clothes. He hit me a few times. He pushed me up against a wall. He tried," she nods at the idea running through Jay's head, "but my mom and Teddy came out. Teddy pulled him off of me before it got too far."

"And Bunny tried to cover it up?" Halstead pressed on for more answers.

"Yes," Erin is suppressing her tears, "I stopped talking to her because of it. Bunny was frantic when she saw what Landon was trying to do to me. She kept making excuses for him. She said he was drunk, he was high off drugs and adrenaline, and he was desperate. She didn't think it was a big deal. She said he truly loved me. She said it wasn't the real him."

Voight finally decides to speak, "Why didn't you call it in? How come you didn't call me or Jay or Burgess? You kept this to yourself the whole time."

"Bunny said she would deny everything. And Teddy backed her up. Even if you didn't believe Bunny, you would have believed Teddy. She pretended that she didn't see anything. And because he just got reunited with her, Teddy didn't want to lose her. He backed her up and supported everything she said. I was going to take my chances and call it in, but I lied. I wasn't supposed to be there. It didn't look good on my part. After Nadia's death, I went on a downward spiral with Bunny, Teddy and Landon. If you had found out that I lied to see them, there would be nothing for me to say that would make you believe me. You and Jay told me to stop hanging with them," she looks between Hank and Jay, "and I did. I gave you my word that I wouldn't see them anymore. Bunny threatened to use that against me. She was going to tell you about how much I helped them out and how I deliberately lied to yours and Jay's face. I knew you were going to be mad and disappointed and I didn't know what that would do to our relationship. He didn't hurt me too bad," Erin shrugs and takes a deep breath, "I decided to suck it up and move on, but I never wanted to see them again."

"You came home that night," Jay remembered, "I…I didn't notice anything."

"Bunny took me to the bathroom, wiped my tears, put makeup on me, and fixed my clothes." Erin wipes her cheeks and rises from the couch, "When I left the club, I told them goodbye…for good. I didn't…I don't want to see them anymore."

Voight is pissed. He is angrier than anyone has ever seen him. Hank wasn't mad at Erin, a little disappointed that she didn't trust him enough to tell him, but other than that, he wasn't upset with her. Voight gripped his keys in his hands, "I'm going to kill them." He calmly walks away.

"Hank!"

"Erin, no," Voight immediately turns around, "You tried to solve it your way. I'm going to solve it mine. Who did that to you?" He's pointing at her broken spaghetti strap, "Was it Landon?"

"…he was drunk."

"And now you're making excuses for him."

"You're right," she's nodding, and she so desperately wants to approach him, but he's too angry, "I'll do this your way."

Voight turns to leave, "Good." Erin jumps sharply at the sound of the front door slamming. She had no idea what he was going to do, but she wasn't going to stop him. Hank wanted to take charge. Sometimes he needed to feel like the hero, and she was done always trying to maintain the peace and hiding her vulnerability.

"Guys," she turns to face Burgess and Ruzek, "can I please be alone with my husband?"

Burgess squeezes her hand gently, "Of course. Call me later…please."

Erin watches as her friends gather their few possessions and head for the door. She could feel Jay behind her and the moment the door closes, she turns to face him, "Babe-"

"No, you don't have to," he approaches her.

"Yes I do," she takes his hands in hers, "I remember everything. I remember what I put you through," her hand rests against the side of his face, "I love you. I don't love Landon. I never did and I never will. I cared about him, yes, I admit I did, but that's only because for a short period of my life, I needed him…and he was there. And I'm sorry I lied to you. I snuck out to help, but it was only one time. It wasn't a regular occurrence. Bunny lied to you about that. The moment you and Voight told me to stop, I did. I took your warning. I didn't sneak out to hang with them. The only time I snuck out was to help. I just wanted to help," tears are falling from her eyes. She's extremely sorry, and she wipes at the few tears that fall from Jay's face, "Why is that so wrong? I only saw them that time because Teddy called and said he needed help. I couldn't say no. It's my fatal flaw."

"No," Jay leans into her hand and pecks her palm, "It's one of the reasons why I love you. You just want to help, especially those who don't deserve it. You don't give up. And it's not fair if someone gave up on you."

Lindsay couldn't contain herself. She rises to the tips of her toes and presses her lips against his. Her hand slowly slides down his face and rests against the back of his neck. Halstead's breath is caught in his throat. He wasn't expecting this. And as his hands ran through the back of her head, pulled her in close, allowing the pressure and passion of the kiss to increase, she smiles. She's happy...really happy.


	19. The Forgiveness

Jay was truly happy. He was seated at the dining room table, watching as his wife prepared them lunch. It had been four days since he got her back. And those days were some of the best days he has ever experienced. Voight gave him days off. No one visited. Erin ignored Bunny's calls. Everything felt right in the world again. He had her back. He had the woman who stole his heart, the woman who stood beside him for better or worse, and the woman who he had the fortune to call his wife and partner.

"Okay, I haven't cooked in forever," she set a plate down in front of him, "hopefully when my memories came back, skills such as cooking came too." She joked, pulling a seat out, "Caution before you just dig in."

"I'm sure it'll taste great."

Erin chuckles, "You don't need to charm me. You already got into my pants."

"That's not what I'm trying to do," he assures, extending his hand to rest over hers, "I'm looking forward to trying…this. What is it?"

"It's pasta."

"…of course it is."

Erin jokingly hits his arm as her cell's ringtone blared through the dining room. Her phone was on the kitchen counter charging. Lindsay ignored the tone, as she smiled at her husband, "Ready to dig in?"

"You don't want to check your phone? It could be Voight, Burgess or Annie."

"…it could also be Bunny."

"You'll have to talk to her eventually."

"Well," she shrugs, lifting her fork from the plate, "eventually isn't today. And besides, I'm busy at the moment. She had me for months. She can wait a little longer."

"I love you," he smiles.

"I love you too."

The couple dug into the pasta prepped and prepared deliciously for lunch. Halstead could positively say that she did not forget how to cook. It was a skill they both possessed and used perfectly. The warm pasta with parmesan cheese sprinkled on top melted tastily in their mouths. These past four days had been a refresher. His wife, everything about her, was back. Her feistiness, her aggression and her beautiful personality were all back. She remembered everything, and it had been her idea for him to take off in order to enjoy her presence. Erin didn't do much convincing. With the wink of an eye, and a small smile, Jay had been wrapped back around her finger. Over the four day period of locking themselves indoors, they talked genuinely, she apologized profusely and he accepted each one. He didn't blame her. He couldn't.

"That was amazing," she smiles at his compliment and stands to take their plates, however, he stretches out his hand in order to stop her, "you cooked, I'll clean." She didn't object.

The two agreed. No more apologies. She had nothing to be sorry for. She couldn't control her memories. If he was in her place, he had no idea what he would do. She didn't remember him. He couldn't force her to. He was a stranger to her, and he had to understand and respect that. He couldn't force himself onto her. And no matter how much it hurt to be rejected by his wife countless times, he understood. It hurt. A lot. But now that she's back, they agreed to move on. No more apologies. No more secrets. She told him everything. She told him the story from the beginning and left nothing out. She told him about her stay with Bunny and Landon over the last two months. Erin confessed about the multiple kisses shared between her and Landon, and he wasn't mad at her. He didn't blame her. He blamed Landon. He took advantage of her. He took advantage of her memory loss and her vulnerability. It wasn't her fault.

"You look hot washing dishes." She flirted, taking a seat on top of the counter as she watched, "You should put the apron on and then finish washing them." Lindsay winked at him.

His wife deleted her mother's number. She erased Landon's cell too. Erin wanted absolutely nothing to do with them. And even though she wrote them off without an explanation, they continually called. She wanted to move on. Four days ago, when Voight left their house, he went and arrested Landon for assault and attempted rape. He couldn't charge him with anything that happened years ago, but Landon attacked her again. These charges were fresh. Hank had spent the night at the precinct, occasionally visiting Landon in the cage. If the charges don't stick, at least Landon received a retributive payment from Hank himself. He was currently out on bail. Erin threw the ripped dress away, and used makeup to cover the bruising around her neck. Showers and the occasional flinching away Erin does when he kisses her neck area were constant reminders of the minor pain she felt.

"The apron definitely works," she slides off of the counter and approaches him, "you look so domestic…and manly."

"I look manly in an apron," he turns off the water.

Her arms wrap around his waist, "Very."

Jay leans down and presses his lips against her forehead. He holds them there. They have nowhere to be, but here with each other. Her cell rings again and she makes no move towards it to answer it. She lets it ring as Jay pulls his lips away. Erin sighs and leans her forehead against his chest, "I can stay like this forever," her cell rings again and she continues to ignore it.

"You should answer it."

She shakes her head, "I don't want to talk to anyone but you."

"If you feel like you have something to prove to me, you don't. I trust you. I forgive you."

"You shouldn't though," she pulls away and steps back, "You forgave me too easily. I should hold some type of blame."

"It's not your fault."

"It was my idea to pull over the car."

"…and I obliged. You didn't force me, and even if you did, we were parked legally. The man was drunk and drove his dump truck into the back of us. There was nothing any of us could do."

Erin crosses her arms around her waist, "We should have just gone straight home that night. All of this wouldn't have happened if we did. I wouldn't have left you."

"You're back now."

"…but you didn't know if I would remember! I thought about leaving you for Landon!" She shouted, but he already knew. During their talk, she admitted it to him. Erin felt like she betrayed her own husband just by the thought. She drops her arms from around her waist, "I kissed someone else. I thought about leaving you for someone else." He took a step towards her and gripped her arms. He forgave her. He knew all of that. Erin closed her eyes and inhaled a deep breath, "I almost slept with someone else Jay." He didn't know that.

Halstead releases her arms and she takes another step back. He may have forgiven her, but she hasn't forgiven herself. Erin uses the back of her hands to wipe her eyes, "Landon wanted me…and every kiss we shared almost turned into more. It almost progressed into more. I almost crossed a line with him that you should know about."

"You didn't sleep with him though."

"I couldn't," she agrees, nodding along, "I didn't remember you, but every part of me was telling me to push him away. My old self was always there, trying to help me make the right decisions."

"Er, you have to forgive yourself. I've already forgiven you."

She wipes her eyes, "I can't. I don't deserve it."

Jay didn't know where in their afternoon that the tone of the conversation shifted, but it did and it did it quick. He stretched out for her, but she moved back, "If the roles were reversed, I wouldn't be so forgiving Jay. I would have been pissed. I would have yelled at you. I would have thought that you wanted someone else."

"Did you?"

"…at the time, yeah, but not anymore."

"You want me to be mad at you?"

"I deserve it," she agrees. Closing her eyes, preparing herself to take the brunt of his growing anger, however a quick knock gently beat against their front door, "We can ignore it," she reopened her eyes, but he was already walking towards it, "People who we actually would want to visit would have called first. It's probably Bunny."

Halstead opened the door, and it wasn't Bunny. It was someone Erin didn't expect to see. It was her brother. She squints her eyes, "Teddy." He looks uncomfortable as Jay waves him inside. She remembered everything. She didn't need to see him anymore. The two haven't spoken since that night, years ago, and she left him a voicemail telling him to ignore everything she said in the prior voicemails. Teddy's hands are tucked in his front pockets, and he's staring down at the ground, "Sorry for avoiding you."

"Why?" Her defenses are up, "Why didn't you answer my calls?"

"I couldn't face you."

"Why can you face me now? Why are you here?"

Jay closes and locks the door before maneuvering himself over to his wife. He wanted her to know that he's there and his presence is wherever she wants him. Teddy averts his eyes up to meet Erin's orbs, "I just came to apologize to you. I want you to know that I feel guilty. Everything about that day…I blamed myself."

"I was in an accident."

He's nodding, "I know. I heard your voicemails."

"Why didn't you call me back? Why didn't you tell me what I needed to know?"

As he looks at her pleading eyes, he steps closer, "I thought it was best that you didn't remember. I figured you would be better off."

"It was my right to know. Bunny wouldn't say anything and neither would Landon."

"I figured when you called and asked." Teddy pulls his hands out of his pockets, "I wanted to tell you what happened between you and them, but I felt guilty. If I could go back and change anything, it would be that. You, Bunny and I were reconnecting. It all started off good after you brought me back from New York. But then Landon came back into the damn picture and he screwed it all up. Bunny had always approved of his relationship with you."

Erin shakes her head, "I remember the story."

"No," Jay stops her and steps forward, "I want you to finish. I want to hear what happened from you. I want to hear about how you could possibly leave my wife to fend for herself."

Teddy turned to face Jay. He had already felt guilty and the look in his brother-in-law's eyes made him feel even worse. Teddy scratched the back of his head nervously, "I thought Landon was bad news. I didn't trust him."

"But you trusted him enough with Erin?"

"I didn't think he would hurt her. If anything I just thought he'll get her into some trouble." Teddy was trying to explain everything from his point of view, but as he defended himself aloud, he felt like a bad person, "I thought he would loosen her up. He'll convince her to have some fun. When Landon started hanging with us, everything changed. He's a drunk…a violent one. I thought the worst of him, but Erin always gave people the benefit of the doubt. She's kind and forgiving. You and Voight talked to her, and she stopped hanging around, but she was always a phone call away. She saw the good in everyone, especially people who didn't deserve it. That night, she just came to help."

"You took advantage of her niceness."

"I didn't know he would do that," Teddy defended.

"Why would you allow her to go to some alley with a violent drunk?!"

Teddy ran his hand shakily through his hair. He knew this conversation was going to occur eventually, but he wasn't planning for it to be with Jay. The glum look on his face wasn't an apology enough. Halstead saw through it all and took a step in front of his wife, "Let me tell you what I think…and you tell me whether or not I'm onto something, okay?" Teddy nods and Jay continues, "I do think you're here to apologize, but I don't think you expected to have to answer questions. Like you said, Erin's kind and forgiving. You knew she wouldn't really ask questions. You didn't want to answer her calls not because you thought it was in her best interest not to remember, you knew it was in yours. By not telling her, she stayed at the house with those people. You gave Landon another opportunity to attack…and he did."

Teddy turns to look at Erin, "I'm sorry."

"I'm not finished yet," Jay interrupted Teddy's apology, "You don't like Landon, yet you called Erin to get him and not the police because you didn't want to get the violent drunk into trouble. That just doesn't sound right to me," Halstead is shaking his head in disbelief, "You were very aware he's a violent drunk. And you were aware that she promised me and Voight that she'll stay away, yet you begged her. You took advantage of her kindness to get her to come to the club. She always comes when someone needs her…and you knew that." Halstead crossed his arms across his chest, and tilted his head, "So Erin gets to the club, and Bunny just happens to suggest that she take Landon out the side door where no one will be?"

"What are you implying Jay?" Teddy is growing irritated. He takes a step forward, and attempts to size Halstead up. He wasn't intimidated.

"You called her because you knew she wouldn't come if Bunny or Landon did. She only came for you…not them. You let her go outside in a dark alley with him by herself."

"What are you implying Jay?" Teddy repeats his earlier question.

"You wanted Erin to get hurt."

"Now you sound crazy," Teddy rolls his eyes, "Why would I want my sister to get hurt?"

"I would love to know the answer. I'm thinking jealousy. Voight took her in. She graduated high school, the academy and became a cop. After hanging out, she ditched you all the moment she realized that the lifestyle you all were living wasn't the one for her. What you wanted payback? You wanted something to weigh heavy on her. Erin started reconnecting with you all because of what she went through after Nadia's death! The tragedy in that and the devastation she felt pulled her to both of you. You used it to weasel your way in. And what? You figured if something else traumatic happened to her, she'll come crawling back."

"I saved her! I pulled Landon away from her!"

"…you must have had second thoughts!"

"You're lying!"

"You set her up!"

"Why would you think that?!"

"Instead you chose to protect Landon and betray your own sister!"

"Be quiet Jay!"

"Erin trusted you the most! She came to help for you, not Landon!"

"Shut up!"

"You backed Bunny up. And because you convinced her to lie to us, you used that against her!"

"I'm out of here!"

"Good," Jay clenched his fists, "you should leave before I do something I won't regret."

Lindsay stood in shock as she heard the front door slam closed. Not once did Teddy deny anything. He had a rebuttal or an excuse for everything her husband said. Jay saw the look on her face, and he noticed the quiver of her lip, "How did you know?"

"I'm a detective. I get paid to ask the tough questions."

"I didn't know though."

"You gave him the benefit of the doubt. He's your brother. We all have a blind spot for family."

Halstead wrapped his arms around her, and pulled her in close, "I'm sorry you had to learn that way. You deserve better."

"When did you figure it out?"

"It was after you told me the story the second time. Something just didn't sound right."

She squeezes her arms around him tighter, "I…I love you Jay."

"I'm sorry Erin."

"You didn't do anything wrong."

"…and neither did you."

"He set me up."

"He wanted you back. He thought since tragedy reconnected you all then it'll do it again."

"…at my expense."

"I'm sorry."

"Stop apologizing," she pulls back, "you did nothing wrong."

"I'll stop if you stop."

Erin looked at him and nodded. It was going to be hard, but she agreed. She was hurt. Teddy, Bunny and Landon had all lied to her and she was stupid enough to believe them. They walked over her, multiple times. They took advantage of her gullibility. She hated when people took advantage of her niceness. It was a pet peeve. It irritated her. It angered every part of her being. Lindsay turned away from her husband, and approached the front door, "Come on Jay!" she grabbed her keys off of the hook.

"Where are we going?"

"…to my mother's house. I'm ready to speak to her."

"What are you going to say?" Jay locks the front door behind them.

"I don't know." She holds up the keys, "Here, you drive." She tosses them into his hold.

"You want me to drive?"

"I'm too pissed off right now."

The young couple hopped into her car, and during the entire drive, her right leg shook. She stared out of the window as Jay abided by every traffic law. She would have broken a few if she was behind the wheel. Her fingers begin to tap anxiously against her lap, "Who do they think they are?" She turns to face him, "Who does that type of shit? They're manipulative and selfish!"

Jay knew not to speak. She needed to get it all off her chest. Over the past four days, they were living in heaven. They were content, although they did have a few emotional conversations. Erin rolled her window down in order to get some fresh air, "My mom looked me in the eye every single day and said nothing. Landon played me. Teddy avoided me because he felt bad for conspiring behind my back for Landon to attack me! Who are these people?!"

"I'm glad your gun is at home." She didn't laugh or smile. He doesn't even know if she heard his joke. Halstead slows to a brief stop at the stop sign, "Don't do anything that'll end with you in jail. With these hospital bills, I'm not sure if I have the money to bail you out."

"Jay, why is my family so screwed up?"

"Voight, Annie, me and the team are your family…not them. Family doesn't treat you like that."

She feels his hand rest upon her shaking leg, "I hate them."

"You have every right."

"I want nothing to do with them. I want to get my stuff, tell them to leave me the hell alone and then leave. I want you with me to make sure I don't do anything illegal."

"I got you."

She places her hand over the top of his. Her eyes close as she struggles to take calming breaths. As the wrangled breaths escape from her, she pries open her eyes. They're parked. She feels his hand leave her thigh and the two step out together.

Erin leads Jay up the few stairs and in front of her mother's apartment door. She searches through her keys, and when she's about to put the key in, the door swings open.

"Oh, I'm so glad you're okay! I've been calling you like crazy!"

Lindsay says nothing as she angrily steps inside.

"What's he doing here?"

"My husband is here to make sure I leave this apartment without laying a hand on you and Landon." She spots Landon quietly sitting on the couch. Bruising surrounds his neck, eyes and nose. His lip is swollen. Erin couldn't help but to smile at the damage Voight did. Erin disappears into the bedroom and grabs the few things she had here, "I'm here to talk to you. I want to make sure you understand me when I say that I don't want to ever see or speak to you again. I want nothing to do with you."

"Erin, what's this about?"

"Haven't you spoken to Landon?" Lindsay glances at the silent man from over her mother's shoulder, "He should have filled you in." she looks at her mother and smiles, "I remember."

The smile on Bunny's face falls as she realizes what her daughter is saying. Erin remembered and that wasn't a good thing. She snaps back into the conversation, and raises her hands to silent Lindsay's angered breath, "I can explain."

"You and Landon kept the truth from me! That was your chance to explain!"

Bunny stepped back, "Erin-"

"How could you use my accident to rewrite the past?!" Her voice betrays her when it cracks sadly. Erin's lip quivers and Jay wants to step in. However, he knew this conversation was for her. She needed this. Erin drops the few possessions in her hand, "How could you act like nothing happened? How could you conspire against me? How could you do any of this?!"

"It's in the past sweetheart. You've forgiven Teddy. I deserve forgiveness too."

"I didn't forgive Teddy," Erin corrects, running her hands through her hair, "And I definitely won't forgive you. You don't deserve it!"

"Sweetheart-"

"Don't call me that!"

"Erin-"

"Don't say my name." Erin takes the apartment key off of her key ring, "You can have this back. I know for a fact that I won't need it again."

"I'm so sorry."

"I need to get out of here," Lindsay turns to face Jay, "I don't want to see her, hear her voice, or think of her. I want her out of my life for the rest of my life," she glances at Landon, "And I hope you suffered by Voight's hand."

"I'm sorry," Landon's apology is low.

"You're sorry." She chuckles at his apology, "Apology not forgiven. You're a monster. You need help…a lot of it. I have nothing to say to you. You're a lost cause. And you're beyond help." She looks back at her mother, "I know Landon was only going to move out for my sake, but he should stay. You two deserve each other. Bye Barbara. Bye Landon."

"Erin, wait! There has to be something we could do!"

Lindsay is in disbelief over her mother's words, "Yeah, there is something you both can do. You can burn in hell. And I swear, if you contact me again in any way, shape or form, I will make you pay. I promise you." Erin has nothing left to say. She sees the shocked expression on her mother's face, as she and Jay grab her things and leave from the apartment.

Erin kicks the door shut behind her and exhales a large breath of relief. She smiles as she feels a weight lift from her shoulders, "Are you ready to go home?"

"How are you feeling?"

"…that was a long time coming."

"I'm surprised you didn't say or do more."

Erin shrugs as they walk down the stairs, "Trust me, I wanted to. I really did, but I deserve better. I don't have to explain myself to her. And cutting her off, felt good. It felt really good Jay. Is that bad? Does that make me a horrible person?"

"…not at all." He nudged her side gently, "Come on let's go home."

"Where are my keys? I'm driving."

"I thought you said I could drive."

"I let you drive." She extends her hand, "You're the house husband, remember?" She chuckles as he places the keys in her hand, "Thank you baby." Erin winks at him.


	20. The End

It's been six months since she last saw Bunny and Landon. It has been six months since she had shut them out of her life. Six months since she dealt with the drama they caused. The six months that have passed have been the most peaceful, and stress-free times that she will always remember. With Bunny and Landon out of her life permanently, Erin's life had been quickly easing back on track. She's back at work. She's back to her normal routine. She's back hanging out with her friends and enjoying the life of a married woman.

As her hand intertwines with her husband's hand, the two began their walk along the trail. It was the location of their first date. It became their regular place to talk or to just be in each other's presence. Jay withdraws his hand from hers in order to wrap his arm around her shoulders, "Are you cold? Are you tired? Are you okay?"

"Jay, I'm fine," she chuckles, leaning into him, "You worry too much."

"I'm your husband. I have a right to worry."

"You're a worry wart."

He presses a kiss to her forehead, "Are you up for tonight?"

"You mean for Burgess and Ruzek's anniversary party?" He nods, and she responds, "Of course. I need to get out of the house. No offense babe," she wrapped her arm around his waist, "but I need to see and surround myself with people other than you, Voight and Justin." She rose to the tip of her toes and pecked his lips, "I need human contact before this little nugget comes."

Their heads tilted down and their eyes fell upon her swollen belly. Her four month pregnant bump was covered by her warm sweater, and opened jacket. The moment she suspected she was pregnant was due to Annie's insistence. Annie was convinced that Erin was with child. She pestered the younger woman until she gave in, bought a test and took it. Annie stayed with Erin the remainder of the day until Jay came home. Lindsay was off due to illness, which all made sense when the pregnancy test came back positive.

Once Halstead walked through the door, tired of the day's events, and the caseload that plagued the city for a week, he was ready to pass out on the couch. However the smile on his wife's face and the pep in her step gave him the burst of energy he needed throughout the day.

" _If you have good news, I'm in need of some." Jay kicks off his shoes by the door and proceeds to walk further into the house "Are you feeling any better? I don't think I can go to work another day without you by my side. Olinsky's cool, but he's driving me crazy!"_

 _She waved him over, "Annie came over and took care of me."_

" _Is that so?" His arms circled her waist._

 _She nods, "Yeah, and as she was trying to nurse me back to health, she realized something."_

 _Halstead interrupts her by pressing his lips against her mouth. He was in desperate need of his wife. When he said he had missed her, it wasn't a lie. It was hard handling such an emotional case without her there. Jay had to already suffer her absence during her sabbatical after the accident, and now he was ready to have his partner back permanently._

" _Jay," her lips mumbled against his._

" _You're not feeling warm," he slowly pulled away and looked into her eyes, "How's your stomach? Have you been able to eat and keep anything down?"_

" _I'm not sick."_

" _That's good," he smiled and pressed his lips against her once again, "I can kiss you as much as I want without fear of getting sick."_

" _Well, I have some good news…"_

" _What news can possibly beat you being perfectly healthy?" He brushed a strand of her brunette hair behind her ear._

" _It'll top it." Her dimpled smile stretches across her face._

" _Alright," with his arms still wrapped around her waist he responds, "let's see what you-"_

" _I'm pregnant."_

Erin remembered that day like it was yesterday. The overgrown smile that stretched across his face, the excitement in his eyes, his arms pulling her into a hug were all indicators of his enthusiasm. He grabbed her waist and lifted her into the air. The young couple spun in the air once before nausea hit Lindsay and the mood was immediately ruined by her swatting him away so she could peacefully run to the restroom.

As the couple continued walking along the lighted pathway, Erin spotted the setting sun. She pulled her husband close as they slowly continued, "What time should we be leaving?"

He glanced at his watch, "…in the next hour or so."

"Erin!" The voice of a familiar person pulls the couple to a stop. The two turn around to be met with the sight of an approaching Bunny, Landon and Teddy.

"What do you want to do?" Halstead asks his wife as the trio slowly approaches them, "It's up to you. You want to stay and talk, yell, hit or claw at them, we can do that. You want to make a run for it; I'm up for that too. It's up to you. I can even carry you over my shoulder if you think that bump of yours will get in the way of us making a clean getaway."

"It's okay Jay," she's smiling. He always knew how to pull a laugh from her. She hadn't seen them in six months. It was inevitable that they would run into each other again. When his arm dropped from around her shoulders, she took a hold of his hand, "Just, don't leave my side."

"…never."

With her sweater buttoned all the way up, Bunny pushed her chilly hands into her pocket. A small smile was tugged at her lips, "Hi Erin." Her voice is low and cautious. She didn't know how her daughter would take her sudden appearance.

"Hi Bunny, what can I help you with?" Her lips were pressed into a straight line and her expression was unreadable, "I see you still associate yourself with him," her head nods in Landon's direction. She doesn't refer to him by name.

"I'm sorry."

"You already said your apologies six months ago. Do you have anything new to say?"

"I love you," Bunny stepped closer to her daughter and pulled her arms out of her pockets, "I miss you. I'm sorry for everything. I wish I could take it back because I would. If I could rewind time Erin, I would. I wasn't thinking."

"Of course you weren't thinking. When have you ever thought about anything you've done?" Erin releases her husband's hand and moves closer to her mother, "When I said I wanted nothing to do with you, I meant it. I want you out of my life. I want you out of all of our lives." Lindsay's hand subconsciously falls to her baby bump.

"You're pregnant," Bunny sighs in relief, "I thought you were getting fat." The joke fell flat. Both Erin and Jay didn't find it funny.

"Goodbye Bunny," Erin turns to leave, but Bunny quickly steps forward.

"Give me another shot! Let's let bygones be bygones. You're going to be a mommy… and that's a time when you'll need yours the most."

Erin couldn't help but chuckle at her mother's words. Lindsay couldn't believe anything that came out of Bunny's mouth. It was all a joke. She was a joke.

"You're ridiculous."

Bunny ignores her comment, "Do you know if you're having a boy or girl?"

"Something is seriously wrong with you Bunny."

"It's mom."

"Mom is reserved for your children." Erin's words stung her mother. She could see the clear hurt written across Bunny's face, but she truly didn't care. Bunny didn't care about Erin getting hurt and the feeling is now mutual.

"Let's not do this Erin. Landon and Teddy apologized to you…that should be enough! Gosh, what else are we supposed to do to show you how sorry we are! You are impossible to please!"

"I'm not going to dignify any of that with a response."

"Ever since Voight put his claws in you, you've been uppity. You think you're better than all of us! Well, I hate to break it to you Erin Lindsay, but you're not."

Lindsay turned to leave, "Goodbye Bunny." She takes a hold of her husband's hand.

"Erin, wait!" She hears Landon's voice instead of her mother's whining tone.

Landon may have gotten a slap on the wrist by his trial judge, but he wasn't so lucky with Voight. If Hank found out about this little conversation and the fact that Landon was here, in her presence, he would hunt Landon down.

"I didn't want to hear what Bunny had to say so what could possibly make you think I want to hear what you have to say."

"I just want to say congratulations," his head nods towards her baby bump, "for the baby. You'll make a great mother."

"I had a good role model in Camille," the honest remark hurt Bunny.

Jay wrapped his arm around his wife's shoulder, "We should be getting out of here." He looked to his wife's former family, "I would say it was a pleasure, but it wasn't."

"Erin," Teddy spoke up; eyes looking everywhere, except his sister's direction, "I know you don't care what I have to say, but, just in case there's a tiny part of you that does, I apologize for my part in it. I take full responsibility." Lindsay says nothing. The woman simply nods her head.

Jay ushers his wife away from them. He could see the hurt expression on her face. It would soon pass, especially if they talked about it. As they began heading back to their car -their nightly walk cut off by unwanted company- he decided to speak, "Want to talk about it?"

"Why do I still feel…angry?"

"…because the people you trusted broke that trust. It'll take time to get over it."

"Do you think I should forgive them?"

"I don't want to make that decision for you," Jay leads his wife down the pathway.

"I want your honest opinion Jay. You're my husband. You have a say."

"Honestly," he whispers and she nods, patiently waiting for his response, "they had two times to make it up to you and they screwed both chances up. Don't give them another chance to do it." His eyes quickly glance down to her belly, "And I honestly don't want my baby anywhere near them. They poison everything they touch and I would kill them if they did that to my baby."

"Okay," she whispers, accepting his words.

"I shouldn't have said anything."

"No, no," she shakes her head, tugging on his jacket and pulling him closer, "I'm glad you did. I don't want anything to do with them. I just wanted to make sure I wasn't being a bad person in feeling the way I did. They apologized multiple times and I can't forgive them…no matter how hard I try…so I'm not trying anymore. I'm cutting them off. I want to forget about them, and I felt bad for thinking that. Does that make me a horrible person?"

"…not at all." He pressed his lips against her forehead, "I wasn't trying to sound controlling. I just don't want to lose you again."

"You won't," she hugs him.

Her arms clench tightly around him as if at any moment he would pull away. He had no intention. The hug was going to end on her terms. Her hand pressed against the back of his head and she lightly pecked a kiss against his cheek, "I love you."

"I love you too." He responds returning a kiss against her cheek, "I could stay like this."

She pulls back, "Unfortunately, we're already behind schedule. We should really be heading to Burgess and Ruzek's place. They won't be able to have a good time without their best friends there. Let's go…and no pulling over for some quick hanky panky," she winks.

"We definitely learned our lesson," he takes a hold of her hand, "We're driving straight there. No unplanned stops and no late night fun while behind the wheel."

"Is that our new rule?"

"Yeah," Erin's hand falls to her stomach, "it's not just us anymore."

His hand sits on top of hers, "Can you believe we're going to be parents?"

"I know," her eyes widen, "it's kind of exciting and scary at the same time. We, you and I, Halstead and Lindsay as parents…it's crazy."

The couple continues their walk to their parallel parked car. As Jay approaches the passenger door, he opens it for his wife, "It's going to be a challenge," he holds her hand as he helps her safely and gently get inside the vehicle, "but I'm up for it as long as I have you by my side."

"We're partners at work, in marriage…and now in parenthood. We got this." He shuts the door.

Once it was safe, Jay jogged around to the driver's side, and quickly hopped inside, "We're going to grow tired of each other," he laughs as he buckles his seat belt.

"As long as you give me my occasional space and you don't get on my nerves during this pregnancy, we should be fine."

"I'll try." He checks her seat belt to assure himself that it's locked, "We have so much to do in the next few months…and I have a feeling that they'll fly by."

"I already started reading one of the pregnancy books Annie got me."

Jay starts the car, and safely pull out of his parking spot, "I haven't had the chance to crack open the one she got me."

"Jay!"

"What?" He's driving a little below the speed limit when he turns to eye her hastily, "I've been a little busy. I've been talking to Olinsky and Dawson though. They gave me advice that a book could never give me."

"Oh yeah," she crosses her arms, "like what?"

"Besides the fact that you're going to be extra hormonal these next few months, including the months following delivery," she smacks his arm as he continues, "they told me to always remember that the reason for the hormone shift is because you're carrying our little nugget," he extends his hand to place over her stomach, "You'll request unusual cravings and the least I could do is get the food for you. You'll want your feet and back rubbed and I should be up for it. You'll want to vent about the most irrelevant things and I should listen. You'll want to cry and I'll comfort. You'll want to pig out and I'll be right next to you. You'll want to call yourself fat, a whale and every other name in the book and I'll be there to compliment you. You'll constantly shift in the bed to find a comfortable spot and I shouldn't complain. As the pregnancy progresses, you'll need help tying your shoes and I'll be there to tie them. I'll help you walk down the stairs. I'll help you sit down and stand up. I'll drive you anywhere you want to go regardless of the time. I'll do anything to make sure that you and the baby are okay, and it's not out of duty, but out of love." He pulls his hand away as he notices her speechless face, "See," he grins, turning onto the highway, "I learned some things that a pregnancy book won't teach me."

Erin's silent. She literally has the best husband in the entire world. She's speechless. She opens her mouth to respond, but she can't think of the words to say. Nothing comes to mind. When one sentence comes to mind, she realizes that it doesn't fully explain everything she's thinking. Lindsay allows the silence to encompass their car. They're on the highway, and as minutes pass, they grow closer and closer to their best friends' house. She's blinking hard. His words on constant replay through her head, and without any control, tears begin falling from her eyes.

"I love you so much." She thinks of the words. They're simple, yet they're everything.

He picks up her hand and presses his lips against each knuckle. Her words didn't need a response. The couple allowed them to float through the air.

As they pull in front of the home of their closest friends, Erin takes in the packed driveway. Her house was filled with people. Lindsay could even see the few parallel spots in front of the house were filled. With her hand still in her husband's hand, she turned to face him, "Where are we supposed to park? All of the spaces are filled."

"I'll drive around to find a spot. Just in case it's far, I don't want you to have to walk so go ahead and hop out. Tell Burgess and Ruzek I'll be there in a few."

"I'll walk with you."

"Your feet-"

"…are fine." She finished, squeezing his hand gently, "I love Burgess and Ruzek, I do, and I'm excited to see them, but my goodness, how many freaking people do they know? I don't want to…I can't be around all of those strangers for hours. I don't think I'm up for that."

With no objection, Jay slowly drove down the road until he spotted the first empty parking space. After making sure it wasn't in front of anyone's property, he parallel parked into it. Before unbuckling his seat, he turned to look at her, "The moment you're ready to leave, we're leaving."

"I'll be fine Jay," she opened her car door and stepped outside.

"I know you'll be fine," he jogged around the car to walk alongside her, "I'm just saying, we haven't really been to a party in months…and the last anniversary party we went to was ours."

She chuckles, "You worry too much."

Halstead was not expecting her to laugh. Usually the subject of their accident or last year's anniversary was avoided. Neither usually brought it up and when one did, it was usually a serious conversation.

"You can't drink so you'll be the designated driver tonight," Jay whispered, taking a hold of her hand, "I don't think I'll be able to get through this night without a drink."

"…well, thanks a lot."

"We both shouldn't have to suffer," Jay laughed in response. He leaned over and pressed a kiss to the side of her head.

Erin walked along the sidewalk, hand clasped in her husband's hold, as the chilled wind blew through their hair. She pressed her body against her husband's form to get a feel of his body heat. Her feet soon began to ache, but she refused to complain about it to her husband. He would simply say I told you so and she would rather suffer than hear those words coming from him.

"I'm going to hate maternity leave," her low voice mumbled filling the silent air of the night.

"How could you hate maternity leave when you'll have a bundle of joy to hang with," he responded, hearing the music blasting from the Ruzeks' house, "It'll be fun and I'll be with you."

"Fun? I'll be bored. And you'll be with me for only a few weeks AFTER the baby is born!"

"I doubt you'll be bored. The little nugget will definitely keep you busy."

She chuckled and shook her head, "I don't doubt that, but I'll be bored waiting for the baby to come. Soon Voight is going to have me stay home and I won't be able to come into work. Desk duty is not fun, but I would rather do that than stay home. Yesterday, when I stayed home because I was too tired and sick to come in, I watched the dog Jay; I watched our freaking dog chase its tail for 20 minutes. And do you want to know the sad part?" She feels him nod his head as he suppresses a chuckle, "the sad part is that for a few minutes I actually thought wow, dogs are easily entertained, and then I freaking remembered that I watched him chase his tail for 20 minutes. Jay, I'm a badass, right?" She could hear him agree, "I don't want to lose that just because I'm having a baby."

"You won't lose that," he pulls her even closer to brush his lips against her forehead, "You're as badass as they come…and becoming a mother has made you an even bigger badass. We're here. Are you sure you're up for this?"

"Of course, there's no need to worry," she pulled away from her husband and stood confidently, "Mama Halstead got this." As she begins to walk, she abruptly stops in order to turn and face him, "But I swear Jay, if a stranger rubs my belly-"

"No stranger is going to rub your stomach."

"You would think they would know not to do that. I mean," she's following behind her husband as she rants, "I don't freaking see a sign that says petting zoo hanging from my forehead." Erin catches up to her husband, "I don't have enough fingers to count how many times a person I didn't know rubbed my belly. I just want it to be said, if a stranger pets my stomach, I'm going to scream and I won't be able to control my actions."

He threw his arm around her shoulders, "Come on my little badass."

Erin chuckles as she follows her husband's lead up to the front door of their friends' home. The door was unlocked, awaiting their arrival, and the young couple stepped inside.

"About damn time," Burgess shouts over the music. The young officer races up to Erin's side, and pulls her from Jay's hold. Lindsay gave her husband one last glance before being pulled into the dining room. Halstead stayed back and headed into the living room to find Ruzek.

"How is my little niece or nephew?" Kim stooped low to be eye level with Erin's stomach, "Your auntie Kim loves you so much!" She pets her friend's stomach, "And I can't wait to see your little face and babysit you and just kiss your chubby cheeks!"

"Burgess," Lindsay pulls her friend back to a standing position, "I don't mind you making kissy sounds and petting my stomach because you're my best friend and I love you like a sister, but your other friends are watching…and I don't know them…and they're smiling creepily…and I swear to you that if one of them touch my belly due to the influence of pregnancy hormones I will either start crying or kill them."

The grin on Kim's face stretches out, "No strangers touching belly, got it," She turned to her friends and could see that they had heard Erin's warning.

"Happy Anniversary!" Erin announced, a genuine smile forming on her face, "I'm so happy for and Ruzek. And Jay and I have a gift for you two."

"You know I love presents…not that you had to get me one."

"Get your husband so we can tell you what it is."

With a few glasses of alcohol in her system, Kim picked up the pep in her step. She went into the living room in search of her husband. Erin quietly made a plate, trying to block out the loud music and the side eye from a few of Burgess flight attendant friends. As seconds passed, she felt arms wrap around her from behind, "I was beginning to think you ditched me."

"I could never," he whispered against her ear, "I was with Ruzek, but Burgess just got him. She said something about a present from us. The gift isn't here yet."

She turned in his arms with the plate secured between her fingers, "We could still tell them. I'm excited to see the look on their faces."

"They won't be able to hear us over all of these people and this horrible music."

"We'll go outside," she spots Burgess and Ruzek from over her husband's shoulder, "…to the backyard." Erin shouted, pointing towards the backdoor.

Jay was the last to step outside. He closed the door behind him, muffling the sound of the blaring music. With Burgess' hand in his, Ruzek rocked back and forth on his feet, "Guys, you didn't have to get us anything."

"We know we didn't," Erin was the first to speak up, looking between their best friends.

Halstead spoke after his wife, "Yeah, I told Lindsay our friendship with you guys was enough. There's no price you can put on it."

"You guys are funny," Ruzek dryly comments.

"Okay, so is it a group gift or is it a separate gift?...like one for me and one for Ruzek?"

Erin intertwined her fingers and smiled, "It's a group gift."

"Should we close our eyes?" Burgess was overly excited. She told everyone not to bring a gift. They didn't want anything, but for their closest family and friends to come out and help them celebrate the anniversary of her marriage to the love of her life.

"It's not here yet," Jay scratched the back of his head.

"What do you mean?" Ruzek is confused. He's looking between his two friends, "What is it?"

"…this," Erin whispers, placing her hands upon her round belly.

"You're giving us your baby."

The confusion on Ruzek's face combined with his words spark a laugh from Erin and Jay. Burgess says nothing. She's just as confused as her husband.

"No, we're not giving you our baby," Jay clarifies, looking to his wife to further explain.

"We want you to be baby Halstead's godparents."

"Godparents," Kim's small voice whispers.

"Yes godparents." Erin's nodding assuredly.

"I…I thought," tears are forming within Kim's eyes, "I thought you would want Annie and her husband to be your baby's godparents. You've known her longer and I wasn't going to press the issue. I just assumed. I was fine with it, but I-"

"Kim, sweetie," Ruzek steps in front of his wife, "you're rambling."

She agrees, "I am."

"Annie's great. She's one of my best friends, but so are you guys." Erin replies, approaching Kim, and taking a hold of her hand, "You really stepped up after the accident." She reached for Ruzek and pulled him close, "both of you did. You never gave up on me. You were there for Jay. You were strong and supportive through it all…and I don't know if I ever told you both thanks."

"You're going to make me cry." Burgess is wiping at her eyes.

"Life is short. If something were to happen to me and Erin, we want to know that our baby is in great hands; trustworthy hands. We want our baby to be loved and cared for by the best." Jay approaches his wife and friends, "…and you two are the best; the best friends anyone could have. So," Jay is smiling hard, "we gave you our spill. Don't feel pressured into accepting…it's a lot to take in, so take your-"

"We accept," Ruzek spoke up for him and his wife, "Gosh man, of course we accept."

Kim is a ball of tears. Tear after tear is rolling down her cheek. She accepted from the moment Lindsay told them. Burgess opens her mouth, not trusting her voice and speaks, "You guys are the best friends anyone could ever want."

"…the feeling is mutual." Erin agrees.

"Does this mean I can rub your stomach whenever I like?"

"I don't mind you Kim; it's strangers that I have the problem with."

"I love you guys," Kim's voice quivers at her admittance, "Can we hug now?"

Lindsay nods at Burgess, "Of course."

The moment the words left Erin's mouth Burgess threw her arms around her. She extended her hand out and waved for Jay and Adam to join in on the hug.

"What's going on out here?" Voight's voice interrupts the moment as he exits the house. The friends pull away to see Hank, Mouse, Dawson, Olinsky, Atwater and Roman.

"Now the whole team's here," Erin claps, wiping at her eyes, "It's the pregnancy hormones."

"…then why is Burgess crying?" Atwater points out, "Unless she's-"

"No, no!" Burgess shouts, waving off his insinuation, "No kids for us," she points between her and Ruzek, "well, unless you count our godbaby."

Hank smiled, "You told them."

"We just did."

"Congratulations guys." Dawson spoke up, patting Ruzek on the back.

"We should get back to the party," Roman spoke up, scratching the back of his head nervously, "I hate to be that guy but neighbors have already complained about the noise…and I think a few of your high school buddies Ruzek broke a few things in the living room."

"Are you serious?" Ruzek pressed his fingers against the center of his forehead, "Thanks again Erin and Jay. You guys won't regret it. Hopefully we're not too good; I can't guarantee you that the kid won't want to move in with us." He jogged back into his home.

"I guess I should help him," Burgess whispered, tugging on Erin's hand, "We're going out for lunch tomorrow…we have a lot to talk about…more so, the moment you and Jay realized we would be the perfect godparents."

"Got it," Erin saluted, watching as her friend jogged after Ruzek.

Seconds following the squad reentered the home, leaving Erin and Jay outside in the chilly night. Lindsay set her hand atop her belly bump, "I'm happy with our decision."

"Same," he wrapped his arms around her waist, "…the looks on their faces were priceless."

"I wish we had recorded it," she chuckles, turning in his arms, "You know, pretty soon, I won't be able to fit in your arms anymore."

"You'll always fit in my arms." He presses a kiss against her lips, "Are you ready to head back inside? We can stay out a little longer if you're not up to it."

"Yeah, I'm ready."

"You're not going to bite anyone's head off, are you?"

"Nope."

"You're not going to cry?"

"Not at all."

"If you want to do either, I got your back."

"Well aren't you the best husband."

"For better or worse, remember?"

She nods, "For better or worse."


End file.
